My father cursed me out and said the worst things to me!

@cream97 (29169)
United States
September 30, 2008 12:19pm CST
I talked to my father yesterday. It was about me asking ,about the money that he owes me in paying me back. He told me that he will give me my money next week. He kept on saying, that I will get my money.... He told me not to go back to the guy's house anymore.. He said that my sister messed up everything for everybody. That is why the guy does not want to work with us. He said, that now he can no longer go to the guy to ash him for any more favors.. He told me that I am just like my sister, Latoya.. I am nothing like her.. I don't go around messing around with men. My sister goes around town spreading rumors about my dad. I am nothing like that. Now, the people in our home town looks at my father funny. My dad cursed me out and told me that I ain't s***! He said that I never pay people back when I borrow money from them... What is he talking about?? I have never borrowed any money from anyone that he knows, not even him. I told him that I was not guilty of this.. He then tells me that, my aunt was the one that ripped the guy off of over $300-600 dollars.. So, if she is the one that he is referring to, then why bring my name up into something.. The main fact is that, my dad took my $90.00 and used for his own personal means. The last time that I gave him any money was August 22, 2008. I have not seen a dime of that money yet! Why is my dad being so mean to me.. When I called him, I left a message on their voice mail.. He then called me back an hour later, talking like a woman.. He wanted yo know if someone just called their number. I told him it was me, his daughter. He then told me to hold on, then he came back to the phone trying to sound all mad.. He won't be honest with me about my money. And I expect that he never will. He keeps on telling me that he will pay me back. But, when it is time for me to get my money, I never see him or the money. He said that when he gets the money he will give me a call on my cell phone. Why is he blaming others, and not himself??? Why is he trying to make me feel as if I have done something wrong. I am his oldest daughter. He always says that he can trust me, because I am nothing like my two other sisters. So, why is he cursing me out like I am the bad guy?
1 person likes this
3 responses
@ShellyB (5244)
• United States
30 Sep 08
I am very sorry for you. I do not know why is your father cussing at you like that when you did him a favor. Like I say I am very sorry. I hope you hang in there and that things get better. (I believe this is the reason I do not lend money to family members (I give them what I can afford and move on) but that is just me. I wish you good luck and I hope you do get your money back.
1 person likes this
@cream97 (29169)
• United States
30 Sep 08
Yes, I hope so too! From this experience, I have learned to never lend money to family members again.. If it is my child, I may make an exception..
@ShellyB (5244)
• United States
30 Sep 08
I am wondering if you have a job? If you do, I will advice let it, this kind of heartbreak is not worth 90 bucks. I do hope the pays you tho, and I hope he realizes he is hurting you and no amount of money is worth the pain of his daughter.
1 person likes this
@cream97 (29169)
• United States
30 Sep 08
I am hoping that he is realizing that he is hurting me... But the sad thing about it, he cats like he does not care. If he is fooling me, he sure can fool a person. My dad was very mean on the phone yesterday. I came to him calm cool and collected. He should have remain the same with me.
• Philippines
30 Sep 08
Awww I am really so sorry about what's happening with your family...I have responded to one of your discussions about this previously and I am really sad about it. I come with a close tie with my family...Would it be possible for you to just forget about the money your dad owe you? I know it's still money and that you need it as bad as he does but wouldn't it be better to save your relationship with your dad rather than have it gone and ruined because of a money owed? Like you for me money is so so important since I have 5 kids, my husband doesn't work and I pay for everything as in every thing and several times I have extended help and support to my other sibs and they as well to me and I may not be able to pay them and they I but we just realized that money is no importance..It is the relationship...The family..If you can let this pass this time and he borrows again just let him borrow with what you can afford to help knowing and keeping in mind that he might not be able to give it back. When you are loose with money and you don't hold it much more money will come to you...Freely give, freely you will receive..whatever good things you do to others it will return to you a hundred folds.I am not saying for you to give all you have to your dad or anybody but please let this pass..Call your dad tell him "Dad you know I really needed that money but I guess you need it more than I do I don't want us to fight over this so I guess you can just pay me back whenever you have it. I won't bother you with it anymore". Who knows your dad might even think about it if you say it to him that way..nicely and calmly. If in case he really doesn't pay up please let go and just move forward. It is much better for you to do so because if not you will be just stressed out, problematic, depressed about the outcome and it will just ruin your family ties with your dad. Wouldn't it be much better to let go?..have a peace talk with your dad about it and move forward.. Try this and I believe you will get a good outcome on it. I wish you all the best and I do hope you get to patch things with your dad soon. Take care always..and remember put a smile always on your face when problem comes along and see it all fade away into nothingness. Blessed be my friend..hugs...xxx
@cream97 (29169)
• United States
30 Sep 08
I feel what you are saying.. But my dad was very dishonest with me, and that broke many ties that binded our relationship. Yes, I still love him, but I don't trust him at all anymore. He will not admit the truth, and he continues to blame others for his mess ups. He lies too much.. If, I was really a mean daughter, like my sister, then he would have been in jail serving time.. But, I don't want this to happen to him. So, I am cutting him some slack so that I will give him time to pay me. When he tells me that he will pay me a certain time, I will look for this money.. But, when it is not there, that is when I start to question him.. I am not a grudge holder. I just want my dad to do the right thing. By paying me back the money that he took from me. He was the one that was wrong not me. Every time that I talk to him, his voice is so loud and he curses too much. He does not have to be that way with me. I am always respecting him, no matter what, and he should at least do the same for me too. Now, it does not matter. I no longer will fight with him, I will let God fight this battle..
• Philippines
2 Oct 08
Yes let this pass.. You are a good daughter by doing this. I am sorry about how your dad does this to you but still his your dad and he cared for you when you were young just think of it as a payment for some of the things he spent for you when you were young. Take care my friend..and put a smile on that face of yours.
1 person likes this
@moondancer (7434)
• United States
1 Oct 08
Dear, It sounds like he will never pay you. That is his way of putting you off. Putting you on the defensive. People do that when they are in his shoes and owe money or will not pay and are not going to, they find a reason or make up one to come down on you. If I were you, I know $90. is a lot of money. But I'd wright it off and him and not call or have anything to do with him again. If that is what he owes you then you got off easy. I'd have nothing to do with him. He is causing you more grief and pain over that money than it's worth. If he ever comes up with the money then so be it, I wouldn't count on it. But you shouldn't have to be continously calling and trying to get it from him. If it were me, I'd write it off, and him. I'd just let it go and if he ever showed up with the money I'd tell him thank you and don't ever come around again. But that's just me. There is just too much drama in being around him and too much pain. Know one nees that in their life. There is just too much going on for someone to deal with all of that when life is hard enough. If a parent can not be supportive then be distant. That's what I'd do. And him stealing from you and causing such grief is just too much. That's my advice,For what it's worth dear... you can take it or leave it. Best wishes to you. I do hope you get your money next week.
1 person likes this
@cream97 (29169)
• United States
1 Oct 08
Yes, I respect your advice to this situation. I appreciate what you have done by telling me the right thing to do. That's what I will do.. Even if he pays me or not, I will still move on, regardless. I am tired of even bothering him about it. He knows that he owes me, so it is his responsibility, to pay me back. I will leave him, and it alone. As far as us being buddy, buddy, that can't happen anymore. I will still love him, but the trust is gone.. I don't hate him. I just don't appreciate how he took advantage of me and played me for a fool. Oh, well, that is life, this is not the first time that someone has made me to look like the bad guy.. And the way that he has treated me was very cruel. A father should never curse his daughter out and make her feel bad. That is mot love... You would think that since my mom is deceased, that he will be the one that I can count on, but I guess not.. Anyways, I will continue to live me life, no matter how this story ends..
• United States
1 Oct 08
you go girl, you are obviously a stronger person than he is and a much better person with more morals than he. I trust you will move on and be better for it. That is what I meant as well. I had to do the same from my father too. It seems that many fathers don't know what their role as father really is and how to "play" it. We many of us don't have real fathers in our lives. I never did. I had to put mine out of my life many years ago from him being abusive and cruel to me. I learned to live without him, although I never lost my love for him either. Afteral he was my father. That did not make him a good dad. We do what we must and move on to make our lives better. The very best to you and your family. It's just not worth the hassle you are going through to get what is due you from him. It's a shame that he doesn't live up to his resposibitlities. I do feel for you and know some of what you are feeling, maybe not in the same way but simular. I wish the very best for you on the issue. We have talked about this and many other things as I'm sure we will talk about many more my friend.
1 person likes this