Kiss of Orcus

November 6, 2006 1:57pm CST
I met Ayen back in highschool. She was always shy, alone and I’m not quite sure if she even had friends. I can overhear some of my classmates talked about her. They said she’s somewhat weird, a total nerd and eerily a quiet one. I also learned that she had lost her parents and was living with her grandparents and her older brother. Destiny might have brought us together. I’m into photography and she’s into arts. I was walking then with a cheap camera dangling in my arms. I saw her sitting armored with a charcoal and sketching an old statue. It was wondrous. I smiled at her admiringly and for the first time I saw a smile on her face. We became best of friends since then. She always helps me in our lessons and even does my assignments. She is the smartest in our class. And, she’s too kind. I never saw her complain and she’s always willing to help. It was three weeks before our graduation when she invited me to go to her house. I always asked her before if I could see where she kept her masterpieces. We were walking to her house when she stopped. I looked at her to see her crying. “I will miss you,” she said. “Promise me you wouldn’t leave me.” “I won’t. I‘ll miss you too.” We headed to the back of her house where her room was located. Her grandparents were in the house but they seemed not to give her a damn. When we reached her room, she smiled at me and opened the door. The sight was nothing that I had ever seen before. It was astounding. *** Ayen was four when our parents died. She was with them driving to Cebu when an accident happened. Their car collided with a delivery truck and our parents were killed in that instant. Miraculously, Ayen survived with only a mild head injury and bruises. When the rescuers came, it had been a horrible sight. Ayen was cuddled in our mother’s breast. Her eyes were wide open and she was lying in pool of blood. She never cried when they were buried. I pitied her for what happened. I am ten years ahead of her. It was hard for me to accept the tragedy, but of Ayen’s age back then I know it was the hardest. I never leave her side for I pitied her so much. She had no one to be with, our grandparents were too old. I know her pains and I understand her sufferings. I know it’ll be hard for her to accept that I’ll be marrying Jane. *** She was indeed the most talented and intelligent girl I have ever met. And, it was not surprising that I found myself falling for her. She was shy, simple and had a saintly look. I started courting her when we were in our second year in college and then we became lovers. On one occasion, she showed me a sketch of a man whose eyes exactly looked like mine. “I have drawn this back in highschool. You know, I loved your eyes. They said when you unconsciously sketch a man and you will find someone who looked exactly like it, then he is the one,” she said. Maybe I really am the one for her, but I guess she’s not the one for me. I became sick and tired of her. She’s too nice, too soft-hearted. I found that I don’t love her and that I only pitied her for all that she had suffered. And besides I loved someone else. “I have been calling you. Why don’t you answer your phone?” she asked when I came to her house a month after our anniversary. “I am with Christine.” I said. “I take her for a date.” Ayen sat back on the couch and stared at her hands. “Now what? Wouldn’t you shout back at me? Throw anything at me and despise me? Curse me? What? Will you just sit there and cry?” I yelled. “I’m dating someone else. I’m courting Christine! I don’t love you, I love her. And I’m sorry…but I have to leave you.” “You’re lying. I know…I know you didn’t mean it. I know you’re just tired and…” “F**k!” I screamed. “I’m not lying and yes. Yes, I’m tired. I’m tired of you. I’m tired of us. I don’t love you. I never loved you. I just…I…I love Christine. I’m sorry.” I looked at her eyes. She was looking at me pleadingly. I pitied her. But, everything’s said and done. Yes, I never had loved her. I used her. And, it is best to leave her now than to add more pain to her lingering scars. I headed to the door to leave. It was the worst decision I ever have. *** The man I always loved. I can’t accept that he’ll be leaving me. Those eyes that I always adore were furiously staring at me. Those eyes that had always looked at me with love and tenderness were now gazing at me with resentment and hate. I looked at him beseeching for forgiveness for adoring him so much. His eyes. So beautiful. So divine. But now, he would be leaving me. It pained my heart, almost excruciating to see him go. He started to leave. Then, everything turns to black.*** When the tremor stopped, I am whole again. I was crying but with tears of splendid contentment. Euphoria, that’s it. I thought you would leave me. I’m terrified to lose you. I can’t see you go. But you never leave me, you stayed, my love. You were with me and forever you will be. This is love indeed. We’ll never part. You and me. Forever you will stay. I love you. I looked down at you. Lying on my lap, smiling at me. I tasted your lips and stared at your beloved face and to your eyeless socket that seemed to have an infinite depth. Then I opened my hands. There rested your eyes, your beautiful eyes. Oh, how I loved those, staring at me. So magnificent. So lovely. Tears fell in my own eyes, I felt at ease. I cuddled your body. It was cold as it touched my skin, but with all your blood enveloped in me, caressing me and with our love, I am warm. I felt the undying warmth. I told you we’ll never part. Isn’t this love, my darling? You and me. Only you and me. How I remembered a while ago you were about to leave me. But then love and fate held you back and sent you back to me. How I remembered the way you screamed as I stuck a knife on your neck, as your blood gushed in my hands. How I loved the way you plead me to stop as I delicately pull out your eyeballs from their socket, as your blood burst on my face and all over me. Your blood…too much blood. How I loved you. Isn’t this love? Indeed, this is love. *** I had my groom’s clothe on. For a couple of minutes I will be marrying Jane. I looked around to see my little sister, Ayen, on the door. She was sweetly smiling at me. I reached out my hands for her. She held my hands and kissed them. “I’m happy for you. I love you, Kuya. I’ll always be there for you.” she uttered. “I love you too. And I’ll will always be with you.” I answered. I was found dead afterwards. My hands were cut off. I had fulfilled my promise. *** A pungent odor welcomed me as Ayen opened her bedroom door. As I came in at first, everything seemed blur. I couldn’t figure anything. But for terrifying seconds, every pieces of horror assembled to conclude a sickening terror. Everywhere were glasses containing pairs of ears, eyes, noses and severed limbs. Each part had names attached to it and sketches of how they appeared when they were murdered. Mr. Hepper. He was our teacher in Math who we assumed to have gone to Bohol. Manang Girlie. She was a vendor who treated everyone as her sibling. Everyone thought that a robber killed her. Tipsy. He was the cat that we have found when we were walking home. Ayen adopted him to be her pet. His head was on a table with a drawing next to it. I believed they were less than a dozen or so. I couldn’t find my senses. I wanted to think that this was just a nightmare and I must wake up quick. The door behind me closed. I turn back to see Ayen childishly smiling at her works. Admiring them as if they were treasures. Then she looked at me a smiled timidly. “Aren’t they beautiful?” she asked with a spine-chilling tone of innocence. I couldn’t find my voice at first. I panicked. I thought I had turned mute. I lose control of myself. Then, I screamed, “You’re a….you’re a freak!” She glanced at me with a confused stare. “You’re a lunatic. You’re a crazy mad…psycho…FREAK! You’re a MURDERER!” Then everything became obscure. I could only caught glimpse of agonizing memory of her beating me up with a chair. She left a kiss on my forehead before she traced a scimitar on my head. I could still picture the unbearable moment of pain as she scalped my head off. Yes, I remember now. She had always loved my hair. And now, they were completely hers. *** I realized that I was long dead. But was still here with her. Always will be her best and only friend. Beside me were his handless brother, headless Tipsy and others who had fallen in the same fate as I was. We were here beside her as she cuddled Jan. For a couple of moments or so, he will be joining us. Victims not of Ayen, but of our pledges. Soon, he will be in union with us, watching her as she seek for another specimen who would pretend to understand the unwanted and feigned to love the unloved. Another someone who would hold the hands of Orcus. And, will then suffer the malevolent curse of the kiss of karma.
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