How do you deal with broken promises...
By Lexus656
@Lexus656 (672)
United States
October 10, 2008 8:18am CST
I don't know how you deal with it but I get hurt I mean really hurt. I talked to my boyfriend last night and we're going cmping this weekend and i told him that i wanted him to be here befor eight tonight and he said he would pack his stuff this morning and be here right after work so it would be around five tonight. Now he called me this morning and said that he didn't have time and he was going to have to go back home befor he could come. We've been together for almost two months and he's broken two promises already. I told him not to make promises to me if he couldn't keep them so I dont know how should I deal with it? Should I call him out on it and see what happens or not?
1 person likes this
5 responses
@grammasnook (1871)
• United States
10 Oct 08
Hold on you said he broke a promise? I do not see anything you have written as a broken promise. In fact I see a very responsible man that called you and said plans have changed. I also read that you asked for him to be there before 8 tonight and he said he should be there by 5. Things in life change and I believe that you are being very petty with this. I am thinking you are very young, and blowing things a bit out of porportion.
If he goes home and packs then comes to your home what time will he arrive? Did he tell you a time that you should expect him ?
1 person likes this
@Lexus656 (672)
• United States
10 Oct 08
no he never told me a time to expect him. He will call at 1 and say he's on his way and he will show up 2 hours later so petty no I don't believe so. He knows where I've been and what my ex did to me especially since my ex walked out on me at the hospital having his child. So I maybe a little overboard but I don't think so. If he loves me like he says he does then I think that he would do alot more to help me see that he loves me until i feel comfortable with the relationship.
1 person likes this
@grammasnook (1871)
• United States
10 Oct 08
You are evaluating him as he is your ex. I am sorry your ex did some things to you and that it didnt work. Your ex abandoned you this man has been late. I on many occassions have been somewhere and told my husband I am on my way thinking it is clear to go and had to do a few things before leaving. Being on time proves that he loves you? Did he by any chance tell you why he showed up 2 hours later? Maybe there was a valid reason. 2 months is not a lot of time to get to know someone, if it bothers you that much talk to him. But with him calling you this am to tell you he had to go back home before coming to your home was more than enough time for you to adjust to the change. You said be there by 8pm so therefore if he did agree to be there by that time and is not without a phone call then maybe you would have a bone to pick with him
1 person likes this
@Lexus656 (672)
• United States
10 Oct 08
we discussed it last night that I needed him here befor 8pm since we are going camping and it's a little hard to find firewood and set up a tent ater dark. He is the one who made up the whole idea of him coming straight from work. I never said that by him showing up on time that means he loves me. I think that since we don't see eachother during the week he would be ready to see me on the weekends. But the more I think about it the more crazy it sounds I guess. I know he loves me and last night he told me repetitively that he loves and misses me and cant wait to see me today. I just don't get to see him much so it bothers me.
1 person likes this
@tikei18 (359)
• Philippines
11 Oct 08
Just like my boyfriend. He keeps on promising but he couldn't do it. The first time he made a promise, it was broken. So I'm disappointed and sad.
So when he made a promise the second time. I gave him a chance, unfortunately he did it again. So i told him that, don't make any promises that you're not sure if you can do it. You'll just hurt my feelings. So whenever he made a promise, i'm not expecting him or thinking that he can do it. I would just say, Okay. So that when he broke his promise, i will not be hurt that much.
1 person likes this
@Lexus656 (672)
• United States
13 Oct 08
That's what I do too. We are looking for a house right now and last night he said something about me moving in with him and I was joking around saying that I wasnt going to and he sid I promise I'll have that house by febuary and I said well I'm not going to get excited till I see it and he got upset I think he was a little hurt that I didn't just take his word for it but how can I when I'm not so sure. I just don't want to be hurt anymore.
1 person likes this
@skysuccess (8858)
• Singapore
11 Oct 08
Lexus656,
In the first place, please do not confuse a word given as a promise. A spoken word given out should not be held as a promise to you and it should be treated as a verbal agreement and/or commitment. And as in all spoken verbal agreement and commitment, you should not hold it to heart literally. Why? Simple, humans are imperfect and there will be times things might not work out e.g. last minute changes with work schedule or events and/or some people just cannot fulfill their side of the bargain. I would just ask that you be wary of the latter, for if they cannot fulfill their given word then what is there to expect from him when he promises?
You will need to be fair to your partner here. Did he eventually turn up in time? Was his change of plans valid i.e. work related? Did you really bothered to find out the real reasons? I think we just need to be a little understanding with our judgement. Other than the past 2 times for failing to turn up as spoken, what about the other times? I hope that you remember that we are living in a world of imperfection and that we need to take things with an expectation to happen otherwise. Being mentally prepared you should then have a positive outlook and less hurtful when things change.
You will need to remind yourself to stop bringing up the past to be fair to your partner. I am sure the basic reason that you had chosen the present is simply because he is different from your past. So, for fairness and goodness sake of your relationship I hope that you remember what I have said here.
Take care and have a nice day.
@skysuccess (8858)
• Singapore
13 Oct 08
Lexus656,
As much as I hate to do this, but let me play the devil's advocate here.
If your man cannot fulfill his promise, I doubt there will be much to say about just his given word. I do not see a very bright future with such men, even without the crystal ball here. I would not promise any one especially when I myself find it so hard to live up to my words. However, as a matter of principle I have never failed in my given words.
Perhaps, this is going to be something for you to chew on for this week and reconsider this relationship of yours.
Take care.
@poojakhandelwal (91)
• India
11 Oct 08
it really hurts when we feel the heat of the broken promises .but still it is life there will be your near and dear ones whom you would love but sometimes they make promises and then they break. but just because you love them and you want them.... you cry and ignore that they do such things to you and after that you hope that they wont do that again. but love is love .... you never want to loose that so at times you do deny to your heart that such things have happened to you and you live on.
1 person likes this
@karamellized (680)
• Philippines
11 Oct 08
Oh definitely it would break my heart. I hate it when friends or families break their promises. I feel disappointed but I usually do not tell them or let them know right away because telling them might bring me to tears. I hope you are doing great now. :D
