could you forgive?
October 13, 2008 11:46am CST
could you ever honestly, truely forgive your spouse if they had an affair? Do you believe in 'once a cheater, always a cheater' or 'forgive and forget'? My husband had an affair almost 2 years ago, and since then, I've forgiven him and taken him back. It took a reeeeaaaaalllllly long time for me to completely trust him again and not be worried he'd do it again, but he worked his butt off to prove to me that he can once again be trustworthy. At first, many people told me I was ignorant for taking him back. they told me that once a cheater always a cheater. but now we are as happy as can be. I love my husband very much and there is no concern that he is/will do it again. i have forgiven, although I will never forget. what about you? Do you think you could ever forgive your spouse if they did this to you?
• Sri Lanka
13 Oct 08
I'm sorry to hear your story but happy that you are together. In my case, if my husband does something like that I'll never forget nor forgive him. I'll never ever will be able to trust him. Can you tell me what really happend for him to have another affair? Do you know the reason or did he tell you why? I really don't understand how people get involved when they are alredy in love with one person. Can he love two people at once?
• United States
13 Oct 08
At the time of the affair, our marriage was pretty strained. We had a baby that was only a few months old, as well as another that was almost 2 years old, and couldn't afford child care but couldn't afford me to stay at home with the kids...to make a long story short, He was working 7 am to 4 pm and I was working 5 pm to midnight, so we didn't see a lot of each other. Whilst I don't know what was going on in his head, I think he was just lonely and looking for companionship. After our separation, he left the other woman and was single for a while. As hard as it was for me at times, he and I were civil to one another during this time due to the fact we have children together. At one point he had told me that he thought he wasn't in love with me anymore, but after time apart, realized he did more than anything and he didn't love that other woman at all.
13 Oct 08
i was thinking about this myself the other day and i came to the conclusion that as much as i would really want to forgive the person i wouldn't be able to because i know what they are capable of, my trust and respect for them would have rapidly dropped and i don't think things would ever be the same again if we stayed together.