Angry about the way my sister is drawing attention!

October 16, 2008 7:58am CST
Yesterday, my sister called me. When I asked her about her children, she began her "oh my son has got autism, do you know what that means to me" thing. My sis has got epilepsy from the age of 10, and that has had a big influence on her life, and the life of my family. At this young age my sister noticed she could get attention from talking about her epilepsy. But, the result is only temporarly, she didn't make any real friends and a lot of people thought she was "weird" and scary because of her epilepsy (she told them all the bad things). A few years ago, she got good medication, and she rarely had attacks. She soon got pregnant and had her son. Then got married, and then got sick. It was something with her liver, and when she talks about it now, the story gets worser and worser. She got better and had another child, a girl. The eyeposition of the baby was not OK (this was clearly visible), so she got surgery. The next few years my sister was telling everybody her daughter was nearly blind and nearly had to go to special education because of her handicap. But her daughter was doing everything, just had glasses and a plaster on her eye my sister always places when other people are around. When her daughter went to the regular school, my sister just ignored people who asked her about the being nearly blind. In the meanwhile my nephew wasn't doing good at school. My sister was talking about possible learning difficulties he could have because of her epilepsy (which the doctors all told her there wouldn't be) at school, so I think this might have focused the school on little things they saw. He went to special education and is performing very well. But my sister is having problems with him and thus wanted to know what's wrong with him. So after a long way through doctors, hospital and psychologist, they've diagnosed him with autism in a very light form. Again: nobody sees anything of the behavior she's telling everybody that he does at home. Her husband just says: It's her bussiness, she knows her way with all these medics and so on. So now, my sisters calling me and again tells me all about the negative things about her boy.... It's so frustrating: I want to enjoy stories about my little relatives, I want her to enjoy her children and I want her to show her children she's got trust in the things they can do. This is so bad for my nephew and his sister! One of the things that also frustrates me is that I'm almost a child psychologist and with what I see in practice and what I see with the children with my sister, she's just so lucky with these two lovely kids! But when I talk about that, she's ignoring it. Well, it's al long story, but I've told what's bothering me. I hope anyone has got some suggestions?
1 response
16 Oct 08
Some people thrive on negative attention and nothing you say or do will change that. She is ignoring things you talk about because she doesn't care. She is just wrapped up in her own little world. You could tell her this bothers you and see what she says. Maybe, just maybe, she doesn't realize she is doing this. Anything is worth a shot! Good luck.
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16 Oct 08
Yes, you're right. I've talked to her a lot of times about her only talking about her epilepsy when we were both a lot younger, and then I was still her "little" sister. Now maybe she can realize what she's doing because she might be more open to it. But I guess you're right and I should not have to big expectations, because she really doesn't know how to do without the negative attention. Thanks for your reply, I'm gonna talk to her about it, maybe it'll help?!
16 Oct 08
I wish you all the luck humanly possible. No one needs to deal with constant negativity.