Teenage cousin may be moving in...

@aconner (218)
United States
October 24, 2008 2:55pm CST
Well my younger cousin will be turning 17 in December. He's ready to move out and in with us. He's a very well behaved boy, responsible, never been in much trouble at all. He is currently working almost full time and going to school making all A's & B's. His boss loves him, says he's the best worker he's had and offers him as many hours as he wants. He pays his bills on time (scooter payment, and cell phone). His mom is EXTREMELY clingy and I know she'll be upset when he moves out and in with my husband and I but she treats him terribly. Let me explain... The mom doesn't work AT ALL. She refuses to get a job. There is one other child that is 8 years old. She makes the older cousin (that wants to move in with me) take care of him hand and foot. Pick out his clothes, fix his dinner, poor him something to drink, do his chores, etc. Now I do understand that kids have to learn to be responsible and assist in helping siblings but some things she asks him to do are a bit over board. I do have respect for stay at home mothers but she's not one that I have respect for and here's why... she sits on the computer playing games all day or watching tv... if chores get done around the house, my cousin is the one that does them. He never does anything right... I'll elaborate on this a bit. He works at a grocery store and he gets free food a lot... you know the ones that are too out of date to sale but still ok to eat pretty quickly. Well his family is on food stamps so he thought they had plenty of money for food. Well his neighbors aren't and they have 3 kids and they were struggling at the time. So he took the food over to them. He felt good about himself for doing something nice for someone else and was telling his mom what he had done... SHE YELLED AT HIM because he gave it to them instead of bringing it home to them. She called him selfish... is that not ridiculous. My concerns are this... how do I deal with his family (my "aunt" and uncle) when they get upset because I allowed him to move in with me. I won't abuse it or allow him to go wild. He will not be paying anything as long as he's going to school and making good grades. He'll have a curfew and the usual teenage rules. My husband and I have already discussed the rule of if his grades decrease because of his job... of course school will come first but I don't think we'll have this problem. Any tips on any of this?
1 person likes this
2 responses
skysuccess
@skysuccess (8858)
• Singapore
25 Oct 08
aconner, I assume that your cousin is staying for good at your place and you are concern about his parents especially his mother's feelings. I think as parents, they would be aware of this situation and would not have let him move out if they had not nod their heads in approval over this matter. I felt that if that is so, you should just start preparing for his arrival and lay out some house rules so as to avoid any misunderstandings in the future. I do not think this has or anything to affect their family's relationships and could be a blessing in disguise for the innate mother. I would also suppose that you will allow him to visit his parents every now and then, which I am sure any guardian would look approvingly in this aspect. I would just lay this as it is and adapt accordingly when the time comes, we simply cannot be thinking too far ahead.
aconner
@aconner (218)
• United States
25 Oct 08
Yes most definitely he would be aloud to visit anyone he'd like, as far as that goes I'm not going to keep him from people that he wants to see especially his parents. Yes, I'm hoping it will be blessing in disguise.
skysuccess
@skysuccess (8858)
• Singapore
25 Oct 08
aconner, I assume that your cousin is staying for good at your place and you are concern about his parents especially his mother's feelings. I think as parents, they would be aware of this situation and would not have let him move out if they had not nod their heads in approval over this matter. I felt that if that is so, you should just start preparing for his arrival and lay out some house rules so as to avoid any misunderstandings in the future. I do not think this has or anything to affect their family's relationships and could be a blessing in disguise for the innate mother. I would also suppose that you will allow him to visit his parents every now and then, which I am sure any guardian would look approvingly in this aspect. I would just lay this as it is and adapt accordingly when the time comes, we simply cannot be thinking too far ahead. Take care.