Test of companionship.....
October 27, 2008 8:50am CST
A good companion will tell all the strengths and weaknesses of his/her companions. He/she will notice at the very first all the things they like and don't like about their companions. Being frank, for me doesn't mean an insensitivity toward others, instead, it will impose a deep concern for them. I am looking at the positive side of being frank, and not on its negative side. Being frank may have similarities with comparing ourselves with other which will make us inferior or superior. A frank person may be a perfectionist one. He/she doesn't want to get wrong with his/her actions. And for this frank person, he/she will exactly tell his/her companions what does he/she feels for them. Being frank differs from being tactless in some aspects like the words a frank person utters than a tactless person says. But, it doesn't mean that a frank person is an insensitive one who totally doesn't feel what others feel. He/she is just telling his/her companions his/her concerns and feelings. Telling of feelings and concerns is the real essence of being frank, not to degrade other people's personalities, and most of all, not to discriminate them. It will also serve as a bridge for them to notice their strengths and weaknesses and to improve their personalities. It doesn't impose an arrogance, but care for others. It doesn't mean that you can be a good companion by just shutting up your mouth even though there is something wrong with your companions. As I said, a good companion can be seen by being frank or telling others what's wrong with them. If you cannot do it right away, you can stay away from them until they will notice that you are ignoring them, and you will definitely tell them the reason behind staying away from them. For example, you have a companion who has a very low cognitive capacity, and yet, he/she doesn't value his/her studies, and you have already noticed that before. What will you tell him/her? You would probably tell him/her honestly and frankly that you don't like his/her performance in school, and he/she will find out that he/she poorly performs, and will definitely thankful to you for being honest and frank with your feelings for him/her. And in that situation of being frank, where is the statement of arrogance there? You just stated out the mere fact that he/she poorly performs his/her job as a student, and nothing is wrong with that statement. Actions speak louder than voice. Sometimes, being frank is done through actions. Take a look at this instance: You have a companion or classmate who has a very low reflexes, incapable of doing hard things or disable. One day, you were asked to do a study report with this person as a partner. You only asked him/her to do some researches, but you did the editing of the entire report, the visual aids and the hard copy of the report. And when the time of presentation came, you were ready to present the report without the knowledge of your partner, and the teacher wasn't around to supervise the entire report, and you were running out of time for the next reporters must have to present their reports the same day. What will you do? Of course, you will be the first one to do an action. You will probably present the report by yourself and later ask him/her to finance all the expenses of the report like visual aids and the hard copy. There's nothing wrong with that. And the positivity of that action is you will look it as a care for your partner especially you have known from the start that he/she is incapable of speaking in front of you classmates or audience. You will exactly look at the side that he/she may look ignorant speaking in front of your classmates, and later on, after the delivery of report, you will realized that nobody understood your report, just because you gave him/her the chance to speak even though that he/she is incapable of speaking moderately, and this person must be thankful to his/her partner for giving him/her a lighter task than speaking in front of audience. In this situation, being frank may be done through dominance toward others whom you think are incapable. And I hope for those sensitive persons to find out those things that irritates your companions or makes them stay away from you or ignores you. Ask them in a moderate voice and they will definitely answer you honestly and frankly, and that will be the time for you to change your personality.