Failing as a daughter

United States
October 27, 2008 9:58am CST
I feel bad today. Yesterday I tried to help my mother prepare food for my parents' small group ministry. Everytime I tried to help my mother with something i ended up doing wrong. It got so bad, that I decided to stay in my room for ten minutes to recollect myself. I was mad enogh to throw a fit and embarass her in front of her friends. But when I rethought about the situation, I ended up looking like the foolish one. I feel like i fail my mother as a daughter. Nothing I seem to do anyhmore pleases her. I hace found though you can't please people. You can only please yourself. As a daughter, I should try to be myself and if my best doesn't meet her standards, then I guess that's her problem.
4 responses
• Philippines
31 Oct 08
don't be too hard on yourself..we all commit mistakes and i believe that only our mothers can actually love us after everything just say sorry to your mom if she's mad at you or something..but if she's not then just make it up to her in some other way..
@stryker5 (52)
• United States
29 Oct 08
My mother-in-law, who might as well be my mom, makes me feel the same way. Regardless of what I do, she always seems to find something wrong with it. My house is never clean enough, my make-up is to dark, etc... Yes, it makes me feel inadequate and angry enough to throw a fit but, I always have to take a step back. Finally, I realized that she is not really criticizing me she is just trying to give pointers. The problems is the way she does it makes me feel like a disappointment. I finally, got the nerve to tell her how she makes me feel sometimes and she didn't realize that she was making me feel that way. Maybe you should try talking to your mom. Watch how you approach it though, so it doesn't come off as you attacking her in some way.
• Indonesia
28 Oct 08
im sorry to hear it janelle777..i know how it feels coz im a daughter too. n yes, as long as uve tried to do ur best 4 her, which im sure uve done it sincerely, if it still doesnt meet her standard then its her problem. have u ever talk about this to her n find the problem solving together ? coz however, a mom is a mom and a daughter is a daughter, those relationship wont break easily..=) we as a daughter can only do the best for her, n wish that she will respect our try =)
@jonesy123 (3950)
• United States
27 Oct 08
You are at an age where you pretty much can make your own decisions and move out whenever you want to. You probably have a certain level of independence as well. It's hard for a mother to acknowledge that a child has grown up, is an adult and therefore out of the range of their parental control. Criticizing you is a way of dealing with that emotion as in a way your mother still can gain some control over you and your behavior, assert that she is still the mother and you are just a child. This is apparently something important to her especially in front of her friends. And no, you didn't fail her. It's just part of the separation process. Even if your way is a better way of doing things, you mom right now just cannot acknowledge that she is not the one teaching you anymore. Some parents never outgrow this stage. Heck, I'm the youngest of three. I'm about to be 40, have three kids of my own, but at home I'm still the baby not capable of doing anything, the one who has to be sheltered, lol. No, you definitely did not fail your mom. In fact, you remained calm where others would have blown up. You in fact probably make your mom very proud, which explains her behavior even more.