kids

United States
November 4, 2008 10:32pm CST
Do you ever get so frustrated with your teenage kids that you send yourself to your room? My kids just frustrate me sometimes so bad that I send myself to my room, so that I can just get a break and think before I yell at them. I don't get it they know if they do homework and chores then they get to do the things that they want to do with in reason. If they don't then they get nothing. Yet, I have to keep reminding them so that they will do it and get things. I don't like to punish them but it's like they want me too. Why? And, how do I get them to do things with out keep asking them too? I have tried calendars, and all kinds of things that are suppose to work. What am I doing wrong? Any clues?
3 people like this
8 responses
@CanadaGal (4304)
• Canada
6 Nov 08
Teenagers are a species unto themselves. Their brains are still forming, and don't "get" a lot of things. Granted, I know some adults with similar afflictions. My sons aren't near the teen years yet (they're 7, 7 and 9), but I put myself in my room away from them sometimes as well. I tell them I'm going on a "time out". The original rule states one minute for every year of age... so I tell them to leave me alone for 35 minutes if they know what's best for them.
@Rainegurl (2158)
• Philippines
6 Nov 08
hi, carpathian. when i was a teenager and whenever i misbehaved then, my mother would confront me. she had no problem showing her anger and telling me that she is sooo sooo disappointed with me. then she would not talk to me for days. it always worked. with me, anyway. because i would then try very hard to be "good". i do not think you are doing anything wrong, friend. it's just that maybe you are not able to get your message across. take care, friend and take it easy. have a nice day!
@Ithink (10501)
• United States
6 Nov 08
Oh yes! I do the same. Now days it isnt to bad thou. Only have 4 of our own left. My son, who is 13 does his without reminding as he is into sports and knows you fail and there goes the sports. My biggest problem is when I say enough, when they keep talking and trying to get their point across they just keep going. That really upsets me. Just tonight our 16 year old pulled it. I told her one more word no computer time! That shut her up! LOL! All kids are so different you just have to find the button to push so that they will do what they are told. I also told them Im not the one that will be in such and such grade again if you dont do your homework. I let that one stick to, if they dont do homework or at least try (really try) they know they will be in the same grade again. My job is to help, not nag all night and have them ignore me. I refuse to do it for them or beg them to do it. As teens it is time for them to start being responsible for what they need to do. I dont think you are doing anything wrong thou, teens are just trying!
• United States
6 Nov 08
I understand your frustration. I myself have a pre-teen that is going through hormonal changes. I sometime wonder; maybe I should make a tape recording of all the chores he needs to complete, and play them in his sleep. Honestly it is like talking to a brick wall; getting him to do his chores. When I try to explain the necessity of chores; whether he want to do them or not he give me this look of confusion. Eventually if I repeat it enough times the chores get done, but there must be a better way.
• United States
6 Nov 08
Ahhh, teens, got to love them. (or not) I take breaks into my room also, my room is private, way off limits (even to my hubby...lol) My son is 19 now but still lives at home (he is bi-polar) and he knows the rules because I set them when he was quite young. Don't want to do chores, fine, I do them and then I get the pay for doing it. Don't want to clean your room, fine, I will do it and it just cost him 25.00. He gets 100.00 a month for helping out, but if he doesn't do something, oops, my pocket just more cash into it. Now, guess what...he cleans his own room, takes out the garbage and does his own laundry. Now, the mouth...well, he is a young adult and as long as he is respectful I don't really care. (heck, he learned all those delightful words from dad and his friends...and yes, me too) So my suggestion...they get an allowance? Let them know straight out that for every chore you have to do, you get a percentage of it, just like if they had a job, they would lose pay for that day. And yell away, but yell goofy stuff as your doing the work or sing a song, "I just made ten bucks, wahoo...Now I can go to the movies, or something like that." It will make them think twice if you come home with something nice from the money they would have earned if they had did it themselves. Good luck
@AmbiePam (49887)
• United States
5 Nov 08
When my parents got frustrated with me, they would make me stay OUT of my room. I never wanted to be around anyone, so as punishment they would make me come out and interact with the family. I think I was a messed up kid. I'm only slightly messed up today, lol. I know it's a serious issue, I'm just trying to let you know that you're doing a good job, and sometimes teenagers that drive us wild turn out to be pretty darn good adults. Thanks to parents like you who care.
@sunshine4 (8709)
• United States
5 Nov 08
I do know what you mean about being frustrated and wanting to go away from the situation. My problem is my teens would follow me to my room and keep talking to me! Honestly, I have no problems with my teenage boys. They are responsible to do their school work, they both have part time jobs, and they participate in sports. If the grades start slacking, the sports go. They know this so I have no problems with them keeping up their grades and balancing their schedules.
@ANTIQUELADY (36488)
• United States
5 Nov 08
i am so glad my sons are grown. they can sure be trying when they are teenagers, they turned out good & yours will to i'm sure. i did everything, grounded them, made them stay home, threatened their lives, yelled screamed, you name it. lol. i did it all. u just have to be strong & let them know that what u say goes. are u raising them alone. i did mine & when it's just u to make the rules it gets rough. i wish u alot of luck. just always let them know u love them no matter what.