it's ok to hate your boyfriend's ex?

Malaysia
November 5, 2008 10:19pm CST
i dont know my feeling right now, today i meet my boyfriend's ex when i'm having lunch with my boyfriend's. The ex girlfriend's say hi to both of us and talk with my boy friends for a while.. i see both of them still very friendly and good to each other which make me not feeling good. I just hate her... Do you ever have this feeling to your boyfriend's ex?
1 person likes this
3 responses
@cathya (705)
• Philippines
6 Nov 08
if you really love your boyfriend i guess you have to trust him, for sure he did not court you for nothing... be optimistic... probably your boyfriend and his ex' are just mature enough to accept and understand that they are not meant to be grow up girl, be proud you are now part of his present and future and she's just part of the past... cheers!!
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
6 Nov 08
Cathya, i really love my boyfriend, but you know sometimes we cannot escape from suspicious our boyfriend. do you? i trust my boyfriend but after meeting her ex girfriend i feel not secure :-(
1 person likes this
@skysuccess (8882)
• Singapore
6 Nov 08
sweetaryna, Perhaps we should always look back upon the reason why Love blossomed in the first place. Surely when the relationship was formed, your Love was pristine. Real love stands adamantly like a rock, for those that sway are but pebbles. When our relationship fails, instead of allocating blame in our external environment, perhaps we must always introspect and look at ourselves first. We are not perfect either. And we are but imperfect being trying to perfect our relationship. I can see this rage and jealousy eating you up slowly and it is beginning to have a negative flow setting into the both of you. You may say that it is just a spur of the moment but I just hope that you will start by being honest with yourself. Do you ever think that the both of them could be possible again? Or is your misjudgment and irrationality overtaken your sense of logic here? Still not convinced? Then, may I suggest that you probably need to first trash out all the unspoken thoughts and feelings you have when you were assailed with thoughts of abandonment by him at the presumption of yours. For the trashing session to be effectively, you would need to release everything completely - so drop all motes of rationality, regardless of how unreasonable you think you would be; just open floodgate and release. Then after laying down everything, clarify what you need to and mend your relationship by forging new cause and direction. Sometimes in Love, appeasing the mind is not enough - your heart might need some comfort and assuring. P.S: Latent effect can be destructive. You might just end up losing your man if you continue in this manner; might as well learn to create a new path by transgressing status quo and advance forward. Just hoping that my $0.02 worth, would be of help here. Take care.
• Malaysia
6 Nov 08
Sometimes i was thinking, why should i hate her,she doing nothing to me.Skysuccess, you are right,it's just that i am a bit jeoalous of her because she's preety an smart.i really dont know why she broke up with my boyfriend now because i never ask my boyfriend the reason why he broke up with her. well, i agree with you, it's not worth making myself feel bad over her, i dont see that my boyfriend would come back to her,not right know..i hope.. Thank you for your advise here...
1 person likes this
• Singapore
6 Nov 08
sweetaryna, Just remind yourself here, that what matters most now is between the both of you and nothing else. Your boyfriend's ex is a past and history, today it is all about you that he is falling in love with and for. If you are still unable to convince yourself then talk it out like grown adults as above. I know how you feel sometimes, it is either you take a backseat and let time prove it to you or just take a step forward. It's really up to you and you alone. Thanks for the BR though and hope that the both of you will work out. Take care and have a nice day.
• Philippines
7 Nov 08
hate is one of the things you really can't control. this only means that you so love your boyfriend that is why you hate his ex. however, i hope you'll learn to accept that an ex is an ex.