Why did she do this???

United States
November 8, 2008 9:41pm CST
My mother called the police and sent them to my house to check on me because I have not spoken to her on the telephone in a few days. She and I are not very close. In fact, there are times when I do not answer the phone when she calls because she is always talking about people behind their backs and complaining about something. The police officer was here not too long ago. And he was speaking so loudly outside at first until my husband invited him in-- saying that my mother called them, about me being pregnant, and he said my name so many times. It was really embarassing. I know everyone in the section of our apt. heard him. I even saw a neighbor peeking out their window. I have moved to a new city, but before I lived about 15 min. away from my parents. But they never visited, I always visited them like every weekend, and I always called too. I don't know why she would have done such a thing to me. I'm a married woman, and I'm starting a family of my own. My mother did the same thing to my sister. My sister lived in a different town, and when she did not answer her phone whenever she caled, she would call the police to check on her. She did it like every other week. I'm just so angry that she would send the police to my house because she hasn't talked to me on the phone in just a few days. Like I said, we're not close like that, so I'm really confused. Whenever I do talk to her, she has nothing good to say. She never even asks me how I'm doing or anything.
3 people like this
14 responses
@SketcherD (1114)
• Canada
9 Nov 08
I am sorry you do not have a close relationship with your Mom. My Mom and I are very close to each other. I have heard of Moms calling the police to check on their children but I don't understand it. I guess she was just scared that something had happened to you. I am really surprised that the police agreed to do this though. It seems very strange to me.
• India
9 Nov 08
I dont know what to say about it, probably she is a little worried about you, but she shouldn't have called the police.
1 person likes this
@SketcherD (1114)
• Canada
10 Nov 08
Perhaps calling the police was a bit overboard. She could have called a family member to check on you.
• Philippines
9 Nov 08
I am sorry to know about your situation. Like what the first responder said, you and your mother doesn't have a good mother-daughter relationship. Maybe because you and your mother have differences. She must've been bitter to anyone that she doesn't like and I guess you are the opposite. Maybe she had a bad childhood upbringing in the past, which may be full of hatred, envy, passion or so. She's not the only one doing it to you, some mothers can do that to their daughter/s even if they've already grown up and have a family of their own. Oftentimes a mother may try to meddle with her daughter's personal life by bugging her and disturbing her family. Seems like your mother couldn't accept the fact that you are living independently with your family and she is bothered of being alone, maybe resentful of you and your sister or something. But I hate the part that she sends the police to your house to check on you, why wouldn't she just pay you a visit instead? That is not nice (the police issue). You need to talk to your mother about this problem, she should say something reasonable as to why she did it. If your mother tells you that she misses you and your sister because you two have been away from her, she must be bothered because you never called her on the phone to say hello. There must be some affection that she feels about you as her daughter. If I were you, I would seriously confront her about this and make it clear to her that I am doing fine and I was just too busy taking care of my family and barely have time to call her. Of course I would even tell her that sending the police officer to my house is a bad idea, because the confrontation (like what happened to you) is making my family and the neighbors feel like there's a crime scene going on at my residence. A mother like her could be troublesome and sometimes gives a pain in the azz. How I wish she should have a little understanding and patience to deal with the people around her. But she is still a mother, imperfect yet a loving parent for as long as she lives.
• United States
9 Nov 08
Thanks a lot for your answer. I kind of feel like it was out of concern, but I don't know if that's entirely true. It's only been a week. I grew up in a real bad situation, I left the house as soon as I could. I don't let it affect the way I behave to this day though. Like I said, she did the same thing to my sister all the time. It seemed like she would send the police to her house if she didn't speak to her even if it was only a few days. I live 200 miles away from them, we just recently moved. I don't see them visitng me ever. We lived 15 min away prev., and they never visited. I already know for a fact that there are timnes when I may not talk to my mom every week. Especially with me expecting, and then having to resume working again. She should understand that I may be preoccupied or something. Or honestly, maybe I just don't feel like talking. I guess she has to understand that I have a life and family of my own, and that I don't need her to be so concerned. I'm still so angry. I try not to be, but we're not used to having the police come to our house like that. We didn't know what was going on at first.
1 person likes this
@twoey68 (13651)
• United States
9 Nov 08
Well, that is weird b/c if she was that worried about you you'd think she'd be calling more to check up on you although she may have had a bad dream about you, seen something bad on the news and thought she should check on you or something like that. With all the horrible things going on it's not a bad idea to have someone check on someone if you don't hear from them for awhile. It's always embarrassing to have the police show up at your door but better safe then sorry. If it was me, I'd talk to her about every three days and tell her if you don't hear from me at least every five days then have someone check to make sure everythigs allright. [b]~~MY OWN PEACE WITHIN~~ **STAND STRONG AND BELIEVE IN YOURSELF**[/b]
1 person likes this
• United States
9 Nov 08
I really don't need anyone to check up on me. I don't know what she thinks is going on. She did the same thing to my sister several times. There was never anything wrong with my sister. My mom would get angry because she had been calling my sister and for whatever reason she had chosen not to call back right away. Now I know how she must've felt. But I never thought in a million years that she would do the same thing to me.
1 person likes this
@rocketj1 (6960)
• United States
9 Nov 08
It sounds like she has a control issue. She likes to be in charge somehow of your life. It sounds like a message she is sending to you. "Pay attention to me or I will make you pay attention to me!" Or she could be jealous of you in some way. Jealous people love to stir up problems for the people they are jealous of. Some people are not close to their children because of this jealousy. They are extremely immature and narcissistic. Whatever the reason, I hope that the police officers catch on to her antics very quickly.
1 person likes this
• United States
9 Nov 08
I didn't think of it that way, but I think you may be right. She used to do the same thing to my sister when she moved away all the time!
1 person likes this
• United States
9 Nov 08
Me and my mom don't always get along so well, although she helps me out alot. We used to get into arguments all the time and she has called the cops on me more then once. She has called the police on me before just on the word of my ex boyfriend. She was not even over at my house when that incedent occured. I was walking down the street to cool off and the cops pulled up and told me that my mother had called them because I had an argument going on at home. Tha made me furious that she would insert herself into my business, and call the cops on ME (not my ex), when she wasn't even there. Parents can be soooooo trying sometimes!
1 person likes this
@anujs007 (98)
• India
9 Nov 08
sorry to hear your mom acted this way..maybe she was worried for you or just wanted your attention. Still i feel this was the wrong way...she could have asked someone to come over or visited you personally instead.But as you said,she isnt very close to you. Well,i hope things work out for you..and dont feel embarrased..you didnt do anything wrong. Take care..and hope you feel better soon.:)
1 person likes this
@anujs007 (98)
• India
9 Nov 08
sorry to hear about all this....maybe your mom wanted to get your attention or just wanted to make sure you are fine and everything is okay for you. Sometimes mom's do get worried..but this was a bit of a extreme.I mean,she didnt have to call the cops or anything,She could have asked someone or visited you personally.But as you said she isnt close to you. I hope though you feel okay and dont feel embarrased.You didnt do anything wrong after all. Take care..and hope things work out with you and your mother.:)
@carmela0210 (1591)
• Philippines
9 Nov 08
im sorry to know that!!maybe she is just concern with you and youre family, why not talk to her, maybe you two are just lacking communication...try to reach her, maybe she keeps on talking about other people because you never open up on her, some are like that!!same way here, i used to be mad at my mom, when i didnt texted or call them because i dont have prepaid or dont have time they wont call or text on me, they would ask my officemate instead, im really embarrassed about it, because my co workers are thinking that i eloped with a guy or im pregnant thats why im ignoring my family, but its not i just dont have time, and when i go home to my boarding house i usually sleep because of tiredness...but after we talked and assured them im ok and im doing fine just dont have time, our relationship came ok again!!happy lotting...
@YoungInLove (1254)
• Canada
18 Nov 08
Can she get in trouble for that? I mean shes wasting a police officers time, he could be doing so much better things with his time, dealing with issues that are more worth it? You know how people ar echarged for false alarms when it comes to fires? and stuff? That would teach her, shes being rediculous. I think thats kinda crazy really, the cops must really hate her.
• China
10 Nov 08
though your mother done something wrong,think it over if you do not have mother,then how will you feel?you will feel so sad.
@4mymak (1796)
• Malaysia
10 Nov 08
wow.. that is really embarassing.. plus annoying, i would say.. i would've panicked if police came to my home looking for me.. i guess, your mom has a 'funny' way of showing how much she loves you.. she must really worry about you, or i dont think she would send the police to check on you.. i know that you have a husband and going to start your own family - but i guess, she just worries about you.. and actually really, really cares about your well-being.. especially when you've moved to a different town. maybe i would be a good idea to make a 'routine phonecall' to her just to "hi! i'm fine, the baby's fine, we are all fine, bye!"..
@Shar1979 (2723)
• United States
9 Nov 08
I'm sorry that you and your mom aren't really close to each other. Maybe she's just worried about you or she must have dreamt something bad yet she dont want to lower her pride so she just called the police.
@lingli_78 (12845)
• Australia
9 Nov 08
i am so sorry that your mum do something like that to you... that is so unthinkable to me as well and i don't know why she would have done that to you because you are a married woman... anyway, i think you have to have a serious chat with her and let her know honestly how you feel about what she is doing to you... she might not realise that what she done to you is hurting you and still treats you like her baby... good luck... take care and have a nice day...
@gauthami (137)
• New Zealand
9 Nov 08
Crazy poor mother ...she loves u a lot...but she is little crazy abt her behaviour.she might have worried abt u not picking the call and stuff..its ok one thing i want to say dont miss ur mom