Do you both talk?

New Zealand
November 13, 2008 5:12am CST
For five years, my partner and I have been living in our home, we bought four years ago...Whilst dating before we started living together, things seemed normal...In the first year, I noticed the changes with my partner and found out a few things about him, that I did not know before we started living together...example : three years living together and I found out he suffered from Epilepsy...He had a seizure one day, and thats how I found out!...He never mentioned it to me, cos' he said 'why?...so you can leave me too!'...So I left it at that, cos' I loved him and still do!...Every year something new comes up and this year...The conversation between us two, is just not there!...Everytime I try to start a conversation, he just ignores me!...Sometimes cut-throat when he is too tired...He never acknowledges me when he enters the house and I dont dare look at him when he enters, as it hurts when he ignores me and walks inside...What hurts the most, is watching him DEAD for me and come alive for other's!...He is sleeping now and thats what I get...If someone was to walk in our home now, he would rise, make an excuse to the visitor, why he was sleeping, then off goes his mouth!...You cannot stop it!...Thats fine and I love it!...But as soon as the visitor leaves, he will assume the previous position and sleep...Do you think conversation is important?...If not...Why?...If so, I would love to hear.
4 responses
• China
14 Nov 08
I think you may find what he is interest in and talk about with him, then talk about the question
• New Zealand
14 Nov 08
Yes Sunny7758521, Talk about him and you cannot shut him up!...hehe...My friends say he is very 'cut throat' and sometimes they wonder if 'he is on the same planet as us!'...He suffers from Epilepsy and most of his reclusive behaviour occurs after he has had a seizure...When I try to address the problem, he denys my observation and basically tells me 'I dont know what I am talking about!'...But all his 'distant' behaviour appeared once his Epilepsy was brought to my attention...He loves me because he told me this morning ( yay!!! ) through advise from another MyLot member...I will be posting messages everywhere now!...hehe...Thank Sunny
• China
14 Nov 08
er..no common interests for sharing might result in no talks between you spouse.i guess it is time tried your best to break the underlying barriers .take care !
• New Zealand
14 Nov 08
Thank you Willie_guo, I thought we had alot in common and like I told my John...When we first started dating, he shouldn't have made out, he was something he wasn't...I am very 'family orientated', where he is not...We do share interest together and I am trying to break the barriers he has built up, his entire life...My family always talk, kiss, bond, where his does not...My kids probably see their uncles and aunties from their Dad's side once a year and thats Christmas Day...My brothers and sisters, their kids, I see at least two to three times a week and we live an hour's drive out of Auckland city...Family bonding is important to myself and my siblings...John cannot see the importance...Thank you Willie and Happy MyLotting!
@deedeehall (1144)
• United States
13 Nov 08
sounds like some thing really is wrong does he still care about you if not why dont he tell you? i do think people need to talk my husbsnd and i do not talk near enough it really can be a problem.
@Rachelce (19)
• Australia
14 Nov 08
Conversation is one of the backbones of a realtionship. You have to love the conversations you have with r partner, otherwise what do you do together...Thats what a relationship is...BEING with the person. And ENOYING being with that person. It sound like he doesnt even do anything at all with you. Maybe you should tell him how you feel. I know that it might end up in a fight but atleast thats wen he'll be talking. Maybe you'll find out that he feels the same as you.
• New Zealand
14 Nov 08
Hi there Rachelce, Thank you for your response...I believe conversation is a major part of a relationship and I beleive its healthy...I enjoy being around him but he just has so much going on with his job, he tends to forget I exist...Ranting and raving just causes me tears and I think he has seen me cry, way too many times...I do tell him and have given him many chances to 'run for his life' but he says he knows where he wants to be and thats with me and our kids...He tells me he has never been a 'kissy cuddly guy' but I truly thought, in time, he would learn...I dont bother anymore, but am trying a new approach today, that was suggested by a MyLot member...You are right...Conversation is the BACKBONE of a relationship...Happy MyLotting