Last night i cried myself to sleep...
November 21, 2008 7:25am CST
Title says it really. Generally on a normal night i have a phone call to my boyfriend just before i go to sleep, but mid-conversation i got this deep sinking feeling, and all i could think was oh no.. i know how this night is going to end- me getting upset- ending the conversation and then texting my boyfriend after what was wrong- (I'm not such a good talker-but typing etc i can do...) And as expected, thats what happened. Usually i get upset and i get over it, but i couldnt shake the feeling last night. I began sobbing to a point where i needed some attention from someone i trusted, aka my boyfriend, so i re-rung him, at... 1:45 in the morning maybe? (Don't worry i'm not an attention seeker... i just felt so lonely...) I began talking to him, and crying down the phone... the thing is though, i guess i kind of figured out what had triggered it this time, but it was something so minor- (It was the fact i knew my boyfriend was tired and i wasnt ready to get off the phone yet...)- But then, the crying- was for no reason at all. I couldnt understand why i was sobbing so much and aching inside. It was like my heart had been broken and i just wanted to fall into a black hole. So yeah, last night... i cried myself to sleep. How about you? How was your night? Good? Bad? Were you particularly unhappy? For no reason at all? Share.- I don't judge. (P.S. I'm SOooo tired). XD We all get lonely sometimes, we all feel down at some point- it's feeling like it without a reason that bothers me the most though. ...... So.... .... You?
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Nov 08
I had a rough day yesterday in general. I was in some type of blah mood. I haven't seen my boyfriend in over a month. I thought he was not coming back, and we were broke up. Yesterday we had this long discussion, and he said he is planning to come back, he just has to get some things taken care of with his children (which are grown). I just don't understand how he would tell me he would only be gone for two weeks, and then he just kept extending it until I thought he wasn't coming back. Then now, all of the sudden he says he really didn't want to break up. He is just trying to straighten things out. I guess I should understand, but to me it just feels like I will always be the last person on his list. It was different when they were younger, I tried to understand. But if they can't except him for who he is by now, they never are. Oh, sorry to ramble on like that. But I had been crying so much and upset. Then yesterday I guess my body just shut down and said I don't want to think about it anymore. Just a day off for my body. I just sat and stared at the tv all day. It was really weird. I even fell asleep sitting in the chair about 10 o'clock. I was just blah. Hopefully you and I will both have a better day today!
• United Kingdom
21 Nov 08
Haha no it's okay i understand. Is it me or is it women who get depressed more then men? It obviously has something to do with our emotions- (Well we DO use more then men don't we...) Obviously your boyfriend doesn't realize how much it hurts you when he leaves you alone... My boyfriend does he just doesn't know how to counter it though haha... Sometimes i dont feel like going into college anymore where i just feel so unhappy (I took two days off this week shamefully). I hate missing time because i know i'll get left behind (even though i never do)... but if not that- i'll get yelled at by the teachers for not being in. If it continues much longer i'll probably try to seek some help, maybe get some meds, but i'm too young for now and i don't want to. I want to try to correct how i feel before i'm forced deeper into adulthood. I hope you're feeling alot better today- or atleast FEEL alot better today. I'm at an average at the moment. Not too happy, not too sad... ------ P.S. Sorry if i dont reply to many other posts, i might not be on later / for the weekend. Peace XD
21 Nov 08
I cried as i sleep when i didn't tell my crush that i love him, i miss him so much but got nothing else to do cause he's only my crush and the thing i want to, is to be with him for the rest of my life the problem is i still love him until now every time i see him my heart explodes. I just keep myself busy to ease the pain. My love was like an air passing through him. i hope he loves me to because i really do. this kind of depression needs a friend not only your boyfriend, cry if you want to cry but make sure its precious. Love is a lesson to learn not a heartache to earn. Moved on and don't ever surrender love him like nobody in this world only him. tell him you love him more. Don't hesitate do what your heart wants to do and don't forget to be wise