Marrying a Guy whom you just met in the internet

Philippines
November 23, 2008 12:32am CST
this is crazy,.. How can you marry someone whom you just met in the internet without knowing them personally????? I admit that I was once addicted to yahoo chat and there I met this guy,.. His name is Anthony and I dunno If he's real,.. He's form United Arab Emirates.. And he's already 33 years old and he wants to marry me!!!! I'm only 18 a 2nd year college student who only wants to help my family.. And I have a boyfriend who doesn't really care for me how stupid.. he told me that he'll help me and my family and he'll take care of me,.. but i don't know,.. he kinda creeps me out so I stopped using my yahoo ID,.. he sometimes call me on my phone, and I told my mom about it,. She told me that as long as he doesn't come here in our country I'm safe,.. but what do you think about this?? If I marry him, will I be happy in the future???
4 people like this
49 responses
@beauty_ph (2752)
• Philippines
23 Nov 08
If he's real, he'll definitely pursue you and come over. He'll find ways to come over and get to know you personally. I think since you have a long distance relationship, his calling you in your phone is one way of showing that his intentions are real. You said you want to help your family, I think he'll understand if you will tell him that. If he loves you, he'll support you and understand you. I know love can develop. So try to get to know that person, and I believe that there are real persons in this cyberworld. I know several successful marriages online, some are my friends from our city too. I wish you good luck!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
24 Nov 08
well I'm really not that sure because I'm still young and he doesn't even want me to finish my schooling,.. SO I told him that I'l think bout it
@prasanta (1947)
• India
28 Nov 08
Dear beauty_ph, I feel it is better not to develop long distance relationship through Internet. That may fetch several problems. You can never know him completely. So, inside the same city falling in love through Internet is fine, but I cannot support it for long distance.
• United States
23 Nov 08
You should first meet him in person and find out if you really feel somthing for him. Because i dont think so you will get married with someone that you doesnt love. And the truth i think your too young to think in your 18 years to get married . Have a nice day ;) see you.
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Nov 08
I have to say that by meeting him first would atleast give you both the chance to see if you care that much to take it any farther as Friends First.Just make sure you have some one with you around and that you would meet in a public place. In this day and time you can never be to safe .So make sure your Family knows all about where you will be and give a phone number so some one may call you to check on you as well. I always leave all info on my refridge the time i left and where i am and who i am to meet with a phone number .Who the person is and when i will be back .So that way if some one needs to find me they have what is important to know.Look out for you . Then when you know more about one another and how things really are you can make plans but do not be in any hurry .If they want to hurry you then some thing is not right and you need to back out...Again, look out for you.I hope this helps you to think this thru.
1 person likes this
@wilmaaa (43)
• China
23 Nov 08
i met my husband online, i guess i have the qualification to take part in this discussion;) we meet on skype 3 years ago. as many poeple said, it's more dangerous to trust poeple online. it's right, coz we know nothing personally. what we can trust is only the feeling, we even worry if we could still feel good in real life. BUT, only after u try can u get the answer! so why not trust him? we r lucky, both of us trust each other so much, and both of us try our best to solve all the difficulties that make us apart. for example, we need know if we can live well together, so we must try to live together. then he stopped his work and took 14 hours airplane to come my hometown, meet all my family members. i guess u can see his attitude;) but i am chinese, not all the family members and friends could accept and understand, but we did not give up, now our love and action already make most of them believe us, and we get married this summer;) as for u and your online bf, if u 2 really love each other and wanna to be together, u could let him come first, and then u will see what to do next. he is willing to do that, and that's also nothing bad for u;) but i found the problem also lies in u. u r 18, and student, i don't know if u r really ready to marry; what's more, at the end, u asked "if i marry him, will i be happy in the future?" i guess this question u should not ask us, but ask yourself;) nobody could not know what will happen to his marriage in the future, but if u even can not ensure about your feeling now, how can u talk about marriage?? of course, arab poeple has difference custom in marriage, this is part u could think well. anyway, what i wanna say, marriage is sth about love and trust, and some action. poeple online are also poeple in this society. u should trust them till they r untrustable. no matter with who u will marry at last, wish u could be happy forever:)
1 person likes this
• Philippines
24 Nov 08
I'm not really sure,. he's not even my boyfriend,.and I'm not ready for anything such as marriage,.. I still want to enjoy my life,.. and being married to someone whom I don't really know is a very risky thing,..
• China
23 Nov 08
I would like to say marrying a guy whom you just met in the internet would be a haste decision. The cyberworld is so large that we are unable to judge a person is good or not. Don't easily trust people on the internet. if you really have a good impression on him, try to get further know of him and then make decision that you would marry him or not
1 person likes this
• United States
24 Nov 08
I agree with what you said. if you really want him, make efforts to know him better.If you really think he loves you, tell him you are still young and if he can wait then much better.
@mengrufa (239)
• China
23 Nov 08
This is very absorb thing, you know , we must keep an eye on the Internet that someone may cheat you. We should always keep our minds cool,and we should not believe the person we meet in the internet and even haven't met before. I don't meant all the person on the internet all bad guys, but i have my right to say that, for i don't want to make any troubles from the internet. If he haven't met you, you should be careful.If you want to keep in touch with him , you should know him more to make sure he is serious and ready to be a good one.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
24 Nov 08
yeah I know I'm still trying to balance everything so that I won't hurt anyone
@miamhae (339)
• Philippines
23 Nov 08
Your so young Jennifer, is better for you to focus in your studies. My boyfriend now is actually I meet in internet, but i meet him already personally before we totally agree that his my man and I'm his women. You didn't tell what nationality he is,because Arab man are hard to spell , you know what I mean , and sad to say, many man in internet looking for young and sexy lady, because young usually innocent. And also they are many women not only one but more than ten. Its actually happen with me, until now my boyfriend still chatting in other girls, I just feel secure because he introduce me already in his family. You need to know him better if he can go and meet your family its ok, but don't talk about marriage, your still young and have a lot of good opportunities waited with you. And make sure his not married, Arab or muslim man are able to married 3x. Good luck and don't forget to Pray that you are in right path of your life, because even you avoided him if God really wanted you to be with that man, God give you always a chance to found him. Its happen to me, I ignore my boyfriend almost a year but God let him back and back until one day I decide to met him. Take care
1 person likes this
• Philippines
24 Nov 08
Thank you :)
@alindahaw (1219)
• Philippines
24 Nov 08
You should never have given him your phone number in the first place. Some people get obsessed with these things and they can be dangerous. About the marriage thing, I think you should forget about it. You don't really know this guy. If you are not comfortable with this person online, then by all means stop communicating with him. Change your phone number and do not invite him to come and see you.
@iamdiwas (22)
• India
23 Nov 08
yeah you are right in some aspects but i think that if u guys really love each other u should meet someday and give each other time to understand each other in a better way then u think of marriage ...i think u people should meet each other regularly say it for several months then u decide of marrying each other.
1 person likes this
@ersmommy1 (12605)
• United States
23 Nov 08
A friend of mine has parents who married after knowing each other only 2 weeks. And they have been together for over 40 years. So I guess it isn't so strange. however as an 18 yr old student, I would be careful. It sounds like it could be a potentially dangerous situation.
1 person likes this
@silverjam (969)
• United States
23 Nov 08
In some cases it is a gamble marrying somebody you just met, specially in the internet. One thing, you don't know him personally, and you guys are from different cultures and beliefs (maybe) and the list can go on for some cons in online dating. I met my husband through the internet chatting but it's from our religious site so at least am a little confident that we are of the same faith ( w/c ic is very important to me). W/ constant prayers for a quality of a life mate, I can say I am so lucky to have him and that he's the one I was waiting for (a long time). I have friends who were also married w/ guys from different parts of the world through internet chatting as this is some of the trends nowadays. Some are successful while others are not and ended up w/ divorce. In your case I would suggest that you must know him more. If you're interested in marrying somebody from the internet dating, you must be ready for some consequences like the inter-racial masrraiges, cultural differences, religious practices and physical separation from your family and friends at home. Are you ready for these changes in your married life? These questions are seriously posing determination on how you will be successful in marrying somebody from half way across the world. The decission is yours, weight things in balance.
1 person likes this
@gracie04 (4556)
• Philippines
23 Nov 08
You're too young to get married, Jen.. You know, people you usually meet in yahoo chat rooms aren't for real. i mean, some of them are there to look for fun.. my friend used to chat and her chatmate from the US proposed to her after a month.. she said yes but after that the guy left her without saying a word.. yay! i knew it.. don't believe to people you haven't met personally.. if he really wants to marry you then he should be the one to make an effort to see you..
@AURTHER (15)
• China
23 Nov 08
Aha~~~~~~~Crazy girl!I don't believe internet,it only a virtual world,on the internet people only to say themselves and you don't know the fact,maybe some cheater in the mixed inside,so you should be careful.I like making friends,of course i make friends on the internet,but i would'n face to face them easily,and i would't tell them my telephone number and address,unless someone who talk with me many years and i well know him(her).I think your experience is very crazy,but i don't know whether you will happy in the future if you marry him,i think nobody will know that,aha~~will they?God bless you~~~~~~~~~
1 person likes this
@dodo19 (28125)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
23 Nov 08
Relationships while you're a student can work. I'm 20, a student, and I'm engaged. I have friends who are married or engaged. So, long as it's what you want then it can work. But I have doubts about this guy too. The guy Anthony or whatever his name is. If he keeps calling you, then there's no knowing what else he'll do. I certainly would not advice you to pursue this relationship. If you were in a relationship with him, I don't think it would be a healthy one.
1 person likes this
@adapots (82)
• Philippines
23 Nov 08
NO! don't marry him. you are so young and i think he is not true to you if he is true he will come to you and marry you. and take "note" their are lot of people idiot people using yahoo remember that. and beside you are young. i think you need to concentrate your study and i know you can find a good man that he is deserving to be your future husband. coz marraige is a life time relationship! Study! study! and have fun not to marry while you are a student. GOOD LUCK!
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Nov 08
It sounds like you would think of doing this so he would help you and your family not because you love him. I think you should be careful here - you don't really know this man.
@maroseqf (3657)
• Philippines
23 Nov 08
You better think very hard on that matter. Marriage is a lifetime commitment and one should be fully decided if he/she wants to enter a married life. I just got married last January with my 14-month boyfriend. Although we were boyfriend and girlfriend for not that long, I believe that I already know him and his family, and vice-versa. I think getting to know the person through experience is really important because if you only knew the person through chatting, you might not see his true colors. What you did was right. Try to stay away from him. I also get the creeps from those kind of persons. Just focus on your studies and the right guy will come for you.
@xlinzixx (511)
23 Nov 08
i think this is absurd you cant marry this guy he could be anyone i'll admit me and my partner met on the internet but it was along time before we met and then talked of marriage you have to get to know someone properly first in person before marrying them.
1 person likes this
@modstar (9615)
• Philippines
28 Nov 08
It really depends on you. Some people nowadays marry for the sake of money. You're still too young to marry. I mean that's just my opinion. I say you need to know him better on a personal note. Meaning, you need to meet up with him first before you decide to marry. Marriage is pretty much complicated, what more if you don't know much about the person you are going to marry. I suggest you take it one day at a time. One quality day at a time. Get to know him more. Ask about his background and see if it fits your preferences.
• Philippines
3 Dec 08
ok,.. thanks
• United States
25 Nov 08
Ok, let me help you as much as I can here. You are 18 years old, and seemingly very responsible since you are in college. I'm 28 and have been married before. Alot of times, it's hard to get married when you are very young. Focus on your school and your family and forget about marrying strange people that you don't know in person from the internet. This can be very dangerous. I'm not saying that it wouldn't work, but your chances aren't too good. This is how alot of people end up having problems and sometimes even getting killed. Get a little older before you worry about marrying, or at least if you want to get married young, make sure that you know that person very well for a while, and in person.
• Philippines
26 Nov 08
I still don't want to marry at this age.. I still want to enjoy my life as a single person. and being married would mean big responsibilty which am not ready to face yet
@PRIYANK1992 (1678)
• India
25 Nov 08
It's really a crazyness.If you marry to a boy from whom you just met in the internet then it's really a stupid act done by you.I don't know for what.