What is considered to be 'too nice'?

United States
November 24, 2008 1:49am CST
Even though I would never admit this if I were to meet any of you in person, I'm a pretty nice guy who helps everyone. A few years ago, I probably didn't notice how helpful I was to anyone who asked: if someone was in need, I did anything and everything to help them, not for personal gain but because...well I'm not sure why. Now, I'm in college 1000 miles away from home, I have a job, and I have a lot of friends. My university is one that is considered by many international students as a nice, safe place to study English and so about 99% of my friends here are from Asia (typically South Korea, Japan, and Taiwan). My first year here, I was very willing to help out those who were new to the U.S. I've made many lifelong friends from my 'good biddings' and I continue to keep in touch and have even visited many of them in South Korea. This school year, I have a different persepctive. It seems that I've made sort of a 'reputation' for myself within the University for international students as someone who is nice and will give rides, lend money, and just give help in general with anything needed. I've also noticed that many people just take advantage of this; from some of these people, I'll only receive calls from them when a ride is needed. Others rely on me for editing english homework or for helping out with changing cell phone plans, contracting new apartments, or sorting out plane tickets. You get the idea. How do I draw the line to this? Stop answering my phone? I realize what I'm doing what it's harder to put a stop to it than I thought..
1 response
@klaudine (3652)
• Indonesia
24 Nov 08
I think, being too nice is being nice to someone and get yourself in trouble. I mean, if you know that you would caught in trouble by helping someone, you are alrady considered too nice. When you are trying to be nice but it would put you in uneasy, uncomfortable, and any not nice situation, you are considered too nice. When you are being nice to somebody who is not nice to you, you are definitely too nice. So are you too nice, cometrang?
• United States
24 Nov 08
Yeah I guess I am, then..and yes, I do realize what's going on but lately I've become more and more aware and even irritated about it. Unconsciously, I've become more cold to people because of other personal things going on in my life and I think people are beginning to notice the 'change' in me. Just by the way you talk, you seem to be a good middle between nice and 'not-so-nice'..what do you think about yourself?
@klaudine (3652)
• Indonesia
25 Nov 08
Well.. I think I am a kind of 'not nice' person. Of course I wouldn't say that I am a cruel person, but I think being 'not nice' is nice for me. I am a kind of person who would not stop and give charity for beggar in the street. I would not open the car window just to give pennies to the street musician, because I know it would be dangerous. I am not a kind of person who would come to someone's house to send gifts if they don't pick up my phone. I am not a person who would say sorry more than 3 times, because I think if they don't receive my goodwill, so they're not good enough. So what do you think about that?