I am torn between best friend and boyfriend...
November 24, 2008 8:49pm CST
I am in the situation where I am spending more and more time with my boyfriend... We are close till people around me are starting to ask when are we getting married. = Problem now is i spent a lot more time with my boyfriend than my best friend. My best friend, though happy for me, is sad sometimes... As she sometimes think she has lose a friend.. Why? because I cannot be the close friend I used to be as there is someone else in my life.. I cannot be there for her. I cannot go shopping and movies with her as much as before. I do try to go out with her once in awhile. But she usually refuse when my boyfriend tags along.. She says she doesn't want to be "The Lamp Post" or the third party.. So there are times where she would "complain" or "nag" that how lonely she is at times, now that she has 1 less close friend.. Another thing is, our other best pal is away in Australia studying.. So she is all the more alone if you know what I mean.. We are those that has a few close friends by our side.. I understand how she feels. But there is nothing much I can do. Was wondering if I can find any advise out here. Have you been in this situation before? How do you "tackle" it?
2 people like this
• United States
25 Nov 08
You just have to set aside more girl time. At least one day for a few hours every week. Maybe just a girls' day at the mall, or a pizza/movie night, or something. There's just nothing else you can do. Your life truly is going to be different from now on, but you really should try not to leave her behind. Plus, a little time off from the boyfriend should be a good thing once in a while.
25 Nov 08
Noted.. I will try to set aside that time.. But with family and work.. that is going to be difficult... I will try my best with time management though i think i fail in that.. So far.. I don't understand but i was never bored of my boyfriend of this moment.. LOL.. Hope I did not said this too early..
25 Nov 08
It's not easy to see a best friend in your life. A real friend who was with you for the longest time in your life. But I think it's just letting her understand the situation. It's not letting go but adding one more friend and that is your future husband to be. I think you should tell your fiancee regarding this matter. Why not have lunch with her, that your still there, and your still her best friend. Anyway one day she will also have her own family for her to understand. Let her feel that your still their even though your getting married. Anyway you will spend your life time with your fiancee maybe he will understand what you feel now. Have a great day!
25 Nov 08
I agree.. It is not easy to have a best friend, let alone a good one in life.. I have a few close friends.. I do try my best to keep in contact with them as much as I can.. Thank you for your advice.. I had discuss this before with him. He needs to spend time with his buddies too.. They have 2 soccer sessions a week.. I have my shopping and movie time with my girlfriends too but it never seems enough for my best friend. She doesn't have a permanent full time job, you see. She is starting her degree next year January. So she has more free time than I do.. And I couldn't spend time with her as I have a full time job. I guess it would be even harder if she starts her degree, as both of us would have less time for each other.