Why many people seem to be lonely and unhappy in marriage and relationships?

@deepti15 (1190)
India
November 25, 2008 12:28am CST
why do some people seem so lonely and unhappy in marriage and relationships? Why do some not get out if they are so unhappy and lonely? I am just curious. Is it neglect?, or commitment issues I don't understand. Does everyone feel lonely in their marriages at some point? If you're married why not try to make the most out of it? What I feel is there are plenty of reasons. Some people go into marriages with unrealistic expectations. Sometimes, they happen, sometimes they don't. Some people take their vows seriously, some think it is ok to break them. You won't understand unless you know them very well. Yes, we try to make our marriages work for as long as we can, and it is when we don't want to try anymore, that is when the marriage or any relationship is over. When you don't care anymore, you won't share anymore.
3 people like this
16 responses
@bellebads (741)
• Philippines
25 Nov 08
i think the reason why there are unhappy marriages is because they married for the wrong reasons. its not only LOVE that makes the marriage work. you also have to consider the compatibility of both couple. some people rush into getting married because they feel that they really are in love with each other only to find out that there's still a lot of things lacking on their marriage and that results onto divorce or separation.
• United States
25 Nov 08
Yes I also believe that some people get married for the wrong reasons. My ex wife I believe was in love with the idea of being in love and over the 22 years that we were married it took its toll. Part of our break-up was definitely my fault because I was selfish with my time and didn't put as much into our marriage as I should have. I suppose I can't blame her for leaving... I was the one who caused her loneliness throughout the years and now I find myself the one who is lonely.
• Philippines
26 Nov 08
i'm sorry about that rtutsky but atleast you already knew how it takes if you married for the wrong reasons. better luck next time. i wish you well.
@sadnooo (12)
• Taiwan
26 Nov 08
I think that People want free! For example: I desire playing basketball but I can't go... I want to drink with my brothers but I can't go... etc... Above all because I have married and I have to take care of my family...
• Philippines
26 Nov 08
i think its all up to both the couple. they have to share whats on their mind and say what they want everybody needs time for themselves its just a matter of time management have time with your leisure and friends but don't forget to allot more time to your family.
@russso (1701)
• Philippines
28 May 09
People are never happy and content with what they have to the point that the expectation towards one's partner is just too high that it can't be met. Another reason is that people do not like to compromise - it should always be done this way or it should always be about this person. I think these are the two main culprits why people seem to be unhappy when they are in a relationship.
• India
21 Mar 09
really now days this problem has become an great one because earlier days people know the meaning of love and they always had true love even if not than they had on e thing great understanding but know either there is problem of great possessiveness or they are not able to give time and if they are not able to give time to each other than in that condition actually they feel lonely because they are not able to share happiness or there problems to each other and they marry because they think that after marriage i will get someone who will listen to me but practically in this modern world its becoming impossible as now days if this happen than people try to separate instead of solving there problem.
@kiaza28 (25)
• United States
18 Mar 09
im getting married soon...is that really how it works are you married and having those thoughts about your marriage?im curious too... this is the very first time im going to get married,id been reading alot of discussion and articles just to nurture myself and enhanced my knowledge. i dont really want to have a hell life out of marriage,if im gonna get married i really want it to be first and last. my fiancee was been married two times before and he got a painful experiences and i feel for him so i want to be the best wife i can be for him...
@winterose (39925)
• Canada
17 Dec 08
thank you for best response my friend.
@dpk262006 (41800)
• Delhi, India
28 Nov 08
YOu are right, when a partner starts expecting much from the other one and his/her expectations does not get fulfilled, he/she feels lonely and unhappy. Unhappiness and happiness is a state of mind, one is supposed to feel contended and happy in the given circumstances, those who can adjust, will adjust to any siutation and circumstances and those who do not have tendency to adjust will be unable to adjust in the best possible sitauation.
@kekejo (6)
• United States
26 Nov 08
because relationships are alot of work but it's not until you're not in one that you realize that it is work that you are willing to do
• Indonesia
26 Nov 08
Some people seem so lonely and unhaapy in marriage and relationships because the first time they met, they often to search for a perfect mate or relationship. They always close their eyes for their partner lack. So after a couple day, month, year. This different seem more greater and they can't handle them. So they realized the relationship is'nt going anywhere this make a lot of people sad. The first time we met we must accept our partner.
@anikakim (364)
• Philippines
26 Nov 08
I've been to a relationship with my first boyfriend for 4 years and within get married. We call our relationship as a commonn law partner for 2 years. Were happy together with our 2 years old daughter. If we had a problem we don't let talk for tomorrow but today and tonight. One will swallow the pride and be a lot of patience to make the relationship strong. That's what I do to our relationship. Were to young but were happy. Sometimes I cry because I can't take it anymore. But thats part of a wife to have a lot of patience and be caring, loving wife to her husband. It's better that you will talk it right away.
@comfort55 (1574)
• India
25 Nov 08
Marriage is an instituition which is basically caring nd sharing with each other. I agree that hiccups do come in every person's married life, but then the couples can resolve the matter by talking to each other. It breaks when one of them get too selfish or dominating, has high expectations from the partner. Then it becomes difficult to carry on and has no other option left.
@subha12 (18472)
• India
25 Nov 08
There can be many reason. It can be the case that both are living together, but there are many gaps between them. so it is not possible to be very happy when there are many differences. Plus there are chances that there can be some problems which can't be solved between two.
@socizpub (14)
• Philippines
25 Nov 08
for my own perception, i think couple comes to an end because they let their pride come in, or they are discontented to what they have, they didn't meet the expectations that they were planned before they get there. Having faith and honest to each other is the most important factors to have a Harmonious Relatioship, if one of the couple didn't give these factors to his partner, their marriage will never work out...
@etranger (126)
• India
25 Nov 08
yes marriage is a legal bond between two person and two families and their will be these fights and lonesomeness but it is all short lived once you get over all these then you can really enjoy the relation enjoy being with her or him
@redhotpogo (3935)
• United States
25 Nov 08
because people don't take relationships seriously. They get married for things other than love. Marriage use to be about two people that loved each other uniting as one. Now its a business deal. People are marrying what they can get, as long as there's money. And they figure they'll just grow to love the person or something. If you have to "grow to love the person" its not good enough. People don't need to take the first thing that comes along. They need to take the best person for them. Someone that they love, and that loves them back. You aren't going to change anyone, so don't bother. And don't marry for money. Marriages fell cause people marry for the wrong reasons, and if the people don't live up to their standards they divorce them and move on to the next person. Like changing a pair of pants.
@winterose (39925)
• Canada
25 Nov 08
you have to be in these peoples shoes to understand, there are many reasons for divorce, many, some good some not so good, you can just say you should make the best of it your are married some people have to get divorced, some women have been killed by their husbands etc, so each reason for a divorce is as different as night and day.