i have decided i will visit my daughter after 25 years

United States
November 28, 2008 6:08pm CST
hi every one i told you all about my daughter i gave up 25 years ago .she contacted me and wanted to see me . ihave three boys all the same age and was not sure if i should take them along .well i have decided until i know her better i will go alone this trip . i live far from her and i dont know if i should get a room while i am there or if i should stay with her and my grand children .i am trying to save money .which would you do ?what is the proper thing to do?
2 responses
• Canada
29 Nov 08
Hey my question to you is have you ever met your daughter? was she adopted and did she ever meet your sons? As a person who was adopted and met her biological father for the first time I requested that he not bring the kids. The reason being is that, you should use that time to get aquainted with eachother and her side of the family first. It is a bit overwhelming for her and probably for you to throw other people into the mix. Slow and steady will often help and then when you have both gotten to know eachother better you can add other people. WHen my father disobeyd my request I got mad because I wanted to focus on getting to know him first without and distractions or having to worry about getting to know other people at the same time. For this time I think you right you should go at it by yourself then bring your sons as you BOTH become comfortable with eachother. I think if you get a hotel this will also allow you to have a safe haven because just like before this will be an overwhelming experience. Not only are you getting to know her but your grandchildren and her husband. You may want to have a place where you can be to yourself and a place where you can go to feel comfortable. On the other hand it may not be bad to bring someone along so that you don't feel so out of place and feel like the 'lone ranger'. Just thought I'd give you a bit of what it felt like for me meeting my biological father for the first time. Emotions will be all over the place and its easier to keep track of when it's focused on one person. Perhaps you could ask her to meet you alone for the first time like meet at a coffee shop that way you both can be comfortable with eachother before you meet the rest of her family? Just a suggestion for your own sanity. Regards and best of luck
• United States
29 Nov 08
thanks so much and you are right about the emotions i cry when i think about seeing her. i dont know if my boys will understand this.
@cupkitties (7176)
• United States
29 Nov 08
what would be wrong with bringing your sons? Don't you think they want to see their sister? This is your daughter not some random stranger. I'm thinking it would be a lot cheaper to stay with her and the grandkids.
• United States
29 Nov 08
it would cost me over 1200.00 dollars if we all were to fly and then she would not have a lot of room. i am hoping after this trip she can move closer we have talked about that.