Here is my LOVE STORY...

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It was Nov 3, 2001, a Saturday, when I attended a Planning Conference of all youth leaders in our church... I was 17 then, and she was 15. As I entered the room... the first girl that I saw was her as if NO ONE ELSE WAS INSIDE IT and only HER that I COULD SEE PRETTY CLEARLY... then she waved her hand signalling me to come and sit beside her on a vacant chair. THEN I SAID TO MYSELF... there are still some pretty girls with a nice heart and great attitude LIKE HER. After the said gathering, both of us were appointed to become district staff and so our path crossed not just once but MANY TIMES. We were an ISSUE in our group... we were both teased to one another and it actually pushed us together so close that I start liking her and admiring her. But there is a bit problem... Youth in our church are discouraged to have a relationship if our age is below 18. I do respect this admonition especially that we were leaders and we were expected to follow the said rule for us to be an effective leaders ourselves to our fellow youth. TO CUT IT SHORT... I did wait until she reached 18 while I was on my 20's who was about to graduate on my BS.NURSING course. When I was about to court her... a news was given to me that her parents were strict and wants her to finish her study before having a boyfriend... and so... I've waited for that time to arrived and only this year she managed to finished her study which is actually the same as mine. We had a reuunion last April of all the YOUTH DISTRICT STAFF batch 2001 and on our way home... we had a chance to talk and we both expressed our feelings with each other... She actaully came from a NON-FORMAL relationship with a guy she had loved but she asked me if I could wait for her.... of course I said yes I could... just a week after, she asked me to go to her place to meet her family. And on that special day... WE OFFICIALLY BECAME COMMITED TO ONE ANOTHER... after a grueling wait of 7 years, 5 months and 24 days... I HAD THE CHANCE TO HAVE HER AS MY SOLE AND ENDEARED GIRLFRIEND on the 27th of April around 3 in the afternoon. I thought it was a fairy tale with a happy ending but my guess was wrong... After 7 months, 2 days, 3 hours and 20 mins... She have ended my dream of BEING WITH HER for the rest of my life. She said to me... SHE IS NOT READY! Bu why did she say YES?! She said we were still too young (maybe she is... but Im 25 and not getting any younger) She also said to end it now but still give a spark of hope that we might be able to continue it if we are both ready... But isn't it enough TO WAIT FOR HER for more than 7 YEARS?! And now she wants me to wait for another year or even another 7 years?! POINTLESS! I guess I am just tired of loving somebody who might not have loved me and still trapped with her previous love which isn't me. SHE WANT AN END... I DON'T... I even begged her to give another chance and fixed whatever problem we have... BUT SHE DIDN'T WANT TO. And so... I LET HER GO. And the last thing that I have said as my tears run through my face wass... "I FEEL LIKE A TRASH the instance that YOU DUMPED ME with no choice at all and no chance to do something" Then I walked away without turning back. She insist accompanying til I ride a bus going home. BUT I DONT WANT TO... it is killing me to see her as I leave. And now she is still texting me... asking for forgiveness... Thanking me for all of the love that I have shown.. And saying SHE DO LOVE ME... but too d*mn to end it. What does it mean... I want to get over her... but she keeps on making me feel her presence and even trying to convince me of her love for me. SIGH... I was crying before... but not any more. I WISH TO MOVE ON... But why cant she realize that and keeps her shadow haunting me and pulling my heart towards her. IT IS SO UNFAIR... I am sorry but I feel this way... I WISH IT WILL BE FAIR! Even after a heartace... I could still stand tall and have even a few ounces of dignity left in me.