Too many get togethers

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I love my family, but the holidays are so difficult. My husband's parents are divorced. We have a gathering at his Dad's. A gathering at his Mother's. A gathering with his Dad's family (aunts, uncles, cousins). A gathering with his Mother's family (aunts, uncles, cousins). We are also expected to go to his step mother's families gathering. Now, her kids don't come to his families gathering. We aren't related to all of her sisters, brothers, etc. Crowded places make me insane. You have to bring food, gifts, gag gifts. It's too much! My family lives clear across the country so we don't get to be with them. They can't afford to come here living off of retirement money. I didn't grow up with this. We didn't have 5 different family gatherings. Do you?