Jealousy is catching up
December 28, 2008 4:46pm CST
She is the type of girl who likes to flirt. See says things like "Im fat and ugly" to other guys (even though she clearly is not), just so guys will compliment her and tell her how good she looks. Things like that. I talked to her tonight, and she said that is simply the way she is. I am the jealous type. I don't mind her talking to other guys, although it may seem like that at first. A few years ago, we broke up because she had feelings for one of her friends. We ended up getting back together a few weeks later. Just recently, I found out that she had feelings for one of my friends, who she has been talking with a lot to try and help him with his relationship problem (I dont really talk with him much since we graduated from high school). When I asked her about it, she came out and told me, she didn't lie about it. We didn't break up, as she said they were nothing big. I don't know if these "feelings" are still there. She tells me they aren't, but a week or so ago, she also said to me "I wish I just lied and said I had no feelings for him, so we wouldn't be like this", because I was still a little upset about it. So I don't know if she is lying about not having feelings now, just because she doesn't want me to be upset. Anyway, she normally stays up and talks to me online until about 12-1230am. Tonight, she was up until 230am talking to this guy from her college, and when we were fine and talking normally, she mentioned she was talking to him, and mentioned he was a flirt, "just like all the guys she works with". I asked her why she never stays up late to talk with me, things like that, and we just started bickering. I really love her and I can barely remember my life before she came into it. I can honestly picture myself spending the rest of my life with her. While we were bickering, she came straight out and said "once in a while I might have a crush, but it doesn't mean anything". This type of thing bothers me, especially because of our 'past', and the two previous times she developed feelings for someone else. I don't think it would bother me as much if we didn't have these problems. I don't really know what to do. I don't like hurting her every time I get jealous. I can't ask her not to talk to guys and to not flirt, that isn't right. But I don't know if I can change how I get jealous. On the other hand, I don't like worrying all the time about her. She constantly tells me I am the only one for her, and I want to believe her, but sometimes its hard to because of what has happened in the past. Does any one have any advice? Do you think its possible for me to get over being jealous? Can a relationship really work when one person is the "flirty" type, and the other one is the jealous type?
29 Dec 08
If I am at your situation I will just forgive and move forward, jealousy is one kind of relationship that kills, and I'll be open about my fears so we can both commit and prioritize the relationship to work things out. That because your feelings is deep for that girl so I just took of what you said.:) Have a healthy relationship! Enjoy!
29 Dec 08
I used to be the jealous type too. For 8 years, my partner was very patient with me. but then it was me. I couldn't stop it. Guess, I thought it was just me. Until one day, my jealousy was eeating up on me and our relationship. I drove my partner nuts. So we broke up. My lesson?I;m having a change of mind. Being jealous is not healthy. It's not the thought of having lack of security from your partner. it is lack of security of oneself.
• United States
28 Dec 08
Wow.. I would think that having a jealous type with a flirty type.. is a lot like feeding the fire. someone is going to have to change. Otherwise she will constantly be driving you crazy and in turn you will drive her nuts.. I am the jealous type and I know that I can't change that .. it's my true feelings.. and who I am.. But I always knew what types to stay away from, so our personalities complimented each others, rather than clash. best of luck!