My writing exercise

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On Feb. 21, 2009, I will attend the IELTS examination. Writing is my weakest item in this testing. Here is my first exercise essay. Any suggestion and criticize is welcome. Task Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. In contemporary society, it is widely believed that co-operation is increasingly important in our lives. But in the meantime, whether the children should be taught co-operation or competition constitutes a controversial issue. Some people believe that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged, while others think that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. As far as I am concerned, I am in favor of the latter opinion. It is obvious that co-operation presented everywhere in our lives. For one thing, much daily housework is finished by the co-operation of family memebers such as cooking and cleaning. Consequently, co-operation is one of the expression for love. For another, we always co-operate with workmates to accomplish the job missions. Specifically, co-operation is one of the indispensable skills in working. Last, to complete numerous tasks, we generally co-operate with our friends, neighbors, classmates or other individuals. As a matter of fact, co-operation is the most popular activity in modern lives so that children should be taught early. On the other hand, colorable arguments can be made that competition is more important for children. It is due to the fact that job opportunites are less than the offering resource today. For instance, every time when a new job position is released, there are usually several candidates compete for it. Even so, competition isn only a phenomenon but not a basic skill in working. In this case, co-operation always one of the key characteristics the employer considered. To sum up, I would concede that children should learn the sense of competition. However, co-operation is one of the fundamental skills in day-to-day life. Therefore, I would assert that co-operation should be placed as the essential one for child-education.