Children before marriage
By kayla_7602
@kayla_7602 (704)
Canada
January 19, 2009 2:27pm CST
Ok so how do you all feel about having children before marriage. I have a son who is 6 I had him when I was only 16, his father and I are still together, we bought our first house, but we have not gotten married. I feel that it is ok if 2 people love each other for them to have children before marriage, personally i feel just because you are married it dosnt secure your love, or relationship, if you are going to leave or stay with someone it dosnt matter if your married or not. My son seems to be doing great even though we are not married, I know alot of people look down on this I was just wondering if everyone would be able to share how they feel and why I love to know how other people feel and more improtandly why they feel this way i think it gives me a better understanding of other people and thier views, so that you to all who respond!
1 person likes this
3 responses
@kurotenshii (86)
• United States
19 Jan 09
I believe its okay to do whats right for you. If that means having 40 kids before marriage, by all means do it. As long as you can support your son, love him, and take care of him then why should it matter if you are married or not? I know some people who are religious may not agree with me but I think that you should be able to do what you want with your life. If anything your son is a blessing and I think anyone should be able to see that. Good luck to you and I hope you continue on without any troubles.
Sincerely,
TK
1 person likes this
@Bethany1202 (3431)
• United States
7 Feb 09
These days many many people have had children out of wedlock. I don't think it's a big deal if the parents are willing to care for the child and be responsible. Even if people are married, they sometimes divorce while they have children, which is similar I suppose.
My sister had her first child when she was 17 and was not married, then she had two other children with two other different men. I still love her and all 3 of my nieces. I am not going to judge someone for having children AS LONG as they care for them, whether they are married or not is no big deal to me.
@Jae2619 (1483)
• United States
5 Feb 09
I am more less in the same boat as you. I live in SC, which is a common law state.. I know alot of people look down on us as we are sinning and so on, but I always look at it as, a signed piece of paper in a church, courthouse isn't gonna change the way we feel, or the way we are raising our kids. We are together and have been together for almost 10 years... and we both joke maybe we need to tie that knot, but then we both say why change what's working... this works for us.
I don't care what other people think about us not being married in a chruch, or at the court house or anywhere for that matter, what matters to me is what I feel, and what i think about it. I am in love with him, and he is in love with me, that's all that matters.
There is some fact out there somewhere, I can't remember where I read it at, but it goes something like most people who have dated for a long time, and then marry have a high divorce rate... why would i want to jeopordize what i have now to end in divorce... not saying it's gonna happen but i'm not willing to take that chance. I like what we have, we are happy and that's all that matters... as with you, as long as you are happy, your child is doing great, who cares if there's been vows exchanged....
