Mother's constantly downing their daughters

United States
February 13, 2009 11:14am CST
Does anyone else have one of those moms whos juat want to always down you about the way or the things that you do with your child. I'm really tryin to keep the peace between me and my mom cause she's been through so much in the past couple of months. I'm just getting to that point now wih her that everything I do with my son she says is wrong. I'm doing my best not to blow up at her and say well you weren't the best moter in the world atleast i'm trying and show I care. Does anyone have any suggestions, coming techniques or something. Thanks for letting me rant I think it just help to get it out there.
5 people like this
7 responses
@sandymay48 (2031)
• Canada
13 Feb 09
Thats very unfortunate that some mothers are like that. I suppose they think they are helping because no matter how old children are, we still see them as our children...But we must learn to realize that times and ways change, and things that we did 20 years ago, may not be the way things are done today. I have 4 grown children and I might not always agree with the way they do things. However if its nothing that will cause harm to anyone then I keep quiet. I will offer freindly advise but will not tell my children what they are doing is wrong unless its obvious. At least you know your mom cares by telling you what she thinks you do wrong..If not, she would just let it all go and never say anything...Sometimes the silent treatment is even worse. Try not to get mad and mix words....Just try to remember that maybe when your mom was younger, that wasnt the way things were done or accepted. Try to see past this and just know she loves you. It will make you a better person for when your own children grow up and do things differently then you did.
@alharra (507)
• United States
14 Feb 09
In my case my Mom doesn't do it because she cares. She does it because she is a control freak and is trying to make up for the screwed up job she did with me and my sister. What she doesn't seem to understand is is that she is making things worse not better. She is ensuring that when I do move out of this house that she will not be talking to me again and the contact she has with my kids will be very limited. And yes I am trying to punish her- sorry.
1 person likes this
@Jae2619 (1484)
• United States
13 Feb 09
I don't have an issue with my mother but I used to have problems with my older sister who thought she knew it all and everything had to be done her way and when I didn't, all heck would break loose and she's be on my back about it. I let it slide for the most part but after getting upset and it cause problems everytime I was around her or talking to her, I knew that something had to be said, So I sat her down, no kids around and we just had a heart to heart, and things have been fine since. Just tell her how it makes you feel, and how it effects your all relationship. If this has just started, maybe what she's been going threw in the last few months have brought this on. Sometimes when people are having an emotional time dealing with something else they will focus all that on something else to make the other problems seem to fade away.
2 people like this
@alharra (507)
• United States
13 Feb 09
I wish I knew what to tell you- I've been dealing with this problem for years. Unfortunately I live with my Mom cause I can't afford to take care of myself and the kids. Mom has been putting me down for YEARS!!!! Not just to me but I'm pretty sure she has been saying things to my kids as well. I just walk out of the room when my Mom starts- that's about all I can do. Every once in a while I'll blow up at her and she will stop for a few days.
2 people like this
@miccant (154)
• United States
13 Feb 09
Even though it is hard try not to say something you will regret later in life. You said your mom has had problems in the last couple of months maybe she is nit picking you so she doesnt have to face the other problems. If you believe in your heart that how you are raising your son is the right way and the best that you can do then don't let anyone change that. My mother in-law tells me how to disciple my boys and just tell her she already raised her kids and let me raise mine. Every parent will make some kind of mistakes in their lives, as long as you learn from them and correct them then that is the best you can do. Good luck and I hope you and your mom can work it out.
2 people like this
• Romania
14 Feb 09
i think that your mother loves her grandson very much....and i also think that she realise now that she wasn`t the best mom...and in some ways now she`s trying to make things right with your son. maybe you should have a conversation...and explain her what do you think about this. and maybe it will make you and your mother feel much better. because it`s not a good situation...it`s a lot of presure between you and your mother.
1 person likes this
• United States
14 Feb 09
Yes, I do. I finally put all my thoughts in a letter to her. We had not been speaking already over her choice to support a man in prison claiming him to be a Christian still, but I had to put into writing everything I felt. I did so with tact, but she needed to hear what was on my heart. It's her decision to change if she wishes to have a relationship with me and her grandchildren.
1 person likes this
@izathewzia (5142)
• Philippines
14 Feb 09
It is really hard to became a parent and a child. But if we will try our best to work things out, then it will be possible. And pray a lot. Because it really works.