pressures from parents for finding boyfriend or future husband
@sabina19841110 (69)
China
February 14, 2009 7:33am CST
i am a girl,26-year-old,just generated from university for half and a year.
During these period, i get big pressure from my parents for finding a boyfriend.because my parents request me to find boyfriend as soon as possible.
in my opinion, it is ridiculous for my parents' behavior.pls see my below reasons:
1.when i was in university, my parents always told me that being a student,pls pay your all attention to study and do not touch love affairs.so i do it as they request.the result was that when i generated from university, i still single.
2.finding a person which you love is not easy.also i think marriage is a holy thing.they need two persons love each other very sincerely. it is not a responsibility that you must do.
because of aboved two reasons,although for me, i am also worried about not having a boyfriend, i still escape from my home and do not go home on weekend in order to have a free space(you know, as usual, i go home on every weekend, before, it was a happy thing).
but several weeks ago, my parents behavior really angried me.it happened like that:
one day, my sister had a visit to my home because it was in chinese New Year,she told my monther that she wanted to introduce a boy to me who was my middle schoolmate. at that time, i refused in the face of my monther and sister,because i knew this boy,he is not the person i like. at that time, i thought my monther follow my idea and would not ask me to accept relutantly. unfortunately,several days after i came back to work, my monther phoned me and ask me to considered this boy again.i refused again, so my monther just said "ok,ok".so i thought i monther gave up. but several days after this call, my father resaid this thing and re-asked me to consider this again. they said,nowadays, it is very difficult for a girl to find a very perfect boy who have high academic qualification,who live in city.after listening these words, i were very angry,because i am not the girl who wants to find a very good boy. i just do not like this person, why you compelled me.loving a person and marrying a person is not a easy thing. so i hold on my father's call and closed my phone.
frankly, i understand my parents' painstaking. being a 26-year-old girl, not having a boyfriend is a trouble thing. but loving need good luck.
Dear every friend,do you agree with my point.
do you have this pressure or problem? could you help me to escape from this problem?
9 responses
@jimbo88 (231)
• Indonesia
15 Feb 09
Just take your problem more enjoy. Pressure is not good, but usually have another meaning above the reason. Your parents just want to give you the best way. So you can filter what must you do. If i become you i will find a boyfriend more early. It means when i am 22 years old, i must have a boyfriend. But anyway you have a dedication by yourself. So follow your heart. Good luck
@jimbo88 (231)
• Indonesia
15 Feb 09
I have principle that if i have a boyfriend more early, I wish i can solve my problem with him. So if i have a lot of problem I can solve it more easy because i have a good listener. You can find a boyfriend who can be a good listener. It will help your problem. If you and your boyfriend have good communication after solve any problem in your life or your relation in any years, automatically you can continue to marry with him. So why not to find boyfriend more early?
@sabina19841110 (69)
• China
15 Feb 09
Hi, dear. thank you for your support.many thanks.
but could you tell me why you want to find a boyfried more early?
give me some idea.
@mimico (3617)
• Philippines
15 Feb 09
Oh dear. I have the same problem. But I'm only 23 so my mom isn't bugging me so much about this. When I was in college she also didn't want me to get into a relationship. But now she's complaining about me not having a boyfriend. What's worse is that I'm on the chubby side and she keeps wanting me to lose weight so that boys will start courting me. Sheesh.
@sabina19841110 (69)
• China
15 Feb 09
i am so lucky that i met a same person with same touble problem.but you are lucier than me because you are younger than me,right? you have more chance to select more boys you like.i told you a very funny thing in our company. in our company,there is a very smart girl named crystal with 27-year-old.she is a bit shorter and have no boyfriend now.so our manger always said "crystal, you should be quick to find a boyfriend ,you are getting old"when we on the way to home in the car.sometimes, he said"you should not be critical for finding a boyfriend, just a male is ok".in such situation, our colleague will laugh totally. oh,my god, at that monment, i only keep silent. you know my feeling.
also i have same problem that my father always told me to eat little when we have lunch or dinner.he said i am too fat.oh.......
@KUSHANK55 (2437)
• India
14 Feb 09
hi dear i am a parent and you should realise that the parents will be worried for their kids and they wish that the daughters and sons get settled in life , earn good money and have stable incomes and get married to good people!!
get settled in good families of similar status and of course better way is to find a partner of your own choice!!
instead of finding a life partner for you on their own if you select on e of your choice they will be relieved of various problems!!
what do you say dear?
good luck for your good future !!
@sabina19841110 (69)
• China
15 Feb 09
hi, my friend. thank you very much for your positive idea.
i know, for parents, they devoted all their engery/life to children.they give their best things they think to childern. but sometimes, franklly, parents are ignoring children's thinkings,what we really like.
so this is a confused/contraditory matter. if i deal with it not very carefully, maybe i will hurt my parents.
dear friend, as a parent,i hope you can give me more ideas/suggentions in future.
@zhuhuifen46 (3483)
• China
15 Feb 09
I understand your feeling. It is annoying to be urged by anybody for things you yourself should be responsible for. But for various reasons, you just do not feel like it for the moment. That is understandable.
My suggestion is while focusing on your career development, give proper attention to this issue. "Doing the right thing at the right time." is usually a golden rule. You need to enjoy yourself not only from study and work, but from personal feelings. That is something you should not miss at the right time.
I heard that boys and girls are taking programs to learn skills in making friends. Love is not something of skills, it should be out of your own heart. Understand the concern of your parents and enjoy life in a balanced way. That is the best answer for yourself and for your parents.
@Sandy831203 (67)
• China
16 Feb 09
finding a person that you love each other really needs time and luck. But you may meet that boy and then tell your parents that the boy is not the one you want, even you already know the result. That way may the only one your parent can accept.
@reoko10 (578)
• United States
14 Feb 09
I think that it is up to you if you want to find a boyfriend or not, I say don't rush take your time and have fun with you life before you go down that road. I am only 22 going on 23 and kind of wish I would have waited until I had lived my life a bit, I am not saying my life is bad but now that I have two little girls it's always about them and really don't have any time for my self. My hubby is the best but I just wish I would have waited just a bit before I got with him. I just would like to know what it feel like to live on your on I moved in with my hubby right after I got out of high school and we're doing fine but I 'am missing that feeling of being on my own and I kind of wish I could get that back, So that part of my reason for saying take your time and don't let your parents make you get a boyfriend do it when you want to.
@vipinl (802)
• India
14 Feb 09
It would have been better if you have not given much attention to your parents saying stay away from boys when you were in college. Its in nature of parents that they behave like this.. but its upto children whether to take or not, and i found it bit strange too that if you can refuge them now.. then why you didn't refused when they said stay away from love when you were studying.
@Arjen07 (164)
• Romania
14 Feb 09
I'm 20 years old and my brother is 24. We have no pressure whatsoever from our parents. I'm sorry for you, I don't know how I would react to a situation like yours. Everytime I see a movie with parents like yours in it I have this feeling of throwing the TV out the window. You just be strong and do what you like with your life. That's the key to happiness.
