Second wives are concubines and men who marry divorcees are not true husbands
By tjades
@tjades (3591)
Jamaica
February 14, 2009 1:30pm CST
I was in a taxi a few days ago and two women were talking about their relationship experiences. One lady was apparently jilted by her true love who has now remarried. Based on what they were saying the former husband was miserable in his new marriage which is still pretty young and seems to regret leaving his first wife. They still correspond and she says she will always love him but would never take him back.
The other lady was of the opinion that the second wife will never be a true wife but a concubine as whoever you get married to first will always remain your true partner.
Her arguement was conflicting as her friend (the divorcee) asked her to explain herself... "Are you saying that I should somehow give him a chance or should have remained married to him after all that you know he put me through?"
Her answer was no but its just the way it is in her book. Second wives in the case of a divorce are not the real wives but concubines. She used the bible as a support for her view.
Whether or not you believe in the bible and its teachings do you believe that the first person you marry will somehow always be your true spouse?
I dont think so. I beleive that many persons marry for the wrong reason and some genuinely make a mistake and marry the wrong person.
It cant be right to allow one mistake to govern your life for as long as you live.
What is your view on this issue?
2 responses
@sedel1027 (17846)
• Cupertino, California
14 Feb 09
That is quite depressin gthat those ladies feel that way. I hope my 1st husband isn't my "true" husband, that would be horrible!
My secnod husband is really my soulmate and my true husband. My ex is someone I messed up with, but a good friend. we never should have been married.
1 person likes this
@LovesTravel (303)
• United States
14 Feb 09
There is another opinoin that a first marriage is really just a "starter marriage" in which both parties learn what it means to be part of a committed, long-term realtionship. Sometimes the first marriage endures. Sometimes it doesn't. Regardless, for those willing to learn, it provides lessons that can be applied later in life--either with the same partner or with another.
The whole concubine approach described above is demeaning to both partners. Moreover, it sounds to me as it applies some mighty peculiar interpretations on standard monotheistic theology (whatever that is).
Like each person, each marriage is unique. I happen to be married to my partner of 40 years, my first and only husband. But my marriage is no more special, no more sacred, and no more fulfilling than anyone else's successful union--it's not the number on the marriage continuum that counts; it's the quality of the relationship.
@tjades (3591)
• Jamaica
15 Feb 09
I never heard that one before but it is an interesting alternative view on the matter. Sometimes first marriages are really such a mess and not meant to last forever.
Congrats on your 40 years of marriage. I know its never a bed of roses so when two people are able to hold it together it is an achievement worthy of compliment.
