Can you be forced to fall out of love?

United States
February 22, 2009 9:52pm CST
Okay, I've been in love with one man for the past 4 years. We have 2 children together. He comes from a very complicated family background and all that. Well, we went and bought our wedding bands (he bought mine, and I bought his) And, then we went and bought our marriage license. We called around to different preachers to find someone to marry us, and, 2 weeks later he is married to someone else! I know, soap opera, right? Well, it get's better. When I next see him and get a chance to ask him why... he says he was forced to marry her. Well, considering our history and considering his past with his family. I'm inclined to believe him. But, my family is telling me that because he is married I need to fall out of love with him. They also had my kids taken away *I have 3 altogether* and they are telling me that if I don't quit loving him I'll never have my kids back and they will be adopted out. Grrrr. I am willing to say that I don't love him anymore for my kids sake, but can I really make myself not love him? Can you honestly force someone to not love someone anymore?
1 person likes this
3 responses
@jolasu (49)
• United States
23 Feb 09
No. And I honestly don't think it's fair to ask. It's possible to move on and move forward in life, but to stop caring or loving isn't a fair request or requirement. I can admit to loving in situations where I probably shouldn't, but I really don't care what other's think. Love isn't a feeling so much as it's a choice. I choose to believe in or choose not to based on my own perceptions. No one has a right to step in and tell me what to choose. That includes love. Regardless of whether I move on from a relationship or not, I'm the only one who can make the decision of wether or not the person still is worthy of my love. Choice's all about choice.
• United States
23 Feb 09
You totally speak my thoughts deep down. I do feel that there are more feelings involved than you speak up... because I don't think it would hurt so much in the face of what I now face if it were all choice. But, I do see what you are saying.
@Jezebella (1446)
• United States
13 Mar 09
I agree it is possible to move on and get on with your life, but I don't think you can ever stop loving someone. It isn't something you can turn on and off and I don't think that it is fair for the family to make you choose and take the kids away just because you love someone.
@lilaclady (28240)
• Australia
23 Feb 09
I don't believe you can control feelings, love is a very powerful emotion, personally I think you are better off without him if he would allow this treatment of you, he is after all in control of his own path and as far as your kids are concerned surel the law is on your side, people even the father can not just take your children away...i hope things work out for you, if it was me i would fight for my kids back and then not let him see them..he is weak to let someone lead him this way...
• United States
23 Feb 09
Well, the law isn't on my side, because they used the law against me. As in called me in and said that an accident my daughter had was intential. Well, because she had the burn mark from the accident... they took that as verification and took my children. But, I do see what you mean. I don't know for sure if he is a weakling. But, I do need to put my foot down with him and test him for how weak he is. Haha.. but on the other hand. I need to at least have the apperance of moving on so that my family will leave me alone and I get my children back.
@besthope44 (12145)
• India
29 Aug 10
Love is a great feeling which has to be expressed. If you find it true, never fail to convey, thats a tribute to the love in real.