My ex-husband's wife is a major problem

June 2, 2006 4:49pm CST
She ( I will refer to her as DD) has interferred in our lives in so many ways I cannot count!!! I was married for seven years to my ex and had one daughter who is now almost 17. I have physical custody of our daughter and we have joint legal custody. DD has gone so far as to call doctors, dentists, orthodontists, schools, etc and demand that they communicate with her in regard to appointments, contact lens orders, etc. She calls the eye doctor and cancels appointments I have made for my daughter. The office staff complies with her wishes as I am sure she threatens legal action. In addition, she sends letters that state that I am incompentent and cannot be trusted to give them the correct info. The whole thing is humiliating and infuriates me. It is all about control. I don't have any more ideas - she has become more and more of a problem as time goes on. Any ideas? My ex husband does nothing to try to control her. I don't communicate with him anymore because we can't seem to have a decent conversation.
5 responses
@RitaS8 (384)
• United States
10 Jan 07
You might want to check and see if they have any forms you can fill out stating that she isn't someone who has authority to access that information about your daughter. I had to do that with my daughter's school and my husband's first shirt about not having any contact with my mother-in-law. The doctors should have a form about who can and cannot make/cancel appointments and who they are to contact and who can't call about your daughter.
@enigma28 (19)
• India
25 Dec 06
i think you should talk to her face to face and solve the problem and if still nnot solved then take legal action against her.after all your not at any fault
@LBS1178 (317)
• United States
7 Oct 06
It sounds like this woman is sick in the head. She obviously thinks she can control everything that you do, and probably controls everything your ex does, which is why he does nothing about the problem. Does your daughter see whats going on? If she does, than in one more year, she wont have to see "DD" anymore and basically, you really wont have to deal with them anymore anyway once shes 18 right? Im just curious about your daughters view on this
• United States
16 Aug 06
it is all out of jealousy. Obviously the step mom wants to be in control and try to show you that she is a part of your daughters life too. You need to tell her to either back off or compromise with you. Ask her what her intentions are that she is doing this. Or if your daughter talks to her have her ask why her appointments are always being cancelled etc... Sounds like this woman needs to go back to Jr High that seems like it would fit her mentality better
@Andy77 (432)
• United States
16 Aug 06
What a pain! In one more year, your daughter will be an adult, legally. Have your daughter take over scheduling the appointments and so forth. Have your daughter contact each doctor for a form that lists who may receive information about her. She should fill out the forms and make sure that the office staff know that only you and your daughter are to receive information. If one does give information to the stepmother, file a complaint. Tell your daughter not to share information about her appointments, etc. with her stepmother. The school, however, has a legal obligation to share information with the child's father.