I don't know how to start telling them...

@Zaphan (712)
Philippines
March 1, 2009 11:08am CST
I have my girlfriend and I love her so much, but in unexpected situation my girlfriend is pregnant, I don't want to abort it and she too, but the problem is how to tell her parents that she was pregnant, her parents has a high expectation on her, and I don't want to disappoint them, but then there It was we made it... how will I start to tell her mother and father about this?? I've never met her parents before, and besides I am still studying, but our College Institution has a plan to hire me as one of their employee, I want to seek for a better job that will help me left up my personality to them... pls. help need a little advice to start stitching the words to come up with a sentence to explain this to her parents.
4 people like this
20 responses
• United States
1 Mar 09
If there are no plans to abort this child. telling them needs t be done now. If she is still living at home. Think of what may happen. Can you and this girl support rent on your own. Can she manage school and a child. There is a lot to think about here. Your not thinking about it all. Your still studying as you said. Your looking for a better job. There is a clear sign here your both not ready. Good luck and tell them when you finally thought of it all. When that happens just go to them in a calm and easy tone and tell them right out.
1 person likes this
@Zaphan (712)
• Philippines
1 Mar 09
I've been thinking about that lately....Thank you for the responce
2 people like this
• United States
1 Mar 09
your very welcome
1 person likes this
• United States
1 Mar 09
In my opinion, a baby is a miracle, and not bad news. I think if you approach them with excitement and let them know your plans are to stick around, get married (if that is your plan) and be a father, it will be more of a happy occasion. If you were to go in acting ashamed or like you have done something wrong, I think there's more of a chance it will be viewed negatively. Nothing says you need to tell them today, either. You can take some time to get used to the idea yourself before you tell her parents.
1 person likes this
@Zaphan (712)
• Philippines
1 Mar 09
Thank you! that will serve as a big hope for both of us!
1 person likes this
• United States
1 Mar 09
You are very welcome, and congrats again!
1 person likes this
@vasavi20 (293)
• India
1 Mar 09
I hope i might help you...i feel u just approach her parents and tell then that u r interested in getting married with her and convince them and don't let them know that she is pregnant..reveal this truth as a last chance.....if u let them in the beginning itself they cant take it...its very hard for parents to take that situation and i feel that u need to work with ur college ..till u get a better opportunity b'coz even her parents will ask abt ur job and all other details...if at least u have this offer in ur hand...it will b helpful when u take to her parents...and all my best wishes for u.....and try to talk to them as soon as possible..never let them know this by a third person...make sure that all the very best my friend..if u don't like my views..forget it...and b cool and confident when u approach her parents
1 person likes this
@Zaphan (712)
• Philippines
1 Mar 09
thank you for your time.... I appreciate it very much...
1 person likes this
@vasavi20 (293)
• India
1 Mar 09
i hope u like my words..and finish it as soon as possibile...dont drag for longer tie...its very risky
1 person likes this
@Margajoe (4722)
• Germany
1 Mar 09
Well things happen. They were young once too. I think the best way to tell them, is to just out and say it. It would be nice if they took it lightly, but I think they will need some time to adjust to the situation. So, don't be to hard on yourself. And don't go changing your personality for others. That is so wrong. You are who you are, you are doing your best. That is enough. I made that mistake so long in my life, always being what others expected of me. And now I am 42. Where are all these people I adjusted too? I have learned how to be myself, and guess what? I like me this way. Congratulations with the baby, hope all is healthy and well. You take care of the family. Meaning you, your girlfriend and your baby. Don't worry about what others think, a baby is always a blessing. Take care.
@Zaphan (712)
• Philippines
3 Mar 09
my forehead is sweating! hahaha! sometimes abortion cross my mind, but there is something that hinders me to do it... maybe it's God! or maybe the baby... I am preparing to face her mother by next week.. this is a precious birthday gift to have.
1 person likes this
@Margajoe (4722)
• Germany
4 Mar 09
Abortion will only cause you pressure in your relationship. Especially for the mother, she will get guilt trips later on in life, and that is bad for your relationship. It does not always happen, but most couples experience this. Guilt is a hard thing to live with. Be careful. I do think you both will make the right decision. Follow your heart, and try to think positive. Remember, this baby is made out of love. Take care.
• Philippines
2 Mar 09
This reminds me of the time when the girlfriend of my elder brother got pregnant. We didn't know how to break the news to my father who was the only person who didn't know about this pregnancy issue. My brother was in the medical school then and her girlfriend just passed the nurses board. it was funny when we broke the news to our father. we expected him to get angry, to send my brother out of the house, stop sending my brother to school and other violent reaction. Would you believe, my father just said. . . that's a blessing. At last, I'm a grandfather now. You should have gotten married years back!. . . . Who knows, your future parents in law might say the same. . . Break the news before other people will break it to them.
@Zaphan (712)
• Philippines
3 Mar 09
hope it they would! Thanks a lot!
• Philippines
2 Mar 09
first, I would like to say that I am mighty proud that the both of you choose to keep the baby. so many couples out there choose the easy way out. and for that alone I think you would be fit parents for this kid. the fact that you are choosing to take responsibility for your actions tells me that you'll become great parents. as for how you're gonna tell her parents. it's probably gonna be hard and nervewracking. expect that they'll be angry at the both of you for quite some time. but like my mom would always say, they cant be angry forever. in time everything will be okay. so just hang on to that thought, that one day everything will be okay. keep the faith!
@Zaphan (712)
• Philippines
3 Mar 09
Thank you for that flattering comment! I hope so.. even though I am not ready enough to face it, it will be a big challenge for us both! Thank you again@!
• United States
1 Mar 09
Hi Zaphan, I know it was too hard both of you in a young aged was already in having a situation like this specially you both still studying,correct me if i wrong.But it's not the time to blame both of you for being aggressive of curiosity in life. Remember, married is a lifetime commitment and married isn't like a food that you can put in your mouth that you can easy to spit out if it is really so much hot. As my advice, meet your girlfriend parents and you both tell them that their daughter was pregnant already but even you still studying you are willing to marry her not because your girlfriend or their daughter already pregnant but you loved her and willing to give a better life with your future child to her. Tell heartily and honestly what you felt about her. I am sure they will understand both of you.
@Zaphan (712)
• Philippines
3 Mar 09
yah... Thank you!
• Philippines
2 Mar 09
Just simply confront them and be honest that you will get to marry your girl and will be a good father and provider to your family. What else to do, but the tummy will get bigger soon, you cannot hide the truth from that. It is much better to talk to your parents about it, and then along with your parents, you go to the parents of your girlfriend and then talk to them in a fashionably manner. I do think they will resolve this problem too. I know that this is not easy at first, but you have to go through with this my friend. Be a man and face the problem. Don't quit on something and then you will regret doing later.
• United States
2 Mar 09
just come out and tell them. thats the most sdult thing to do. waisting time and thinking of ways to make it sound gud is just gonna put more pressure on you and ur girl.
• United States
2 Mar 09
Yes that can be a heavy weight thing to have on your mind. You and your girlfriend i think just need to know that you both have eachother are adults and you are going to raise this child together. Her parents wether they understand or not will just have to except the fact that you and her are one and will do ok together with this and hopeefully they will understand I wish you the best of luck and congrads to you both.
• India
2 Mar 09
There is no substitute to being truthful. I know it may generate a lot of initial anger and fury, but what is done is done. It can not be undone nor can it be hidden. Be prepared for fireworks. Now the only option left is to come clean and tell them the whole truth. without making it public. it is their reputation which is of major concern to parents. Their reputation should not be tarnished. Get married as soon as possible so that the delivery takes place as late after marriage as possible so as not to draw too much attention.
@Archie0 (4676)
2 Mar 09
this is indeed a very serious problem.. things many times dont go well but could be done well. anyways about the parents its going to be tough ofcourse but then now they cant even deny.if you dont want to abort are you sure you can take the responsibility of your girl and later on with the child?? its a very big responsibility, think over it dont make your decisions hurt someone later on its a lifetime question first think over this what is important then later on lets discuss about the parents.. take care
@fino1982 (55)
• China
2 Mar 09
You said you love her very much, so you should be responsilbe for her and your babay. You can discuss with your girlfriend whether to have the baby based on your situation. Both of you don't want to abort it, so you should talk with her parents, and ask them to help you. They will forgive you.
• Philippines
2 Mar 09
better tell her parents as soon as possible since it is not you who made this..you're not alone in this situation..you and your gf are both involve..so be honest and be responsible with the thing you've done..at first they might get mad but try to understand them but still it is already there..the only thing they can do is to accept...after all the baby is a gift...shouldn't be a thing to be mad about but instead..a gift to be treasured..^^
• Philippines
2 Mar 09
"... the truth will set you free" John 8:32 I think you should tell her parents as soon as possible. Besides, her pregnancy would be obvious when her tummy get bigger, don't wait that her parents discover it first than you telling it to them, it will be an insult, and they might think you are not serious for that matter. And dont' ever cosider aborting that baby.
@cindyhxf (1447)
• China
2 Mar 09
Hi friend,your case is similar with my coz's.she is 20 but she was pregnant for two monthes and worried about parents.her boyfriend and she wanted to keep the baby.she called me and asked for some suggestion.i just said "if both of you loved each other much and prepared enought to face funture life together.then go to tell your parents.maybe they will get mad coz both of you still young.but you are adult now ,you have to face any problems cause by you." for sure,my coz's parents got mad that time.but they accept the truth at last. Oh,i said much here.what i want to say just try to face to your problems ,don't be afraind .you will be husband or father soon if you want the baby.best wishes!
• India
2 Mar 09
hai ZAPHAN, i wanna tell u that u loved her and made her complete but it was not perfect time but no problem ,u people first go for marriage and afterwards go to her parents and tell them that u love her and wanna marry her if they dont agree then tel them that u both r married and ur marriage must be legally approved. BRO.baby is gift of god so kindly don't go for abortion and live a happy life and give all happiness . BEST OF LUCK.
@jbrooks0127 (2329)
• United States
2 Mar 09
As long as you show them that you love their daughter and you will do all that is in your power to do well by her and your new baby you should be fine. Yes it will come as a shock to them but for most parents today this is not completely unexpected. Not at all what they want but not something they would think could never happen. Of course this will be a very difficult meeting. They don't know you. How much has your girlfriend told them about you? The more they know from her the better. If this meeting is the first they have heard of you then that will be a big problem. But most girls can't wait to tell their parents about someone they love. No magic words here. You just have to prove to them you are the kind of man that will do well by their daughter and you should do well. This is one of those times in life where you just have to play it as it goes. There is no good way to plan what to say here. You just have to have the confidence that it will be okay because you love thier daughter and will do well by her and your baby. I wish you well.
@SomeCowgirl (32276)
• United States
2 Mar 09
I think that the best thing for you to do is to tell the parents straight out and let them know that you and your gf are willing to take the responsibility and are preparing yourselves. Tell them of you bettering your education and employment and that you will do all that you can to take care of the baby. Let them know you are responsible. I don't that this will work for everyone, but it usually is a good impression! Congratulations to you and your gf!
• United States
1 Mar 09
zaphan I feel your anguish on this, however there is no easy way to say the words the two of you must share with both of your parents. Dont beat yourself up thoe accidents or no accidents happen in the game of love-making and often consequences arise and have to be delt with. It will be an life altering change but one I promise you will live thru and even grow from. Just remember now you have to really step up to the plate and show all your responsibility you'll find the right thing and words to say from the heart to everyone involved. If you and your girlfriend both agree let me share and make you clear on she will need your upmost support ok. Be encourage dont work yourself into frenzie and the right way will come, but time is of essence depending on how much time has already surpassed. Also may I encourage you to stay in school the two of you and complete to the fullest your education it still can be done and dont feel yourself or allow anyone else to make you feel it's the end of your world or life because by far, it may be just the beginning of something new and beautiful as well.