What to do when everything else goes wrong?

Nigeria
March 12, 2009 11:07am CST
I've heard people say,"I've been patient enough! We shouldn't have met in the first place", or "She never used to be like this!", or even "I gave him my all, practically scarificed my life for his, and yet see how I get paid back!". I'm sure you've heard or even been a victim of the above circumstances. Needless to say, I've been there myself, and it was an extremely terrible experience. The question is, what do you do when you appear to have gone the mighty long way(kids and all, uno?), and then you start seeing signs from your partner you only imagined possible on TV and fiction novels? A lot of people take the seemingly easy route:back-off. However, from studied experience, it eventually does more harm than good, tearing several sides of the union apart. What do you do when you see signs from him or her that is contrary to the "Altar confession"?
2 people like this
8 responses
@stacyv81 (5904)
• United States
12 Mar 09
well, I did back off when I was feeling a little neglected, I backed off and I started finding ways to entertain myself, as he told me I was too needy....Well, funny thing is now I think he is too needy...lol..but I give him the attention he wants, because I feel that is what I should do. So, for me backing off worked. I think that he was overwhelmed with the amount of people that wanted his attention, we have three kids, he was working on a car projects with a few friends, and I think he felt pulled in all directions, so I backed off, and he figured out on his own what was important. And now we're good! =)
• Nigeria
13 Mar 09
i see..., well I know we're not all of the same type, in terms of level of endurance and patience, but I'm glad it worked out.
@stacyv81 (5904)
• United States
14 Mar 09
It definitely did take a lot of time and patience, but I think anything worth having is worth fighting for ya know?
@hanah87 (1846)
• Malaysia
29 Mar 09
I will quiet and calm down myself.
• Nigeria
29 Mar 09
yea, being patient with yourself and your partner does a lot of good. That's only if both of you are of like minds.
@hotsummer (10449)
• Philippines
13 Mar 09
i think that you should try to save the relationship. cause you have waited long enough and let it give it more one try. if nothing to work after many tries. then it is start to leave the situation or the person to start a new start and try to look elsewhere where you find someone who will deserve more of your love.
• Nigeria
14 Mar 09
Yea, you're right. But moving on depends on how far you've gone already. You don't wanna severely alter the lives of your children by separating, do you?
@silverjam (969)
• United States
13 Mar 09
If ever this happen the first move I'd be making is to have a heart-to-heart talk w/ my partner. We should be talking things that affected us in many ways. I guess it would only take a good and proper communication to iron things out. I guess poor and lack of communication is the primary root of misunderstanding that leads to a more serious conflict in relationships. Everything can be done by proper communication; each party must "lay all the cards in the table" and plan for a possible solution before calling it quits.
• Nigeria
14 Mar 09
Easily the best post so far! Nothing works in life between people of diverse characteristics without an avenue for proper communication and verbal reasoning. Most women complain that their partner doesn't listen to them, or even when he manages to, misunderstands them entirely. Ladies feel before they think, Men think before they feel. The closer the ratio, the more efficient for both parties.
• India
13 Mar 09
dear life is like that only . u should take the thigs the way they come . No point in taking tensions.
• China
13 Mar 09
I have heard a story about a girl who lost her two legs in an traffic accident but she never givre up to keep on living a normal life after many difficut she success at the end she married and live a better live,she may never feel about this happy live if she didn't experience that . so when we face trouble,may be everything goes wrong ,it can not stop your future
• Nigeria
13 Mar 09
yea, I've heard of a similar story. It pays to stay committed to your core values.
@subha12 (18453)
• India
13 Mar 09
I should confess that I get very irritated. I am totally lost when things are like this.I just can't hold the nerves. I feel down and dejected. Or may be I think I am only bestowed with bad lucks.
• Nigeria
13 Mar 09
Na, forget the bad luck syndrome. It can be really difficult to discern at times, but I've come to realize that it sometimes due to the "smoldering flame", letting other seemingly important factors take control of your life, and absorb you of your filial responsibility.
@coldmoon (1092)
• France
13 Mar 09
I found one thing goes wrong in your mood while I was reading your post. "I gave him my all.... yet see how I get paid"( first your word "scarificed" made me misunderstand as "scarified" , ha ha). Oh, dear. If you say sacrifice your life for someone, waiting get paid back, it must not be a love but a spirit investment. And as the other investement, you must optimize the profit and reduce risks and loss. It's important to not overestimate your endurance.