Things To Do When You're Incredibly Bored
March 24, 2009 10:18am CST
*Most of these have been personally tested to be sure of positive results. However, use with discretion, as audiences may vary (i.e. watch for security guards, law enforcement, bikers named "Butch", anyone on life support and mothers of more than two children). 1. Throw a surprise party for yourself. Turn off all the lights, then turn them on and yell "Surprise!" Act shocked. 2. Color outside the lines. 3. Go to grocery store in a bathrobe, slippers, and a towel around your head. Rubber ducky optional. 4. Invent strange and unusual diseases with symptoms such as boils and welts, strange hacking sounds, change of skintone (bright pastels work best), dillusions, non-functioning limbs, etc). Then pretend you have them. Make sure they're highly contagious, then cough and lean on people. 5. Dress in a black cape and mask and pretend to be the Phantom of the Opera. Also good for most other musicals and superheros as well (knowledge of theme songs a great asset). 6. Turette's syndrome. 7. Go up to a mall and conduct a survey using such questions as "What is your favorite smurf?", and "How many licks does is take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop?", and "Which do you prefer: Original or Extra Crispy?" 8. Read backwards. 9. Speak a foreign language while shopping. Ask lots of questions and act frustrated when they can't understand you. 10. Glue money to the floor and watch people try to pick it up. 11. Go up to a salesman and ask "May I help you?" 12. Go into a building and set all the clocks ahead one hour (or behind, if you're really bold). 13. Go to a park bench and walk around it in a circle. If someone asks what you're doing, tell them that you are making the earth turn (SOMEone has to keep it going). 14. Go door to door selling individual M&M's (or Post-It-Note pads, paper, grass samples, toothpaste, cereal-by-the-flake or gram, or anything else you think might be amusing). 15. Pretend to have a split personality. Maybe even three. Talk to yourself. 16. While riding a bus, everytime the bus driver applies the brake, yell, "We're going to crash! We're all going to die!" and duck in the fetal position under your seat. 17. Jam miniature marshmallows up your nose and sneeze them out. See how many you can do at once. 18. When someone says "Have a nice day," tell them you have other plans. 19. Make a list of things to do that you've already done. 20. Fill out your tax forms using Roman Numerals. 21. Leaf through a "National Geographic" and draw underwear on the natives. 22. Pay your electric bill in pennies. 23. Drive to work in reverse. 24. Polish your car with ear wax. 25. Braid the hairs in each nostril. 26. Write a short story using alphabet soup. 27. Stare at people through the tines of a fork and pretend they're in jail. 28. Go up to people, ask their name, and give them a nametag. 29. Communicate in mime. 30. Count how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll pop. 31. Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 minutes & then suddenly stop and look suspiciously at everyone who looks at you. 32. Type using only appendages other than your hands (nose, feet, elbow, ears, etc). 33. Do your math homework with an abacus. 34. Learn all the world capitals 35. Write a novel 36. See how hot various items can get in the microwave(ie. olives, grapes, etc.) 37. Make lists. Movies you've seen, unusual names, people you've met in your lifetime, kinds of writing utensils, etc 38. Alphabetize your books, cds, movies, etc 39. Color-coordinate your wordrobe 40. Compose songs using a touch tone phone 41. Disassemble items and try to put them back together (i.e. pens, TV, radio, calculator, cars, etc.) 42. Build a card house 43. Stick plungers on the wall 44. Find out how close you can get your elbow to your mouth 45. Measure things 46. Order junk-mail 47. Phone your house from your house 48. Hold your breath for as long as possible 49. Change all of your money to pennies 50. See what interesting things you can find in your nose 51. Sing the alphabet backwards 52. Make a big ball of rubber bands, tin foil, gum, etc. 53. Decorate your bedroom with the foil off of gum wrappers 54. Play ping-pong with yourself 55. Make imaginary friends 56. Grow a Chia-pet 57. Flip a coin -- best 51 of 101 58. Cook or bake something by Jello 59. See how much tabasco sauce or hot peppers you can eat without drinking water 60. Put your name on everything 61. Label everything 62. In alphabetical order, list all the words you know 63. Call every number in the phone book and see how many friends you can make 64. Talk to telemarketors 65. Read the dictionary 66. Count your toes (hey, you never know) 67. Drink 12 shots of Vodka. Count your toes without falling over. Compare results to recent counting. 68. Build a spaceship out of household appliances. Fly. 69. Start a business. Sell grass, toothpicks, lamps, etc.