What should i do in this first relationship of mine?

United States
March 25, 2009 3:37am CST
So I'm 20 right now, almost 21, and I finally have my first girlfriend. I'm so happy right now and I'm sure that I've never been this happy before. I've only been dating the girl for six days, but things are going VERY good so far. I know some of the people who read this will probably think I'm corny and don't know what I'm talking about when I say "VERY good so far." because everyone would probably assume that anyone in their first relationship would say things are very good. But what I mean is, that every moment I've tried to be extremely confident, sweet, unpredictable, or anything else I've tried to do, has been accomplished the EXACT way that I've wanted it to. I'm very thankful and happy about this. I've gone on dates before with other girls, but things never turned out so good, either because they didn't like me because I was unconfident or I just didn't know how to talk to girls at all during some of the dates, I just knew enough to get the date, but not accomplish any type of connection with them. Now that I feel I've learned how to talk to girls more and become more confident, I have my girlfriend now, and I hope that things end up as good as possible. I'm surprised I would type this too, but some people might find it cute and be happy they read it or something, lol. One thing I love about this relationship is that we're both virgins. I'm so glad I'm with one, because when you're almost 21 and still a virgin, you don't think it's going to be easy for you to end up with a 20 year old virgin girlfriend. :) Anyway, that last paragraph was pretty long, lol. Here's the question though, when people look at me, believe it or not, (Probably not because I'm a virgin DUH! LOL) Well this is true though, so if you don't believe me, it really doesn't matter I guess, just please do. I'm not trying to sound cocky or anything. Well, I am an extremely attractive male, lucky enough to have a face that looks amazing by traditional standards, and I have an extremely built body also, and then I'm also six feet tall. So physically I look amazing, not that I'm trying to brag, it just has a lot to do with my question. My girlfriend doesn't look extremely good by media standards, I mean she is fairly beautiful, but she is a little overweight (Yes only a little, but it is enough to appear obvious that she doesn't have a very skinny body.) And then her face, by media standardsdoesn't look the absolute best either, she has a very attractive face, but I guess her nose looks a little strange. (By media standards, meaning that it isn't good I guess.zzz. but i don't want to say that, but media standards probably doesn't make sense to everyone. What I mean by media standards, is the way that television, movies, famous people, have made it so that certain things are ugly, even though I don't care about that.) So because of these things, whenever I tell her that she's beautiful, she says that I'm lying to her, or that it isn't true. I hate this, I want to tell her she's beautiful and have her believe it. Today when we were going on a walk, I told her she was beautiful again, and she basically told me again that it isn't true, in fact, this time she actually broke eye contact with me immediately and said no, then she got really nervous. I truely do believe that she's extremely beautiful, because I know what I want, and later on in the night, I was finally able to convince her that I do feel that way, but she told me that, all she cares about is that I think she's beautiful and that it's enough. She told me that she doesn't need to think that she's beautiful herself. "You thinking I'm beautiful is enough." she said. All I said back was, "No it isn't." Then we talked about other things and the rest of the night was great. But I want more than anything right now, to convince her that she is beautiful, and I don't know how to do it. I feel like I must accomplish this.Can anyone give me an idea or advice to accomplish this? I would be so happy if this could happen.
1 person likes this
3 responses
@agmamayo (804)
• Philippines
25 Mar 09
Being in your first relationship is a cool thing to happen to a person who felt the beauty of being inlove for the first time with your partner loving you too. You need to treasure that relationship, for its a gift from God. Just be honest to yourself and to your girlfriend. You don't need to be handsome or beautiful enough to be in a relationship. Whats important is that you trust each other, know the strength and weaknesses, and be honest to one another. Keep an open communication, let her feel respect from you, and protect her at all cost. Treat her to be the most important person in your life, share your thoughts and ideas about why you love her so much telling her that beauty is better seen in a persons heart. keep it up my friend and wish you all the best.
1 person likes this
• United States
25 Mar 09
Thankyou for you're very kind response. :) I really appreciate what you wrote. I also realize that beauty is better seen in the persons heart, I would like her to believe that she's beautiful in every way, but you've made the inner beauty thing seem more of an obvious approach now. If anyone else thinks they might know how I can convince her that she looks beautiful too, that would be great, but you've really given me another goal now. I want her to realize that she IS an amazing person anyway, that her feelings and emotions are extremely powerful. Thanks for not answering my question, lol, and instead making me realize that I don't have to convince her that she's beautiful inside and out, but perhaps instead amazing in her own way on the inside. Thanks for your prespective, have a great night. :)
1 person likes this
@subha12 (18441)
• India
25 Mar 09
I think as you are in new relationship, things are looking like this.May be someone told her anyday she is not beautiful Now when you told her so, she is not ready to accept that fact. You have to be gentle to her.
1 person likes this
@skysuccess (8858)
• Singapore
25 Mar 09
powerbrokenape, This is what you get when you put two complete strangers together in something we call relationship, with love as the element to keep you two in unison: differences. And in the end, it's about discovering more of yourself, as much as your other half. You must understand that your belief is exclusive only to you and vice-versa. To change a belief, personality or character might be just a little difficult, thus the easier option is always to compromise on something that is workable in your relationship to keep it functioning. It's not so much about the work, the stress or everything else that got implicated into your relationship - it's about knowing that despite the individual differences, how is it that you are going to live harmoniously with her while understanding that you two are but separate beings. Find a good time and communicate to her about your thoughts (not problems) about this relationship and beauty issues and allow her the chance to share with you her's. There are times where it is right to look at things with our hearts than our eyes. Perceptions are bound to clash, but at least when you keep this open as a known problem, you pave a opening for possible solution, compromising when the occasion calls for it. Sweeping it under the carpet or harboring on your own prerogatives will only bring about deeper frustration and proliferates internal resentment. Remember, as the saying goes: "Love is not about looking at each other; but looking together at one collective direction". Take care and have a nice day.