do you believe in reincarnation/rebirth...?
March 25, 2009 10:57am CST
i consider myself quite spiritually in tune or spiritually aware,or,i have a hightened sense of spiritualness and i'm exceptional as far as being intuitive. this dont help me much with getting a job though unfortunately so therefore,i'm not of this world.i ultimately,wasnt made for the world.i often desire for my life to end even though i'm simply not the type to literally become suicidal in the blatant based sense. its just that,i do desire to leave this world alot of times.and alot of times i feel incredibly bitter about everything and i just cant help it.i do not feel positive in general.i rarely feel optimistic.everything in my thought patterns always comes down to how meaningless my life has become and how bitter i am and how great it would be if my life ended even though i'm too chicken to be even contemplating suicide. i just go around bitter alot and i think about becomming a boxer but then i realize i would need lasic eye surgery first and i cant afford that and i would probably bleed too much as a boxer and maybe my eyelid would get sliced or i'd get thumbed. oh heck,,...for the love of god allready,i just want a job!...a job that i can do and stay at like the good ole days instead of these temp production jobs that require you to be like a droid and be all stressed out and have a killed back after the shift and you realize,...heck,i'm too old for this crap. i do ponder rebirth and reincarnation quite a bit...i sense somehow that i've been here before in other human bodies...the soul is eternal afterall and who is to say that this is ones first time in this world...? i would rather go to heaven after i die of course but somehow,i get the feeling that i do not deserve heaven enough and i still have things to do over the span of many more lives on earth or the new earth which is supposed to arrive pretty shortly actually.I do believe in all types of spirituality though,from resurrection to reincarnation to whatever else.i believe that my dreams are taking place in a spiritual realm because they are too far beyond what my little brain could ever concoct or create.people say,oh,the mind is an incredible thing...well,yes and no,and my dreams are too spiritual to be of the mind and they do give signs of things like clues and numbers to look for as indicative signs to look for during my waking hours and things miraculously come into play and coincide with my prophetic like dream signs. thing is though...i really just want to land a decent job that i can do and stay at for a prolonged period of time so i'm not begging family for money and being so pathetic like that...it is so incredibly disgruntling to live like this and i miss everything about the old days so very much...i'll be 39 in may but i may as well be going on 89 or something like that.jobs just dont want me.i think that they feel i am damaged goods perhaps or shop worn.society wants me to become a street bum or maybe a trucker but no way i can become a trucker.i would fail at the training refresher that they all require.i would get sent home and sent a big fat bill i cannot payoff because i'm wayyyy below standard poverty level at this point. do i just apply for unemployment at this point?...i tried it awhile ago and they said i wasnt eligible.this world is nearing the end perhaps but definately,my life is certainly nearing an end because of society and how its failed miserably at balancing everything and everybody,jobwise and etc,etc. I feel so desperate it is horrible and a stupid terrible rotten stinken nightmare at this point.i feel maddeningly frustrated and i dont know if any on here can relate even just a tad bit.perhaps someone can offer some substaintially worthwhile advice and maybe even some spiritually derived consultation. I just think an awfull alot,an unusually high amount of thought pertaining to my next life...its always about my next life...like,hmmm,what will i be like in my next life and how will things pan out in my next life,what kind of breaks and bad breaks in the next life and how will i handle life in the next life.how strong or weak will i be brainwise and physical wise in my next life.will i feel stupidly and ignorantly immortal at 18-22 years old in my next life.will i make stupid decisions in my next life.and when will my next life finally begin because this life has nothing more at all to offer me so it may as well come about very very soon!