Does your life have to stop because your partner chose not to be in it?

March 28, 2009 12:28pm CST
My wife and I have been married for 10 years. We have a daughter. Sadly, after 10 years together we have slowly been drawing apart. She does her thing, and I do mine. Although I'd still prefer to do stuff with her and spend time with her she on the other hand prefers to spend time with her friends instead. She works at a department store which occupies most of her week except Wednesdays which is her day off. As such I purposely clear my calendar on that day so I could spend time with her. But again, she'd rather spend that day with her friends than with me. So, I decided to go on with my life and do the things I love to do and need to do instead. I figured why should my life have to stop just because she chose not to be a part of it. Why should I be miserable when I could enjoy life and not just exist. But then I also got to thinking maybe it was wrong of me to do that as well. Was I wrong to decide to continue living life to the full just because my wife chose not to participate in it?
1 person likes this
2 responses
@jbrooks0127 (2326)
• United States
9 Apr 09
No you are absolutly right to do this. The one thing you need to gaurd against however is are you doing it because you want to or is it done to spite, or get even with her. That trap is very easy to fall into and if that is the reason then both of you are running away from each other as fast as you can. On that one day that she has open take her to breakfast or whatever you need to do to be alone with her and talk this thing out. While it is normal to do things apart it is quite another thing to prefer that. If she has a choice to do things with her friends or with you and always chooses her friends there is something very wrong with your relationship. For you to then turn and do the very same thing may make you feel better but it does not solve the problem and eventually you both will wonder who that person is that you see once in awhile. That is never good for a marriage. If you don't know the reason why she does these things you need to find out. It will be something you will have to face sooner or later. The sooner the better as it may very well save your marriage.
@Jezebella (1446)
• United States
31 Mar 09
why not ask her about it. If that is her day off ask if she would like to go out for a date that day and spend time to reconnect and fall in love all over again. I think sitting down and talking or asking her for a date would help.