is your boyfriend/ husband is jealous of your success?

Philippines
March 31, 2009 3:24am CST
have you ever been (or are you in) a relationship where your boyfriend is jealous of your achievements? does he sulk or get depressed when you get a higher score in tests, or when you get a raise, or when you get a promotion? what do you do if your partner is envious of your success? is this a dealbreaker for you (that is, do you end the relationship)? if not, will it and should it ever come to a point where enough is enough? if so, what circumstances will make you say it's over? have you seen close friends or loved ones in this kind of relationship? what do you do? do you try to convince them to do something, or do you sit back and watch? do you think a relationship can still work even with one party being jealous of the other's successes? what should be done exactly?
2 people like this
14 responses
@aisaellis22 (6449)
• United States
31 Mar 09
Hello sandragellar! My husband never ever got jealous of my success. He is even happy for me. Actually, he wants me to be successful and that he's helping me out. I also don't get jealous of my husband's success. In fact, I'm happy about it too. A relationship where there is a competition between the couple of who is the best is not healthy. So far, I haven't seen this kind of couple among my family and friends.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
31 Mar 09
a supportive husband/ wife, i believe, is the best choice we will all make. i'm glad you are not in a relationship where envy is an issue... ^_^
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@ajithlal (14109)
• India
15 Nov 12
I am happy that you got a supportive husband in your life. It is always good to have a supportive partner who is not jealous and love and care for other person in lives. This will help the relationships to be successful.
@ria123 (1)
10 Nov 12
I was searching for such a thread.My boyfriend used to be very helpful and taught me everything during my b.tech. But after i got admission into an elite institute he has changed totally.Initially he was happy.then he changed.he is jelous most of the times.though he himself is in an even better institute than me.he always tries to find negative things about my college. I think its in men's genes than they cannot imagine their woman in a high position. If one is a housewife she will never notice it.But when you are in same field real colors show.This matter hurt me so much.When i can be proud and super excited about his success why cant he????
1 person likes this
2 May 09
Hi I cam here looking for an answer as I am in a similar situation. He refuses to acknowledge when something good happens professionally. I am a bit older than him and also took a lot of risks early in my career. I tried talking to him and he accepted that he cannot and will not respond unless he achieves the same success in his career. I hope he gets there quickly - else I don't know how long I can take the rejection.
1 person likes this
2 May 09
Hi I came across your post because I am facing something similar. I am older than my boyfriend and also took a lot of risks early in my career. Everything has started to pay off and things could not get any better in my career than they are. Everyone around me - parents, friends, colleagues even strangers are proud of my work and often encourage me except him. I tried talking to him and he did admit on two occasions that he could not feel happy for me until he reached the same level and feels he has arrived in his career. I am not sure how to respond to this! For me my dreams and career is important - thats who I am. Not sure what to do or how to respond.
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@suzzy3 (8449)
4 Apr 09
My husband and I are not like that we are glad for any success we both have.It must be horrible if someone is jealous of your success as normally you would expect your partner to be pleased for you and encourage you,or you them.I do know couple who are in competition with each other,who can cook the best meal,you can score highest in bowling.Who can drink the most.I could not live a life like that,or worst than that one putting the other down all the time.Living like that with someone who is supposed to love you would fill me with dread.interesting discussion love suzzy.x
1 person likes this
@bubbletush (1334)
• Philippines
1 Apr 09
Me and my husband started out as high school sweethearts. We went to the same school and both excelled in Academics. I must admit he is way too better than me though. But instead of getting envious, it inspired me the more to do better. Now that we are pursuing our own careers, I peaked my career earlier than he did. But this did not make him inferior or insecure. He is genuinely happy for my achievements. I have opted though to put my career on hold because we want to start a family. I have reached what I wanted to achieve careerwise and so it is not difficult for me to turn my back. No regrets. It is now my husband's turn to soar in his career and I am equally happy with his achievements. Anyways, I am very happy being a housewife.
1 person likes this
@ajithlal (14109)
• India
15 Nov 12
I think some people are possessive about the partners and are jealous when they are successful. I always believe that it is good to be proud of the partners and to encourage them for their success rather than being jealous. I think most times our partners look for love and care from our sides.
• United States
1 Apr 09
i never had a relationship where i was jealous of my girlfriend doing better. If anything it would be nice, for then we could have more toys and better house. And could golf more. But i sure the competion would ruin any fun or compassion in a relationship.
@haoli1118 (121)
• China
1 Apr 09
No, we are proud of each other's success...and also we support each other.
@eagle_f15 (2054)
• Malaysia
1 Apr 09
Well my husband is always happy for my success and vice versa. That's because both of our success contributes to the maintanence and upkeep of our apartment like bills,groceries and stuff that we need. So we both chip in. There is no such thing as yours and mine. All belongs to the both of us even our money in the bank account so if one is successful for a time or season both would be happy.
@Nhey16 (2519)
• Philippines
1 Apr 09
My hubby would never be jealous coz I'm the one at home looking out for our kids. :) But with his career success I think I'm not that jealous coz I know that I'm a part of what he is right now. I have given up my career for the sake of our family, and from then on, he grows in his career. Although my hubby really does a great performance when it comes to work, I guess I've become a part of his success coz he doesn't really has to worry about his kids when he goes to work. He knows that as a mother and wife, I will do all I can when it comes to domestic situations, so he could really focus on his work although at times there are still domestic things that needed his attention.
@Darkwing (21591)
31 Mar 09
No, not jealous quite, but very competitive. He's the type who likes to lead, and protect, so when I'm successful, he's a bit lost! lol. Noooooo, I wouldn't end the relationship for that reason... I'd just tell him that I was only successful because I had access to his wisdom and support and that my success was as much down to him, as I. I can't speak for other people, as the way they handle their private life is not for me to criticise or interfere with. Brightest Blessings.
@cindyhxf (1447)
• China
31 Mar 09
my boyfriend alwasy is proud of my success,he never has jealous feeling to me when i got success.if my boyfiend was jealous of my success,i think we don't go on relationship till now.
@med889 (5958)
31 Mar 09
I have been in a relationship where my boyfriend was very jealous. Well it was the college days. And eventually I had to leave him. He was very jealous because of my success in my education. Whenever I would get better results or similar stuffs he would always try to find faults in a very negative way. Always telling me that he was better or sort like that.