Do you trust your friends and family enough to love them?
March 31, 2009 4:54am CST
This has been an issue with me for almost half a century and it's never changed. Even hypnosis doesn't help, meditating and telling myself that people can be trusted has never helped. Here is a little background that set the stage for my lack of trust in people. At age 5 I was left, along with my other three brothers, on the sidewalk to be picked up by the Toronto Children's Aid Society while our parents drove off never to be seen again. The earliest memories I have of my mother is her acting really strange, even scary. It turned out that she was an alcoholic and drug addict. My last memory of her was seeing her spinning around in the kitchen while reading a letter. She just kept spinning until she fell down and cracked her head on the kitchen floor. Of course no one was going to take in 4 brothers age 3 1/2 to 9 so we were split up making things even worse. I know not all fosters homes are abusive but I never managed to be put into one of those homes so I spent the next 10 years being moved from home to home until I finally just ran away at age 15 and became a street kid in Toronto. I have never been able to trust people and loving someone, well that is just a dream but a dream I would like make a reality before I die. Surprisingly I have been married for 27 years, to the same person by the way. I also have 23 year old son. Do you know how one can learn trust enough to be able to love?