family disfunkion

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i know i spelt it that way on purpose... why is it that some people are followers and some aren't affraid to speak up for them self..they think they can speak for everyone..like right now i have a niece in law whom has decided whom her hubby my nephew connects with..how can she judge me ive never done anything to her..or my nephew for that matter...all she does is shows me how closeminded she is..im not a grudge holder..i wished them well and told her im sorry your closed minded..and you cant always judge a book by its cover..im from a sician italiano family we tend to kill eachother off hehehehe..but ill just pray my nephew is safe in iraq...but i still think he should be able to talk for himself...how can you hate someone you dont even know...just hurts my heart..