Is love enough?

@CRIVAS (1819)
Canada
April 13, 2009 3:03pm CST
This is a question that I thought I knew the answer to but lately I am starting to wonder myself. Have you ever gotten to the point where it just doesn't seem to be enough? I have been having some issues lately and I have gotten to the point that I am wondering if my love is strong enough to weather the storm. When do you give up? When do you just wake up and think that you are done trying? I know that we are going to go to counsling and I am hoping that things will get better soon. Have you ever gone to marriage counsling? Did it help? If counsling doesn't help, what else can you do? I would love some advice. I have been with the same man for 12 years, we have been married for 5 of those years and have 2 beautiful daughters. I love my husband dispite our problems and I want to make things work, I am just afraid that we might not be able to fix things. Any advice?
2 people like this
3 responses
@chrislotz (8203)
• Canada
2 May 09
I am really sorry to hear you are having problems and questioning if it is enough. I know exactly where you are coming from. I can tell you what I am going through but I can't give you any advice because I don't know any. Here's my story. I have two grown adult children from my first marriage which didn't last long enough. I was and am, then in a relationsip for the last 13 years. He has two grown adult children as well, but they are spoiled rotten and I can't say I have any love for them. In the last 12 years of the 13 years he has given his children everything we have worked for. We used to have some RRSP's and he has cashed them all in and used the money to pay for his oldest daughters schooling. She has finally got a degree, in nursing, after 9 years of university, which we paid for, at about $140,000. She kept changing her major and after everything she ended up going back to nursing. She just graduated two weeks ago. So here goes the bad part. We, my partner, lived in Winnipeg and got transfered to Calgary. After 5 yaers in Calgary he got transferred back so I went with him. Things were so bad for us so I left and moved back to Calgary, last April, so I have been back for a year now. He flies here to see me and I fly there to see him, but I can't live there. I can't be that close to his kids. So he wants to move here but his company won't transfer him here so he would have to quit his good job, and move. I told him no. He would have to come and find a job here first and then quit his job in Winnipeg and move. But there are no jobs here to be found so he has to live there and I have to live here and so LOVE isn't enough, in our case. Sorry, but I have no advice for you because I don't know what to do myself. I have to make a decission soon because I need to move on with my life, one way or another. I have to meet some friends here and I can't do that when I don't know if I have a relationship with my Gil, back in Winnipeg, or not.
1 person likes this
@CRIVAS (1819)
• Canada
18 Jan 12
I am so very sorry to hear of the troubles that you are having. It is never good to hear that someone is having trouble. I hope that in the time since then, things have worked out better. I personally am doing much better with my husband and we are now closer than ever. I cannot imagion being in your situation, it must be very difficult. I hope that in the end things will work out for the best. Thank you for taking the time (especially with everything going on with you) to read my discussion and give me some advice. I would like you to know that if you ever need to talk, I am always here. Good luck.
1 person likes this
@chrislotz (8203)
• Canada
18 Jan 12
Good day crivas, It is so good too read your comment and my response, again...as in my response is 3 years old and I have totally forgotten about it. So to answer some of your questions, I am no longer with my guy. I broke it off with him a few months after I posted this. So it is now 2 1/2 years since then and my life is good. I have a good job, self employed, and I have found myself, so to speak, and I am stress free. My ex ended up getting 1/2 million dollar inheritance and he wouldn't share any of it with me so that gave me my final push to break it off with him. It isn't that I was being greedy or anything, it was money he owed me that I had borrowed him, and it was only $1400.00 which was nothing to him at that point, but he told me the only way I would get my money back was if I moved back to him. I wasn't willing to go back to him so he wouldn't give me my money. Cheers and happy mylotting my friend , chris
@zoey7879 (3104)
• United States
13 Apr 09
Sometimes it isn't enough. Life happens.. people grow, people change, distance forms. Are you going to only marriage counselling or are there individual sessions in there as well? Other than the counselling and opening up a great deal of communication all else I can suggest is patience...
@CRIVAS (1819)
• Canada
18 Jan 12
I am very sorry that it has taken me so long to get back to you. I am happy to say that things are much better now, my husband and I are closer than ever. I have to admite that the going to counselling didn't work, we did however work things out ourselves. We had a very long and interesting talk and decided that it was time for things to change. I am happy to say that they have changed for the better and things are great now. We are actually going to be celebrating our 7 year marriage anniversary and our 14 year together. We have had our troubles in the past but we were able to work things out and are now better than ever. Thanks for taking the time to read my discussion and give me advice, it is always great to know that there are people on here willing to lend a shoulder or helping hand. Thanks agian.
@punlonnjack (1309)
• United States
13 Apr 09
my husband and i having problems to so i feel your pain.i love him with all my heart but he wont go to counsiling. i go day to day.i feel like giving up and run away alot.i guess when i cant stand it anymore ill change it.im sorry i dont have better advise.just keep the faith and when its gone you know its time to change.my husband and i have been through alot and he has changed alot. but know we have other issues to deal with.i dont know when(when)is enough.
@CRIVAS (1819)
• Canada
18 Jan 12
I am sorry to hear that things are not well with you either. It is hard sometimes to watch the ones that we love, change right before our eyes. My husband and I have been working very hard at things and I am happy to say that we are closer now then ever before. There were things that we both needed to work on, and once we figured out what those things were, we decided that we would both need to change in order to make the relationship work. So far things are going great and it helped a lot when we sat down and talked about it. I am very sorry that it took me so long to get back to you, I don't always have time to come on here so I have even less time to select my best responses although I have been making a greater effort lately. I have been making a lot of changes lately and they all seem to be working out for the best. I hope that things are going better for you and your hubby. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.