Friend Has Too Much Drama & I'm Sick Of Hearing It - What Do I Do?

United States
April 15, 2009 2:31pm CST
I went to school with this girl (20 yrs ago) back then no one liked her or wanted to be with her b/c of the way she is (loud, obnoxious, rude,.... she hasn't changed). She found me a few years ago online. She seems to follow me around online day & night & all she does is complain all day & night about all the drama in her life. Such as her so called friends treating her badly, her 18 year old daughter moving out & spreading lies & rumors & treating her badly,...I give her my opinion & how to handle it. She says she tries but it's so hard to do what she KNOWS she needs to do. She says she's 'over it' yet a few minutes later is back at talking about all the drama, boo hooing . I am sooo sick of hearing it, same old same old & without her taking any advice. She says all these people need to grow up but in my opinion it is her who needs to, along with the others of course too. I play games online & she follows me into the rooms to private chat & she gets mad at me if I don't answer or I leave the room. Funny thing is I think I found a way to get her to leave me alone for a bit hehe....yesterday was very nice not having to listen to her b/c the night before I went to bed w/o telling her so she got mad at me lol If she's not complaining about them She's complaining of little aches & pains yet all she needs is a little exercise b/c she's overweight & that has a lot to do with them. I'm on disability for painful & can be life threatening health reasons & her little aches & pains she makes them out to be life threatening. She gets a paper cut & she's going on & on for hours about how painful it is. I have my own problems to deal with & family to take care of I don't need all her drama on top of my pretty much peaceful, happy life. I would like to be able to play my online games in peace & do what I do w/o her following me around. I don't sign in to IM b/c of her so other's I do chat with don't even know when I'm on & are always wondering where I'm at. Wow I could go on & on.... What would you say or do? Marlene
3 people like this
18 responses
@Citychic (4083)
• United States
22 Apr 09
Friend has too much drama. Hi Marlene, well first of all I would try to see if I could help the drama queen but if after listening to her go on and on few times. And I realized that i could not help her I would refer her to a licensed counselor. Tell her that she need to go talk with a professional and that you are only a friend and tell her that you are not qualified to deal with her situation. People like her can drain you of your energy and spirit. So you need to make a decision to help her by referrring her to see a counselor. Afterwords you can go on and continue enjoying your family and life. You can also pat yourself on the back b/c you will know that you did all that you could to try to help your friend, even if she decides not to take ur advice..... Some people are helped just by us listening to them even if we don't make a comment. Be blessed and good luck!
• United States
23 Apr 09
I thought I would just respond to one post instead of each individual one for now, I'm short on time at the moment. Thank you for all the replies. I've been ignoring her. We're both 38 so yes it's about time she grew up! I had nothing to do with her in high school, couldn't stand her then, can't now either. Funny b/c on facebook I will post something & she will come back saying something..usually it's stupid & me or my twin sister will come back with something totally rude, we're having fun with it lol
• China
16 Apr 09
wow, if I was you, I will leave her alone, and play the game by myself,delete the contact. I think she is not your friend what you like, forgot her,and contiue your life
@owntuilp (422)
• China
16 Apr 09
maybe you are right
• China
17 Apr 09
when I read your things again , I have remembered when I was in high shool, I have a classmate, a girl , always like to talk to me anytime,anyewhere,and something, the things like a fairy tale, I think maybe she read a lot of novels, have alot dreams in her mind, sometimes I can not stand what she said, I will avoid her. last year , I met her again , lucky,she didn'd find me to talk again, cause she had new friend,lol
@kaci25 (18)
• Canada
16 Apr 09
I Would just tell it like it is... I know its hard but there is no other way... believe me.. It will only get worse.. they need someone to tell them ... tell her to stop now before she gets worse...if you have to change your logins and stuff or block her.
• United States
16 Apr 09
I think that should be honest and up front with her. I would tell her that I have a family of my own with our own problems and that I don't have time to hear about her problems. Tell her to grow up there is a lot worse things in life than a paper cut. There are people out there going through a lot of things than a paper cut. She should be happy that she has got it as good as she does. I would also tell her to grow up she hasn't changed a bit from high school and this isn't high school anymore this is the real world.
@chillpill90 (1938)
16 Apr 09
Marlene marlene marlene. there are a few things you need to do, first of all when she does your head in just tell her she is doing your head in. Block her if you can tell her to stop acting like a child.you have no obligation to tlk to her you can tlk to her when you want. if it was me i would just tel her to stop moaning cos you have your own problems and to realise that the world doesnt revolve around her. Stop her walking all over you tell her to change or chuck her!
@vicki2876 (5640)
• Canada
16 Apr 09
Hi Marlene and welcome to Mylot. Hope she don't find you here. LOL Honestly when reading your topic I looked and looked to find what YOU are getting from this friendship. Sounds like only a headache. She isn't family or real life friendship so get rid of her. Block her on your MSN and change you user names on the net as much as possible. Block her on sites you can and if she does harass you contact the webmaster of the site. She isn't family or a skin friend so I don't see why you feel you need to put up with someone who thinks so little of you. It doesn't make you a bad person to not want rubbish around you. She sounds like she needs a shrink to work out whatever issues she has and you aren't getting paid enough for that. LOL Worry about the people that do matter in your life and get rid of her. If you have the same friends and they are mad that you got rid of her, just tell them that they can have her and her issues then. Cause from the sounds of it, many people are sick of her like you. This is why I deleted my facebook. If I didn't want to keep in touch after school ended, why would I want to now. There were no people on there that I wanted to stay in touch with. Go ninja online and avoid people you don't want to see. LOL Good LUCK
@lawana_f (327)
• United States
16 Apr 09
Marlene As you can see many of us have friend like this. Some people are only happy when they have drama in their lifes. I made the decission to back away alittle. I know that everyone has some drama in their life and I always want to be there for a freind in need, but there are times in my life when I have to put myself or other loved ones first. I also made the decision not to loose my best freind no matter how much drama she has, we have been through so much together. I pray for her daily and listen when I can.
@owntuilp (422)
• China
16 Apr 09
i wish all things will good for your firend,god bless her
• United States
16 Apr 09
Hello Marlene, WOW. I know EXACTLY where you're at. Maybe it's because of the school I currently go to, but everyone there's a bloody drama queen captured by gossip and romance. In your case, my recommendation is to either tell her how it is (essentially how you won't take anymore crap from her and how you're tired of her whining and moaning), or simply block her. If you don't care about your relationship with the girl/woman, I'd just tell her to go join Hollywood Hill because you don't care about her individual troubles in life. Of course, that is rude and disrespectful, but it really depends on your personal preference and relationship with the girl/woman. Also, how old is she? You say you knew her back in the day, but now has an 18 yr old daughter, leading me to believe she's either a young 30 yr old or in her 40s/50s?! I'd say anyone that gets that caught up in their daily life needs to take a hike. Rude, I know, but if you really are tired of her and really just want some peace to play online games, I'd recommend you just tell her to take a hike and block her. You could also just block her without her notice. You could 'cover it up' as a communication error and a system crash if you care about the girl/woman. Also, if she lives nearby, that's a great explanation if she happens to visit you. (NOOO! :D) Hope that helps, and I'm sorry you have to go through that...good lord-selfish behavior and gossip destroy so many people. Regards, -Fresh Writing
• China
16 Apr 09
Wow, our situations are very similar. I have a frined who is aways complaining her boyfrined, her job,and her family again and again. Sometimes we talked on the phone 1-3 hours a day. At the begining, I was happy when she said I was the only one she can really talk. However, recently I am very sick with her complaining, so when she called I told her how I feel. It make sense, at least she makes less complainging and I am happy for her progress.
• United States
15 Apr 09
It's so sad that this sort of thing happens a lot. See, I used to be this way towards one particular friend I had, although I didn't know what I was doing at the time and didn't step outside of my shoes. I was in a bad relationship and this guy was the close friend I had at the time I could talk to, I guess I sorta scared him away with my problems.
@lingli_78 (12862)
• Australia
15 Apr 09
ignore her and try to stay away from her... that's what i will do... of course i will give her a warning first and tell her to stop her whinging and grow up as i also have enough problems to deal with everyday... if she keeps on doing that, then i will leave her... if she is angry with me, then so be it... sorry to sound so harsh... but i just can't stand people like that who can't stop whinging and make a great deal of everything... take care and have a nice day...
• United States
15 Apr 09
I would sugest you telling her the truth.. it may hurt but it will also releive you of some un needed stress. I mean its not like you to are really good firends right. and besides the internet do you guys see each other... I would tell her how you feel then I would get rid of my user name and get a new login... if that is possible she is harrassing you and you don't have to take it... get rid of her...
• United States
15 Apr 09
oh my, just tell her the truth, if she is only a friend to complain to and not hear you, then your not a friend your only a listening post. Tell her to grow up and deal with what is, move forward. one Of my favorites when I have someone like that is I post in while they are complaining about whatever is "it is what it is" .. then just let them go on and on while I do what I need to online.. yep I will lower the IM to the task bar, and after awhile I will open it up and get 'are you there?" thing, I reply with, was waiting for the end of the complaints.. this way you don't need to repeat yourself.. There are many out there that are craving attention, some are easy to deal with some are not.. I pray that you find away to work with this person and she actually stops and listens for a change.
• United States
15 Apr 09
Wow. I used to have a friend like that. They tell you about every little problem that is going on. But do they ever ask how you are doing? My friend didnt. Anyway, I would just tell her in a nice way the next time she starts telling you her issues, that you have alot to deal with right now and you can't handle anyone elses problems. Its not that you dont want to be her friend and you never want to here about her problems again, but you just need a break. As far as going on-line to play games and IM I would just ingore her when she tries to contacts you. She shouldn't get mad at you for signing off without telling her bye. I haven't used AIM in a while but can't you block a person or go on there invisible?
@TheG3RG (43)
• United States
15 Apr 09
Wow, I had a friend who craved attention and would do almost anything to get it but I am still 22 years old. If an old friend of mine was acting the same way back from high school and it was 20 years later, I would tell them To grow up and then call me back. But that is me, I don't mind being upfront about certain topics. If I lose a friend in the process, then I can always meet new ones!
@punlonnjack (1309)
• United States
15 Apr 09
wow...i dont have much advise.my sister is a drama queen.she is not happy unless she is miserable.maybe start trying to ignore her more or even tell her your sorry but you can help her.you can talk yourself blue in the face to people like this and they just dont take your advise they like misery. change your instant message name so she dont get you on the computer.wish i could help more.