Are You Sure She's Your Real Mother?

@Eweniks (362)
Nigeria
April 21, 2009 12:50pm CST
During the last easther celebration, I travelled out to celebrate with my old friends. As we were siting outside in an open place, a strange woman who was passing by suddenly turned and walked towards our direction. Before she could finish greating us, she fell down in our midst and started crying. The cry was so loud that so people gathered to find out what was going on. When we confronted her, she narrated her story on how she gave birth to Anthony (who was sitting next to me)and abandoned him. Though, she was able to identify Anthony with a tribal mark on his chik. Nobody believed her untill Anthony's "mother" came to the scene. Anothony is now 26 years. He has been living with someone he calls his mother, and his real mother emerged after 25 years. Anthony is about to kill this run away mother. Pls, advice him.
5 people like this
15 responses
• United States
21 Apr 09
I think the woman Anthony has been living with for the past 25 years calling her "mother" should have told him that he was adopted. He can be angry that his birth mother gave him up and abandoned him but violence isn't going to solve anything. He is old enough to decide for himself whether or not he wants to get to know his run away mom. If he does then his decision should be supported by the mom who raised him.
1 person likes this
@zoey7879 (3104)
• United States
21 Apr 09
I couldn't agree more!
• Canada
21 Apr 09
Well said, I completely agree with you cynicalandoutspoken!
@Eweniks (362)
• Nigeria
22 Apr 09
You are right my dear. it was not really adoprtion. but was asked to take care of the baby. thank you.
@mermaidivy (15415)
• United States
21 Apr 09
I used to wonder this question when I was really small too :-p BecauseI don't look like my mother at all but I only look like my dad. I realized I was wrong until my 2nd sister came out because she looks exactly like me so I told myself mom did lie to me, she is really my mom, so silly :-p
1 person likes this
@Eweniks (362)
• Nigeria
22 Apr 09
thanks for responding.
@albert2412 (1782)
• United States
21 Apr 09
I think that I can understand how upset Antony feels. I know he feels rejected and unwanted. Mt blood type is ab positive and my "dad's" blood type is o negative. This means that my "dad" is not my real dad. I have often wondered who my real dad is. It is awful not really knowing. Also, I believe that I have a twin brother out there somewhere. I wonder who he is? These things can really eat away at your heart.
@Eweniks (362)
• Nigeria
22 Apr 09
My dear, it's only the woman can tell the true father of her child. Thanks for ur response.
@GAUCI123 (1042)
• Malta
21 Apr 09
Well I think that if Anthony didn't knew about his real mother, makes him feel shocked. I will be shocked if someone comes trough me and tells me that your mother isn't your real biological mother. It is normal that he would be angry with his natural mother for abandoning him and his adopted mother for not telling him the truth. They both actually had their reasons for lying to him, however time will heal his feelings and hope that he will love them both, since I am sure that they both love him so much.
1 person likes this
@Eweniks (362)
• Nigeria
22 Apr 09
"...time will heal his feelings..." thanks for that.
@Casey23 (20)
• United States
21 Apr 09
WOW!! What a story!! If I were Anthony I would demand that both "mothers" come together and tell him what happened honestly. Why one mother abandoned him and why one mother never told him the truth as to his parentage. Kind of makes me wonder if the biological mother wasn't forced to give her child up.
1 person likes this
@Eweniks (362)
• Nigeria
22 Apr 09
Well, i don't know why she has refused to tell Anthony about her real mother. Thanks for your response.
@flowerday (322)
• Singapore
21 Apr 09
hihi... it is really quite a tragic story.. i believe that Anthony's biological mother has her reasons for abandoning him..no mother in this world will abandon her child for no reason.. i feel that Anthony should give her a chance to explain herself before deciding what to do..
1 person likes this
@Eweniks (362)
• Nigeria
22 Apr 09
she actually had her reasons. thanks for responding.
@Effusive (156)
• United States
21 Apr 09
I am sorry for your friend this is a horrible experience to go through. That has to be awful for Anthony I can only imagine what he is going through. I am pretty sure that she had a reason for abandoning him when he was born. I think that he should sit down with her and find out what happened. He should not let the ill feelings consume him. I understand that he is upset but he will need to calm down, pray and do some serious thinking about the situation. Ultimately it will be his decision what happens as we can all sympathize with him but can not walk in his shoes. Best of luck to Anthony and he is in my prayers.
@Eweniks (362)
• Nigeria
22 Apr 09
..sit down with her and find out what happened. That's true. Thanks for sharing.
• United States
21 Apr 09
No.. I am quite positive that I was found under a rock.. =| Check birth records? Prints? Bloodtest? Other sort of things like that? Other than that, I dunno.
@Eweniks (362)
• Nigeria
22 Apr 09
Thanks for responding.
21 Apr 09
I am very sure the my mum is my mother :P If I was in his position I would not want to keep in touch with his biological mother. She made a choice and she needs to live with by it.
@Eweniks (362)
• Nigeria
22 Apr 09
Thanks for responding.
• South Africa
21 Apr 09
Poor Anthony, he must be so confused. First, tell Anthony to bear in mind that the 'unknown' woman could have had him aborted. She must have cared enough about his life to invest approximately nine months into bearing him to term. Adopted parents are very carefully screened by social workers, and many of them have to wait along time until they are approved. It may sound contradictory, but the very fact that he is so angry, probably means that a very close bond probably formed between him and the mother who raised him. Consider this, if the 'unknown' woman never abandoned him, everyone in his life he cares for right now, might have been a stranger. Every friendship he enjoyes, would not have happened the way it did. Oh, and one last thing for Anthony, it's okay to feel angry too.
@Eweniks (362)
• Nigeria
22 Apr 09
That's true. Thanks for your response.
@cvodrey (227)
• United States
21 Apr 09
Generally people give up their children because they are incapable of taking care of them. It is usually so their child will have a better life, and more opportunities. I can only imagine, as I have five of my own, that giving up your own flesh and blood must be the most difficult thing for nearly anyone. He needs to not be so hard on her.
@Eweniks (362)
• Nigeria
22 Apr 09
I thing u are right. but she knows why she has to abandon her own baby. thanks.
• Canada
21 Apr 09
I honestly think that the lady that Anthony was calling mother for the last 25 years should have explained to him a long time ago that he was adopted. If someone kept that from me I would be furious! Also I think that Anthony not only owes it to his biological mother but also to himself to know why he was given up! I'm sure she had her reasons!
@Eweniks (362)
• Nigeria
22 Apr 09
Both momen actually had their reasons. Thank you.
• United States
22 Apr 09
Wow! talk about a shocker huh?... I feel horrible for this anthony charectar. I couldnt imagine what it all must be like for him to fina out in the way he did..My thing is,is he cant look exsactly like he did when he was a baby. How would she have known it was him after 25 years??...just because of a tribal mark on his chik?? im guessing that was supposed to be cheeck.Idk but aside from that finding out that a woman who has raised,nutured and cared for him for 25 years that he calls mother is NOT really his mother.. I bet the fact that she lied to him for 25 years is running though his head over and over. but also the fact of she lied for my own good. to not learn of a past that could hurt him. Knoeing that your mother just abandoned you has to be hard and then to have her right in your face and it happen like it did.... I mean all I can say is does he want this new mother in his life? is he able to accept that fact that she abanoned him and is now just showing up?. If he does he should try to be as patient as ever with her and give her the benifit of the doubt. even if he doesnt then he should atleast find out about his family history and everything of the sort. all that can and will benifit him someday.especially when he has kids. what diseases ran in his family and everything PLUS for him to finally know who he is because if he did before this Im sure he is second guessing it now... He now has to start from the beginning.... To"kill her" is not the way to go... If he wants her gone.. just he needs to let her know that as much as this may pain her. he would like to not see her anymore..afterall she did abandon him when he was a baby,( I assume). poor guy. I wish the best for him...
@kuan01 (135)
• Philippines
22 Apr 09
so sad to hear this story, but i think it would be better to ask his known "mother" to be specific and don't react hysterically. I know how it feels to be in that situation specially when you are already grown up right? Maybe, he needs time for himself to think what have just happened.
@ladynetz (968)
• Canada
21 Apr 09
It's so not easy to give an advice. The women who raise Anthony is the real mother.She took care of him all his life, was beside him every moment, gave him all the love that a mother can give.And probably more. She wanted him and she never complained. The biological mother, can come and cry - that's her right.Who knows why she had to give him away?No one can judge her. It's true that the real mother could have said to Anthony that he is not her biological son - but one never knows how would he have received the story. And she was afraid of losing him. I think that the real mother should apologize from hiding the truth from him, and both Anthony and his biological mother - should be grateful that she raised him and brought him to the stage he is now. An adult who knew the love of a mother, even if not the biological one. It's nor easy to raise kids, to give them love and everything they need.She did a great job!