how to cope with teenagers!!

OK, I hope I can give you some useful advice here. I have 4 boys, they range in age from 15 to 21 so I do know a little about boys and teenage years. One of my boys have really done the whole teen angst thing. He's been a hellion and it has been extremely difficult. We've handled him in different ways. We listen to what is bothering him when he will talk which honestly he would rather keep to himself. We've tried grounding, which has not worked, we turn our backs and he's gone. The thing that has worked with him is the tough love tactic, which is really hard on his father and I but seems to work on him. It seems when we kick him out, quit giving to him, treat him as disrespectful as he treats us his demeanor changes for the better. I don't get it. :( One of my boys has NEVER give us a minutes trouble. This son has not been treated any different from the rest of his brothers. In fact we used to kid that we put more of a work load on him (taking out garbage, feeding the dog) because he was the kid who did it without grumbling. The youngest, who is now 15, he's starting with the whole running around, really hanging with his friends at their house, so far no trouble. My best advice would really be, if you have much trouble, try the tough love aspect. It is hard, no doubt, but if they need it, it's a sure bet that it will work.

There is no telling whether your son will turn into a teenage monster. Whatever characteristics he displays now have unfortunately not much to do with how he will react to all those hormones flooding through his body. I thought I'd be lucky with my ones easy-going, sociable son, now aged 18, but noooo..was i wrong! So its best to be prepared for a few difficult years ahead. having said that, teenage years are much like the menopause...half of it its perception, and unfortunately certain phases in life have a lot of negative press! With emerging teenagers its hard to find a balance between letting go a bit more and making sure they are safe. Difficult ! especially when you hear ' but so and so is allowed to go here and there and do this and that!' Stick with what you feel is right. Its easier to loosen the leash bit by bit than having to rope him back in when things get out of hand. Humour is a great coping aid! It will diffuse tricky situations when a discussion can easily turn into an argument that gets out of hand. See the funny side, it makes life easier ! Often the hardest thing is that communication shuts down. The danger is that this can get out of hand and before you know it, there seems nothing to talk about but' do this, do that, and all you do is nag nag nag. Even if you don't get much of a response ( but an ' so what', or ' yeah, and?') involve 'him' in little chats, stuff that is neutral and not about behaviour or expectations. You may not have immediate results , but it'll pay off in the future when your then grown up child looks back and has fonder memories. maybe this is crucial: Always remember that everything you do and say will be a memory, so create some really good ones, inbetween the hard bits they will help foster a good relationship!

Okay I may be able to give you some help but you need to remember every teenager is different and you may need to try a couple different ways to deal before you find something that works for you and your son. Listen and talk! Most teenagers will go through a time where they feel like no one ever listens and their opinions don't matter. So listen, don't do the innocent mom act, they know. You will need to let them know that you do care and even if they just want to vent you will listen and not judge. Judging them is another big topic that can increase the mood swings. If you talk to them as if they are children and that you know better simply because you are an adult you will come off as judging them and "not really know them." It is an unending cycle of teenage attitude mixed with "all knowing and unchanging parenting." Don't worry, I do know what I'm talking about I'm 22 and my step sons are 7 and 9. I am dealing with the pre-teen attitudes right now and not so long ago I was a teenager myself. Good Luck!

try thinking back to when you were a teenager. did you ever felt like your parents misunderstood you? and for what reasons? were you not allowed the time you wished? remember one thing, even if you know what your kid is up to pretend like you don't even if you're against it, let your kid make his own mistakes, from that he shall learn. i give my kids lots of space and when its time they will return for my advice, i always let them know that the door is forever open if they need me and they use it wisely. everytime they get into serious trouble which is rarely i always just ask them a simple question " was it worth it?" they 'd always replied no and learn from their mistakes. remember to keep a leash on your son but just don't make it that tight. allow him the freedom to grow up just not that much. let him spread his wings a little more day by day and slowly you'd just cant imagine what an amazing son you've got. he shall thank you one day for all your guidance. just remember not to over nag them as they do tend to get really agitated. i wish you all the luck with your son and hopefully you'll be alright. remember to give him the space he deserves and never ever tell them that they are prohibited from something cause they will definitely rebel against it, if you don't want them doing something just say you do not like the idea of it never ever use the word forbid.cheers love.