Was your birthday, who you want, don t say to you "happy birthday..."

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You will say to she or he "happy birthday" when will be his/shes birthday? Or you will revenge to show how much hurt you? Maybe is good to revenge, but i am sure that is much better to show somebody that you are a rally gentelman or lady, and say happy birthday to him... War or peace? stuborn or peaceful? What is better in a relation?