"To be or not to be" regarding celebrating Mother's Day.

Bayonne, New Jersey
May 10, 2009 1:58pm CST
By the time I was born, my parent's marrage was broken, then my mom join this radical Christian religion with very strick doctines. When all is told my mom ended up raising 4 children all by her self with no financial support from my dad. It was pretty difficult for my mon, I'm sure and during our childhood, she was unable to work. Then when I was about 6 years old she began beating us with electrical extention cords and making us kneel for hours on metallic window screens. Not only that but would never allow us to laugh with a warning that: Now you are laughing soon you will be crying. I was a different skin complexion and when asked, where did she get me from she would always respond from: "From the garbage." My mom never encourage education; infact was lead to believe (from her religion) that education lead to corruption of the soul. We where never allow to dance, play "worldly" music, never allowed to wear pants, even on the most coldest of days. We were not allow to wear jewlery, makeup, and where not allowed to wear bathing suits, so rarely visited the beach, if at all, because the people where naked. My mom never allowed me to express myself or objection to her ways and always warned me that she only ask things of me once, vocalizing; and that the second time she ask anything of me it would be with a back slap. Once when I was about 7 years old she back slapped me with such strenght, that I took a spin and then for years sufferred with facial pain. As a result, I was a problematic student and then as a young adult experienced multiple relationships. I struggled with parenthood as a single mom, and even today feel the effects of all the abuse. I had many issues (monkeys on my back and finally about at 27 years of age (I already had my two childred) decided I must find solutions on avoiding these repeated incidents in my life. I read many books on psychology and human behavior and the entire King James Version of the Holy Bible. Not only those but many many more books mainly written by PhD's on resolving all these problems I faced and did not understand. My mom is about 75 years old, has never apologized, and when ever our family is together (once or twice a year), she starts with me in one way or another. A couple of years (2) ago, she actually told me that I was the reason for her problem. What ever! As a child I always loved my mother, but she never even said I love you once, when I was growing up. I don't know what it is to ever hug my mother with affection or curl up on her lap. Even so, you folks are not going to believe this, but I've never disrespected her as far as starting up some argument with her. As a child she would tell me: I gave you life and I will take it away." Can you believe this coming from a religious person. Really, what hypocrisy! Where is the love of Christ in this person. So, Mother's day is not my favorite Holiday. In fact, I preferred, if it never came around, because, it reminds me of my awful childhood with my mother and also of the difficulty in my adult life as a result of this miserable person who also happens to be my mother. Most would say, get over it and move on, and I've tried, only God know how much effort, but the underlying sadness even wants me make cry right now. I know that there are good mother's out there, even in financial hardship would never do what my mother did to me. For those mothers, this day is so appropriate, but not for a mother as mine. To all the good mothers out there, may your hard work of the past, with your family bring you happiness today in the form of all kinds of special effects from them. I worked to end that cycle of violence in my own personal life and I believe I achieved that with my daughter who is now 24 years old and graduated at the age of 22 years old from one of the top Northeastern engineering schools and is now a mechanical engineer. Unfortunately, my oldest son is from a first marriage and he father (a devil himself) manipulated the court system to gain custody, put the child on medication, ignored his developing problems, put him out on the street at 18 years old, and now my son is having serious maturity problems. Thank God, he is not a drug user or a criminal, but still he is having difficulty adjusting to reality. So, you see the importance of stability and a loving home for children. This should be a human right! I want to please ask all of you to please involve yourself in one way or another, in providing stability to the many children in poor communities, because they need it so much. You would not believe what poor children have to live with, so please, help end the "cycle of violence" in American homes. Let this be one of the many ways you celebrate mother's day. To be or not to be - the one that makes the different in a child's life.
1 person likes this
1 response
• United States
11 May 09
So sorry to hear how your life was growing up. I can not imagine saying such horrible things to my children. They are the most important things in the world to me. Even if I say things out of anger, and nothing compared to your mother, but it hurts me as well. I always end up apologizing to them. It sounds like a very hard life. But you survived and came through it with the attitude of not continuing the cycle. And, it sounds like you succeeded at that with your daughter. Congratulations! You are a very strong woman because of all you lived through. Thank you for all your words of wisdom. I am sorry for what your son has gone through, it sounds as if he would have made out better with more of your influences than his dads. I wish him well. Keep being the person that you are:)