The Mom Wars who is to blame and your thoughts
By meandmy3
@meandmy3 (2227)
United States
May 12, 2009 10:49pm CST
So I have been giving a lot of thought lately to the so called mom wars. You know working moms against stay at home moms, attachment parenting vs CIO, vaccination, circumcision, etc, you get the point.
It seems that their are different opinions on all things parenting and that if you happen to do things different from Sally dos down the street you are wrong. Is this all media hype, or is this real.
I for one have noticed the looks, heard the comments and seen moms go against each other because of different believes on how to do things. Weather it be home school vs public school, or when to take the bottle away.
I know that I do what is best for my family and what I feel is best for my children, however that does not mean that it is going to be right for you or even for my sister as far as that goes. At the end of the day you have to do what is right for you and what works for your family. I feel that as moms we should help each other and support each other instead of trying to belittle one another and make them feel bad about the decisions they make about their families and children.
I am not going to get it right 100% of the time, I enjoy learning what works for other moms and families, I may not always agree with it, but sometimes I may be able to take what is working for them and adapt it to work for my family. Or who knows do the exact same thing. If it works great, if not I tried.
I am a stay at home mom, my closest friend works part time, next year when my kids go to school, to help her out I am going to pick her trio up from preschool every day till the nanny can get there. Another friend of mine works full time, her daughter is in dance and gymnastics with my daughter, I take her daughter to practice every week. Her mom in turn will call me if she is at the store to see if I need something. We support each other so that all of us can be better moms.
I wish everyone could do things like this, instead of making it a competition on who is right and who is wrong. At the end there is no right and wrong, there is a what is best for you and your family.
what are your thoughts
1 person likes this
3 responses
@madasp (563)
• United States
13 May 09
I agree with you. If it works for my family thats what I'm going to do and I respect other peoples decisions to do what they think is best for their families.
I have four kids and I actually think each individual child has different needs that need to be adapted for. Some kids thrive with a schedule, some don't. Some kids connect better with one parent or the other. There are so many different family situations and individual children that it is impossible for anyone to say that one way of parenting is better than the other.
1 person likes this
@meandmy3 (2227)
• United States
13 May 09
You are so right. Our family, my children are five years old, they still nap, but when they do not nap it is holy hell at our house. I have friends who give me a hard time about it. We have a strict schedule, again my kids do better on a schedule, and again I have friends who give me a hard time. This is what works best for me and my kids. So this is what we do..
Now maybe that I got this off my mind I can go to sleep..
@amrith (291)
• India
13 May 09
till three years unless byou are ingreat need of money for the survival it is better to be at home and lookm after the kids. because this is the time the child needs mothers maximum attention
@beautifulkinabalu (64)
• Malaysia
13 May 09
We can't always have what we want. Sometimes we wish we can do and give so much more to the kids. I guess if single income in the family is enough to pay all the bills, food on the table, sunday outing or to celebrate the children's birthdays or their school activities then one person should sacrifice and stay at home be it the father or the mother to monitor the children's growing up.
@meandmy3 (2227)
• United States
13 May 09
Some moms are not cut out to be stay at home moms as a result it is not always in the best interest of the mom, the children or the family for them to be home. There is nothing wrong with child care or day care, it has come so far in the past years with what they offer children.
@beautifulkinabalu (64)
• Malaysia
16 May 09
I am repeating this article. This is the 3rd time my article got dissapeared suddenly just like that when I want to post it. And I have to re-word everything.
Anyway this is my opinion as a respond to the discussion.
I agree with you, meandmy3, that we have other choices or alternative in respond to the dillemmas of working parents. We can always hire maid, nanny or daycare. But these alternatives will only be taken if we really have no other choice. Standard of living now is very high. Everything needs money. Majority families practice double income. Where both husband and wife have to work to cover all overheads, or just want to stay in the working world.
However, to choose a good daycare needs money too. But that is something we have to face. Its in the package.
We need to assess the operation of the chosen daycare before we decide to leave the children, toddlers or infants there for the next 8 hours everyday, for 5 days a week. We need to talk to parents who's been putting up their kids in this daycare. We need to know what activities are they giving to the children in order to keep them busy. Is it educational and fun? Are they well rested and fed well too? How is the relationship between the kids and the people within the daycare center? How involve are they in keeping good communications and healty environment? All these must come into consideration.
I myself have nothing against both parents working or 1 of the parents stay at home and 1 work. The guilt of living the kids on their own with other strangers, or the guilt about us not being able to be there with them all the time or when they need us, these guilts, will always be there. But there will always be ways to compensate the situation or adjust it so as to balance the situation. Human beings are very adjustable.
1 person likes this
@Cathy1263 (32)
• United States
14 May 09
I personally don't worry about what other people think or say when it comes to raising my child. Each family situation is different and each child is different. Each mother should do what is best for her child. Don't worry about what age to take the bottle away, when they should be potty trained ( at this time I am battling that with my daughter). I focus on my childs needs and live my life as happy as I can. I hope my daugher grows up to be an independant, mature, well adjusted girl. I hope to teach her all I know.
