A Possesive Girl/Boyfriend

Indonesia
May 14, 2009 1:45am CST
Hi, everybody... Several days ago a friend came to me and we had a long chat about a possesive girl/boyfriend. I think it's really intriguing. If you had a possesive girl/boyfriend, how would you feel? what would you do? I can see that some of those possesive people can do shocking and illogical things. They check their partners' email, sms and they want their partners to always inform where they are. The worst is when these possesive guys want something badly. If their partners can't grant what they wish, they will be mad, they will shout and scream and hit or kick their partners. Pheww.. Life is to short to spend with the wrong guy, isn't it?
2 people like this
9 responses
• Philippines
14 May 09
I can say that possessiveness is kinda good for some people because it somehow makes them feel really important. But too much of possessiveness can ruin one's life. I've had a boyfriend and he was really possessive. He doesn't want me to hang out with my girlfriends. He also doesn't want to see other guys talking to me. In short, He wants me all for himself. It was kinda good at first but it was too much and it's choking me. I broke up with him and found a better guy that is worth my time and mst especially, my love.
• Cebu, Philippines
14 May 09
yeahh too much possesiveness also isn't good,,you need to get rid of those people...worst than that it will also lead to killing because they can't control themselves even if they love the person so much..
• Indonesia
8 Jun 09
I agree 100% with you. It's good in the beginning only and killing us soon afterward. It's really hell when we can't hang out with our friends just because our partner doesn't want it. I'm happy for you that after sometimes you could find a better and nice guy who deserves your love and time. Cheers!
@larish (2195)
• Philippines
14 May 09
My second boyfriend (now my ex) are very possessive. During our three years relationship, I lost contact to all of my friends because he was too jealous of them. My world was just him and my family. Come our third year, I begin to miss myself..It seems that I don't even know what I like to do in my life. It was a wake up call for me that I cannot loose my identity because of this over possesive and very jealous boyfriend. I learn to rebel against him on our third year. It has cause us so much fight that makes our lives both stressful (VERY!), It is also a blessing that before we celebrated our 4th Anniversary, we already broke up.lol
1 person likes this
• Indonesia
8 Jun 09
Congratulation, my dear friend. I guess you have made the right decision. It's very hard to handle this kind of possessive person especially when they do not want to change themselves. I guess it took you a bit long but well that's life, isn't it. Sometimes we try real hard to keep what we have before we finally realized that it was not really worth it. Once again, congratulation and hope you hape a much better life now. :-)
@larish (2195)
• Philippines
13 Jun 09
I have the best life ever. I am now married to a wonderful, loving and very responsible guy. I hope your friend will learn to open his eyes to other options she has in life.
@yonkie (440)
• Philippines
14 May 09
I agree with you. Let us always remember that the person we are having a relationship is someone whom we trust. We should not do things that will ruin their privacy. Our partner should not be treated like an irresponsible, not trustworthy person. Being possessive to a partner is liking more than what parents do to their children.
1 person likes this
• Indonesia
8 Jun 09
Yeah, you are right and even most of our parents are not so controlling like those possessive people. I really think that a posssessive person is not really worth spending the time with. And we should be really strict with them. I mean if they don't stop, there is no reason for us to stay. Thanks.
@chillpill90 (1937)
14 May 09
A possesive person is normally such because their insecure or have been hurt in the past and are tryin to guard against it happening again. If someone was checking my email all the time or my phone and i caught them i would feel that they didnt trust me and i would question them as to why there checking. Your right if your partner is really possesive then they aren't worth being with and lif is to short.
1 person likes this
• Canada
14 May 09
Good point! If my boyfriend was checking my emails, cell phone, etc I would be asking him about it too! Then I would tell him that it's obvious that he doesn't trust me so it's over. The ONLY time I can see someone not trusting the other in a relationship is if they have been given a reason for example they have been caught in some pretty big lies, they have cheated, etc.
@arkansos (546)
• India
15 May 09
I have never had such a relationship and I am not too possesive myself. Yes possesive, but not obsessed. Here, in my college, most of the guys i see are obsessed with their girlfriends. They want their girl friends to talk to as less guys as possible, Never hang out with any guys and spend every free minute with their girlfriends. Makes me pity their lives
@cainam (493)
• Philippines
15 May 09
my boyfriend is really possesive. he even don't like me to have friends. but it's not hard for me to obey him because i am really a loner person.
• Cebu, Philippines
14 May 09
I think the reason why they are being possesive it is because they lied many times and they're partners like tend to hmmmm.. is he telling me the truth? especially you partners keeps on lying and get caught many times by his/her partner..so it's a matter of building trust..if your partner didn't do anything that will affect their relationship i dont think there will be a possesive partners..
• Canada
14 May 09
Just leave. no matter how much you love this person he/she WONT ever change. I have met so many people that say my bf/gf would be perfect if he/she wasnt so controlling. Then why stay? go find a mate that truly suits you and you'll never have to ssay that again. You said it perfectly LIFE IS TO SHORT
• Canada
14 May 09
I feel that a major ingredient in any relationship is trust, and if someone is possessive then it's pretty obvious they have no trust! I was with a possessive guy once and it eventually went from verbal to physical! Your right, none deserves to be treated like that and life is WAY too short to be stuck in that kind of relationship! They bring nothing but trouble! Welcome to MyLot!