More Than Work?
By aahnnjo
@aahnnjo (65)
May 23, 2009 9:36am CST
One night my boss and i went out to have a dinner after work in a restaurant near our work-place,i thought that was just a treat after the whole busy and tiring day of ours.After the dinner,i thought he gonna drop me by on the bus station,like he always does. But then,suddenly he asked me if i want to go to a KTV bar nearby,because he heard me humming,and he found it good to hear. Anyway,its still early so we jammed.I had a great time,really, but before the night ended,he said that we'll be hanging-out again sometime,and then he dropped me i our house.And it now happens always,which i found unusual,because he was not like that before. We always have our dinner together after work,he now often drops me by in our house,and recently,i decided to visit our province on the weekend,i told him and then to my surprise,he offered me a ride. I was shocked and did not expect that,which eventually made me say yes. Then we drove from the city to my province,we roamed around the province and feel the escence of nature because i was not able to visit it for a couple of months. I was looking outside the car window and told him that i like the view,then he said that he has better view of the place, but when i asked where,he was looking at me,then he just pointed to the direction where i was looking.What was that?
He tells me almost everything,about his family,his past affairs,he always gives me good pieces of advice about the field of our work.
But then,it made me think why does he do those things?i know he's nice and definitly smart,its just,i dont wanna give malice,but then,do you think my boss is up to something more than work?
1 person likes this
4 responses
@gcorp09 (940)
• Singapore
24 May 09
I will say that from what you've described, it's certainly unusual if he often brings you out for dinner, and even go out of the way to drive you back to your province on a weekend. I don't think a boss will go out of the way to do all these.
Well, what do you feel about him? You may want to first sort out your feelings about him, before going into a heart-to-heart talk about this issue. However, if you feel shy about this, and do not think you will like to have further relationship besides boss and subordinate, I will say you can slowly keep your distance from him after work.
@gcorp09 (940)
• Singapore
25 May 09
Well, why do you feel like that? Is it because he's your boss? Or you like him? Or ... You have to ask yourself this question. In addition, do you feel happy if he ask you out for dinner? Or do you feel troubled and do not want to go at all?
May I just know if this is the first time you feel this, or have you ever been in love before?
Well, as for you mum and brother, I believe they are concerned about you. That's why they are angry about this...
@aahnnjo (65)
•
31 May 09
I am,I am happy and i let himto take me out to dinner or stroll with him after work. We've talked about so much,mostly the things far more about work. And I am happy about that, i dont know,but i really do. Im enjoying the time i spent with him,its like the age and his authority is no longer an issue. One time,he told that when we're togethr i should no longer call him "Sir". It was really hjard for me to say his name without the attributes,so i decided not to call him by either of the two. Im confused,i am really confused
@jbrooks0127 (2324)
• United States
23 May 09
Oh yes, you can count on it, you are much more than just a friend to him. A ride home after work is for a friend. Maybe even a dinner out now and then but your boss is continuing to escalate the time he can spend with you.
And when a man takes the time to tell you all about himself and his family....well he considers you way more than a friend.
You must understand that he must walk a tightrope here because he is your boss and you work for him. If he get's too close at work he could get in trouble because he will not be able to help but favor you. So he is talking it slow. He may never really say "I Love You" until you show some sign that you may love him.
If you don't feel something for him you must not let this continue. The longer you do the more hopeful he will be and the more you will hurt him when you do let him down.
Of course if you think there may be something there in time then just keep on doing what you are doing.
@aahnnjo (65)
•
24 May 09
Thank you for that wonderful advice. Im really confuse,like what i said he was not like that before,i even wanted to ask my previous collegue if our boss treated her the way he is treating me now. I dont want my work to be affected,im trying not to give malice but then i cant help to think. He reminds me of my ex boyfriend,from the moment i've first met my boss, there's some aura of him that is just like my ex. I dont know if im gonna like it or hate it. By the way,my boss is 14 years older than me,but doesn't look like his age and he has 3 kids.
Which makes it more confusing. But honestly,i admire him,he's really intelligent.
@jbrooks0127 (2324)
• United States
26 May 09
Well the fact that he reminds you so much of your ex is a big clue as to your confusion. You admire him for him but there is also the attraction to something from you past. The only thing I think anyone can advise you on is to try your very best to understand your own feelings her for this man.
All of the things you say here will lead you to show him that you like him. You can't help but do that especially when he is so nice to you. But you must keep everything in perspective. He is your boss and so you must consider that. If he has children that should not be a determining factor unless you are a long way from wanting children.
Just remember this. No one out here can give you the right answer. You are living this and so you must decide what is right for you and you alone. Do not let how he treats you and how much you admire him as a boss or anything else confuse you you may feel about him. Not easy I know but you must so that when the time comes you can make the right decisions. Also remember that until he tells you outright about his feelings for you all of this is speculation.
Think long and hard as to if this man could be your husband in the future. What would that mean and what would that be like. It may very well tell you exactly what you must do.
@aikhong (661)
• Malaysia
24 May 09
Well, from those points that you've mentioned here, there're really big possibilities that your boss is indeed, having something more than work on you. However, as you mentioned, he already has his own family but yet he's still very kind and nice to you. Perhaps, you may just take those as he is really that nice person to be, while on the other hand take some precaution steps to prevent anything bad that may happen. Besides, you may also try to find a suitable chance to talk and discuss to him regarding your feelings and the doubts in your mind. I think this will be a better way to solve all these doubt for once and for all.
Good luck to you!
@xarex777 (467)
• Philippines
23 May 09
Definitely! Your boss is in love with you.. According to your story, your boss is really in love with you but maybe he's shy to say it to you directly and just waiting for you to ask him why is he doing all those things for you.. Well, if you like your boss too, and with the efforts he's showing you, why not try to tell him that you're feeling that he has something to say to you..
But just be careful with him, who knows if he's just up to something like having a "good time"..
@aahnnjo (65)
•
23 May 09
I just wished telling him would be easy,i cannot even asked him why. I've been trying to tell my self over and over again that he's just nice. And i am really careful,and like what i said,he tells me about his family,what i meant by that is he has his own family,with three kids.He even showed me the pictures.
