what would you do?

Saint Lucia
June 14, 2009 12:04pm CST
I have a five year old daughter who sometimes is very cold to my male friends and i usually wonder why.I met this guy whom i am attracted to and would like to take time to get to know him.But he doesnt like kids because they are to him little pests.I didnt know about this since we are in the first phase of the friendship.My friend was conversing with him and he told her that so she immediately ask him what about my daughter?He said that he hasnt met her and would love to delay as much as possible.We are having dinner and i brought up the subject because i would like him to tell me he was only joking,he is saying to me that he likes me but he cant deal with kids.I you dont like kids would you date someone with one?I stopped seeing him.what would you do?would you put your child welfare before yours?
2 people like this
13 responses
• Malta
14 Jun 09
Personally, I believe that a parent's main duty and responsability is towards one's own child. Of course that your child's welfare comes before yours and anyone else. You may meet a hundred other like this jerk, but your child is your own blood! At least some positive came out of your relationship that this guy was honest from the beginning and you did not waste anymore of your precious time with him, but can instead dedicate more quality time to your child.
2 people like this
• United States
14 Jun 09
As a mother do not do that to your child. You were definately right to kick him to the curb. I would only ever pick a man who loved my children and showed them respect and care as if they were thier own. Your daughter being cold may be a sign that she's afraid of losing you and doesn't understand that a man can't change your relationship with her or take you away. Have a good talk with her and be sure not to bring different men in and out of her life. Most mom's wouldn't do that, but there are some out there who don't put thier babies first. You sound smart though.
1 person likes this
@agv0419 (3029)
• Philippines
15 Jun 09
You need to prioritize your child first. I think you should break up the guy because if he really love you he also love your child and accept her as his own child. Find a man that will love your child. The welfare of your child should be the first than your self.
• United States
15 Jun 09
thats a nice topic for discussion what would you do ? in the busy schedule of everyones life everyone got something to do with . no one will be sitting idle and about my concern wake up late in the morning get ready to office have my break fast reach office routine as usual after work go back home have some fun time with chatting with friends r will watch tv have my dinner then go back to sleep ...lol
1 person likes this
• Philippines
15 Jun 09
you made the right decision. if you continue your relationship with him, what happen to your child? In the first place if he loves you, he will love also your family, your kid most especially. he will accept and love you for who you are. Your relationship with him is a failure and will be a failure from the start. if you continue having relationship with him, you guys will also fight because ot the child. you cannot just ignore your child because of him. Just pray and continue believing that a guy will come into your life who will love you and accept your child.
@ckyera (17261)
• Philippines
15 Jun 09
hello there...i think you just made the right decision of not seeing him again. and i think that you are lucky to find it out earlier that he don't like kids coz if not it may just put you, your relationship and your daughter in trouble... you child is your and she is a gift from God. you can't change it but you can always find another man who will love you and your daughter and will accept both of you. the other one, he don't deserve you. have a nice day! :-)
1 person likes this
@ezekiel71 (132)
• United States
14 Jun 09
i would say my priority is my daughter specially as young as she is now. I couldnt be with somebody who dont like my child, no matter how nice he is,if he says he loves you how can he not love that part of you? because you and your daughter is a package if you are going into a relationship (thats how i see it) take it or leave it. No wonder your daughter is cold to your male friend, because children have that kind of instinct. Right now considering your childs welfare is the top priority because she is young and helpless. she she grows up it will be a different thing.
1 person likes this
• United States
14 Jun 09
That was a good move in not seeing the guy anymore. Him not liking kids already shows that your interests differ. Loving and accepting someone includes everything that comes with them, which means kids included no exceptions. Becoming a parent means bringing a helpless new life in the world, and if you don't look out for them, who will? It's always a good idea to pay attention to how your child responds to the men in your life, and it sounds your doing a good job of having your daughters welfare in you main interests. Have a blessed day!
1 person likes this
• United States
14 Jun 09
Your children first. Normally when a child dose not like a person they naturally see somthing you have no idea that is there. If you are a person whom has a child you only need to be dating a person whom enjoys children. Also you may want to watch whom you let meet your children. I have told men whom have kids it you think that we are serious ten let wait a month after that and then i would love to meet your kids. but people come and go your children are you family and blood for life... make them them first.
1 person likes this
@clutterbug (1051)
• United States
14 Jun 09
Hi friendship, You should be very careful, because there are men and women who lie to you by saying they like kids, just to be able to get intimate with you, then eventually the intolerance he/she has to your child begins to surface. I have heard of this happening to friends of mine in the past. Just keep your ears and eyes open as you have been doing. And give your daughter a big hug, she'll more than likely be in your life as long as you live, as apposed to some guy looking for a good time.
@chaime (1153)
• Philippines
14 Jun 09
Hi, oh my, I think (as a mother myself) you made the right choice in not seeing this guy anymore. If he doesn't like kids and would not even try to get to know your daughter before judging, what do you think will happen if you do get together and what if you get kids of your own? I don't like to dwell on the possibilities... Of course, our children are our greatest treasure and I do believe that they turn to us for support and comfort and yes, their welfare should be first of our priorities. It's a 'sad' thought but that's the way life goes, we are parents and we have to care for our children. :) I think, no, I know there are plenty of guys out there who would love to meet and 'deal' with your daughter and can learn to love your daughter as much as you love her, and once this guy is found I think your daughter will warm up to him and you'll see that it's a much better place to be in. ^_^
1 person likes this
@prinzcy (5058)
• Malaysia
15 Jun 09
I also think that's the right thing to do. If he can't deals with kids, why did he date you? If you guys ever get married, what he plan to deal with your daughter? Ship her away to some boarding school? It's like not accepting your family. Your daughter should be your first priority. If he can't accept her, it's definitely goodbye.
@flzmlady (419)
• China
15 Jun 09
i think you should put your child before you,your male friend may leave you some day,but your daughter is bloodrelated to you and she comes from you.as a mother, i think you should care for her at first.
• United States
15 Jun 09
you have to put your kids first. try talking about it with her and understand why she dislikes your male friends. do they acknowledge her and include her in the conversation when they are there?