Did you plan to have children? Or was it an accident?

United States
June 26, 2009 4:55pm CST
...and how do you feel about it now that you have them? Would you have done it differently, or maybe waited longer? Would your kids be by the father thay have or someone else had you waited? I ask because I have been trying to have a baby for may years. I am almost to the point of giving up. Literally. I am 37 yrs old and it isnt gonna get any easier. My head tells me to just stop--and be happy with my step-son...but my heart wont let me give up yet....I dont wanna be 50 yrs old and end up pregnant... So--tell me about you're experience with kids.
2 people like this
10 responses
@littleone3 (2065)
27 Jun 09
I had my first son at 19 and he was planned then I got pregnant when he was just seven months but miscarried I was not ready to have another child at that point the only reason I got pregnant was because the doctor put me on the mini pill and it didn't work. Then I went on to have my second son who was born just eighteen months after his brother he was not planned but I loved being a mother and still do. Then we did plan another baby as I wanted a daughter and that is what I got my next son was not planned. After that I lost my husband and was happy with just me and my four kids as far I was concerned I was not having any more children. But everything changed when I meet my current partner we felt that having a child together would make our relationship. We had a son together who is now three. My children make me proud every day and I would not be without them. Good luck to you I hope that you have the joy of a child soon. Maybe you should see your doctor. Sometimes they do say that you can try too hard.
• India
27 Jun 09
No plan no life! Life is full plans and plans are converted into action and action to life.This is like a cycle
• Canada
27 Jun 09
i agree
@maximax8 (28247)
• United Kingdom
7 Jul 09
I always dreamed of having a daughter and a son. I thought having two children would be perfect. I met my husband when I was twenty one years old and I was on my trip around the world. He came to visit me when I was back home. We got married and had a son. Our marriage only lasted six years. I was studying and working so having a second child didn't fit into my plans after I had my first son. I thought he would be an only child and I was disappointed not to have got a daughter. In my thirties I had another relationship and got pregnant with my second son. Then two years later I had my baby daughter. So I had my first son at 22 years old, my second son at 34 years and my daughter at 36 years old. I know that stress can affect a lady's chance of getting pregnant. Relaxation might be the key you need. One of my friends got pregnant whilst on holiday. I think being fit and healthy helps. It is possible to get pregnant in the late thirties. You could seek medical advice if you like. Good luck.
• United States
27 Jun 09
I never thought I could get pregnant and have kids. I was with the same guy on and off for years and never got pregnant and I never used birth control.I found out later that I could get pregnant but it would be harder for me to get pregnant because I have a unusually long cervix.You might want to get checked out and see if you may have the same problem. Well, I wanted to have a child but I basically thought I never would and I was pretty set in my lifestyle of being childless. But when I was 30 I found out I was pregnant and oh boy, talk about changing my life quickly. I had to move into a bigger place and shift my attention to taking care of myself ( health wise)and take a crash course about parenting and dealing with a new born.Now my son is 7 and I'm with his father, married and I'm glad I had my son. I doubt I will have another child , one is enough for me. If you really want a child you shouldn't give up, try to at least to have one child if you can. My mom was 38 years old when she gave birth to me and this was in the last 60's and she did fine and I came out ok.If you heart is set on having a child do what you can to make it possible.
• Malaysia
27 Jun 09
Dear countrysun2sea, I understand your sorrow. Ever since I got married 4 years ago, my husband and I already planned to have lots of children. But until now, I'm still unable to have children. What is really breaking me inside is that to live each day with a thought that I can't give any children to my loving husband. He's such a wonderful and a good man that really adores children. On August last year, his sister who had just been married for 6 months gave birth to a son. And a couple of months ago, I got news that she is pregnant again. I knew that I should be happy for her, but I was really depressed that I can't do the same for my husband. I can see how happy he was while holding his nephew. Maybe he wished that he was holding his own son... :-( Anyway, we're not thinking of adopting yet, as my husband still hopes that I will get pregnant someday. He is so positive-thinking...while I, on the other hand, is always thinking of the worse that might happen. What if God doesn't want to give us any children in this life? What will happen then? .... FYI, I'm 31 now, and like you, I too don't wanna be 50 yrs old and end up pregnant...I pray and hope that we will get pregnant very soon..:-)
@irahat (90)
• Pakistan
27 Jun 09
I am also waiting for a baby desperately because its been almost 2 years of my marriage and it seem like 5 to 6 years that I was trying. But don't give up hope just pary to God and keep faith and carry on the good work because you never know when God gave you the most beautiful ever gift of life..!! Guys please pray for me too..!!
@singlemommy (2953)
• United States
27 Jun 09
Have you consulted a doctor about your situation? If not, then I would do that if I was you. Both of my children were accidents. Don't get me wrong, I knew there was a chance that I would get pregnant but honestly, both times I didn't think it was going to happen. See, my first boyfriend and I were trying to get pregnant and had done so for over a year, then we broke up and a week later I found out that I was pregnant. It was an ackward situation but we tried to work things out, we were together for a few years after our daughters birth but we eventually just couldn't work things out. I wasn't on any type of birth control after I had my daughter and I never got pregnant after she was born. After my ex and I split up, I started seeing someone else, I thought maybe the problem of getting pregnant was on my part so I didn't use any protection. After a couple months, I found out that I was pregnant again. Now, sometimes I think that I would have chosen different fathers for my children, but I guess it really wasn't TOTALLY my choice. I had left the father of my children up in fate and God gave me the fathers of these children. I sometimes wonder why but I honestly believe he gave my children the fathers they have to make me a stronger person. I wish you luck on trying to conceive. Just enjoy your step child for now and hopefully God will bless you sometime soon.
@candy2306 (577)
• India
27 Jun 09
hi, i'm not planning neither met an accident! it won't be an accident for me though, as i've been waiting for a year now. i'm 27 years old and married for a year and half. the waiting part and getting a Big Fat No is what i can't stand to see every month! i never thought getting pregnant is so tough. but yeah, after married and waiting proved me all wrong!
@gutzcy (9)
• Philippines
27 Jun 09
Personally, I did not plan to have a kid at that time but my live in partner got pregnant.well I married her and I'm glad our kid is already 7 yrs. old and turning 8 this coming October.
@Kirkex (1)
• United States
27 Jun 09
My daughter Cali was an accident, but we like to say "suprise". I'm only 18 so I think if I had the choice, things would be a little different. I would have waited much longer before having her, I'm still so young and much of my social life is stifiled by fatherhood. Don't get me wrong, it's an amazing experience, and if you think you're ready, keep on trying! You never know what kind of suprise you might get.