why is it that when people have a problem

problem must be solved. everyone has their own way to finish. I have a problem when I tried to save themselves, I always try to finish themselves. because I did not want to pester other people.

Hi ,I think you have the right attitude and are very practical in your approach. One has to be direct, should think of getting to the root of the problem and solving it, rather than involve too many people and issues which will only make things more complicated. ..

Well you are correct that when we have problem with a certain person, we go to everybody else except that person. The main reason which I think is that we look for neutral opinions and some vindication of our own stand. We have problems when we don’t agree on some issues with a person, so going to that same person is not going to help me really…moreover with relations strained, neither of the parties are magnanimous enough to say sorry and forget and move on. So in most cases, going to the person who is supposedly the root of the cause, does not help but rather aggravates the situation with further misunderstandings. On the other hand, mutual friends or family members have a more balanced view of the situation and they can help both the parties in resolving their differences.

I know what you are talking about, and a lot of people mistake how I operate as someone who goes to other people instead of the source. I tend to go to the people directly unless there are multiple problems in the situation. In the following situation, I did go to the hospital manager: I work in a vet clinic in the kennels (with the boarding dogs and cats). One of the techs came up to me and informed me that one of the dogs had been left out overnight. I was told not to "tattle," and that the issue should have been handled within the group of people that work in the kennels. I lasted until about lunch. I realized that if anything happened to the dog, knowing that he was outside all night could make the difference between one treatment and another, and that the girl I was working with that day, and me, would be in just as much trouble for not speaking up about a potentially harmful situation should something bad have happened. But, that's just me.

I feel a lot the same..when I have a problem with someone I will confront theat person with it or keep it to myself. I am not one to put my problems upon someone else or air my "dirty laundry" where it is not necessary. There are very few occasions that I will ask a close friend advice on a situation but never to the point where it burdens them. I am a member of a social network where I have added a few of my old friends and I get so sick and tired of seeing all of them putting their problems on the web to where almost everyone can see..I mean I like it because I can be nosey LOL but I still don't feel that it is the right way to complain about your problems. Especially when it is an argument that says you know who you are and if your going to talk crap do it to my face types. Well I am sure half of those people have talked crap on that person and if they were going to talk crap to your face they would of done before you had to post a rant blog and I am sure that that little blog isn't going to change any of that.