Live-in first before marriage OR Marriage first before live-in??

@Azaerus (821)
Philippines
July 10, 2009 1:05am CST
The traditional custom is to get married first before you can live your own with your newly vowed partner in life.We all know that this custom is done before by all the countries worldwide..Today I think fewer and fewer people follow this custom for they would choose to live in first with their partner before getting married.Few people choose to be married first before moving into their own house with their partner. But which you prefer is the best thing to do first??In my opinion,I prefer living in first with my girlfriend before we could get married.Currently we are living i one roof in my house but most of the times we go also go to her house and sleep there.I think it's better for it this way first because in this way I can see everything about her.My point is before I get to marry a woman I wanna make sure that there is nothing I don't like about her whether we get to get along in the future when were already married and live in our own house.
6 responses
@mobhomeir (7567)
• Philippines
12 Jul 09
That's the trend now. "Trial Marriages". A sort of trial and error. After a couple of years or less than a year if the relationship would not prosper or they can't go along the would have to separate. What about if they would have a children and they decided to separate what happen to their children? They would grow up with out their parents who would guide them? What future that lies ahead on all of those children who are the victims of this situation. The chances and possibility of these children to follow also what they experienced to their parents are great to happen again. If you ask my opinion I am against with this "trial marriage", I am just looking the future that lies ahead of the children who are the victims of broken families...Thanks
@Azaerus (821)
• Philippines
12 Jul 09
That's actually the problem,couples like this are being too selfish only thinking about themselves and not thinking how it would affect their kids if they have any..They think that the only solution is to separate,they're not even trying to resovle things out..poor children of theirs and yeah for sure with no doubt the thing that happen to their parents will happen to them too..so sad..:(
@janebeth (2034)
• Philippines
10 Jul 09
hi, that's a good topic azaerus.. nowadays a lot of parters are living first before marrying, and after they got 2-3 children thats the time they will marry, and thats bad you know (sorry).. marriage is a holy matrimony, there's the blessing in your family and that is very important, always imoprtant..!! janebeth...
@Azaerus (821)
• Philippines
10 Jul 09
As I've mentioned above,I don't have any plans of having kids if I'm not yet married for that will definitely change the relationship of a live in couple..and if for some instance that my relationship won't work atleast I don't have to undergo the long process of divorce..I just want to make sure my marriage will go smooth and won't end up in a divorce..and for the "holy matrimony" well I'm not that really holy person so it doesn't matter if I'm not yet married and having a live in partner..As long as me and my girl are both happy and are in love with each other...for me that's the only thing that matters for now...well we're gonna get married in the future anyways when we're ready to take the vows and when we already have a stable life..
@Meljep (1668)
• United States
10 Jul 09
Marriage provides the security that a loving relationship can grow in. Just living together is a sad farce of the real thing, and many times breaks down the relationship because of the insecurities. There are no perfect humans and there are things that won't be appealing to us about the person we marry, but that's a part of the whole life cycle. When you can love someone even if they aren't perfect - this is true love. Communication is the best key in finding out about a person's values and responses to life situations. Good luck with everything!
@Azaerus (821)
• Philippines
10 Jul 09
Some marriage only ends up in a divorce and that's one thing I don't want my marriage to end up..Divorce is just making everything else complicated specially if the couple already have kids...I don't agree having kids while not yet married though I prefer live in..Having kids while not yet married is another matter..
@Rainegurl (2158)
• Philippines
16 Oct 09
Hi, Azaerus Definitely marriage before living together. I am a prude when it comes to this issue. If I would want to know a person better, I would date him and would only marry him when I am sure that we are both ready for it and know each other enough. Of course it is true that you won't really know the person until you are both living under the same roof. But at least when you have been together for a long time, been to his house and have met his family, you would at least get the idea what kind of person he is. Is he selfish? Is he capable of physical abuse? That would show soon enough as long as you also have an open mind and have a little caution. The little surprises when you are finally living together--like refusing to pick up towels and squeezing the toothpaste at the middle of the tube--would be trivial. But I have no problem with other people deciding to live together without marriage. I know some people who are and I absolutely respect their choice as long as it is really their choice. That they have thought about it and has decided that what they have is the best for now. Cheers!
@EliteUser (3971)
• Australia
28 Sep 09
Hey, Well I am always going to stick to the marriage first before live-in, mainly because if you choose to live in before, you might get bored of each other quickly, and then look for someone else. Marriage just feels more special. Life is never perfect, it is largely a compromise
• China
10 Jul 09
i agree with you,there are some different life way between you go out with her and you live with her,after all you will live with her in the future may be more than 50 years,the modern society is very open,in order to you will be able to get along in family life,i agree to live-in first before marriage.